Chapter Three

I can’t help but think that tonight is going to be a turning point in my relationship with Emil. He wants to stop the night. That’s huge. Massive - and for once, I’m not panicking. Wow! Maybe I’m finally coming to terms with the realisation that I shouldn’t be afraid of getting emotionally involved as well as physically involved with a man. I hope he remembers to pack his toothbrush!

I’m smiling as I walk across the car park at work, my heart - and other bits of me - looking forward to the evening ahead. I still struggle to comprehend with how far we’ve come in such a short time. It’s quite staggering.

I’m so engrossed in my thoughts that I don’t hear someone calling me and I jump when I feel a hand on my shoulder. “Scott! You startled me.”

“Sorry. I did call out but you were miles away.”

I’m usually delighted to see him but not this time. “I’m just on my way home.”

“Erm, yeah! Look, can I come round later? I’d like to see you.”

Ah. “Oh, Scott. I’m really sorry. I’m already doing something tonight.” I can hardly bear to look at him.

He tilts my chin up. “Change your plans. I need to see you. Badly!” He’s serious.

I pull back. “Sorry. I can’t.” And won’t. Why should I? I don’t know why but I’m really pissed off with him. He’s been more than a little elusive ever since our afternoon together a few weeks ago and now I’m expected to drop everything because he’s got some free time and wants to get his end away.

“You could if you wanted to.” He’s angry.

And so am I. “I don’t.”

He grabs hold of my arm as I turn to walk away. “You’re screwing someone else, aren’t you? Who is he? How long has it been going on?”

I pull my arm free. “That’s none of your business, Scott.”

He shakes his head. “So you are then. Screwing someone else. Well that’s just great!”

I’m really pissed off now. “What exactly has it got to do with you, huh?” Normally I like good argument, it gets me hot. But the way he’s looking at me just makes me angry. “I’m just someone you’re fucking because you aren’t getting it at home so don’t you dare stand there and think you have territorial rights over me! Why don’t you just piss on my leg and be done with it?”

He makes to grab my arm again but I step back. “You’ve changed your tune. You couldn’t get enough of me a few weeks ago.”

“A lot can happen in a few weeks, Scott. You left my bed and went home to your marital bed and I haven’t seen or spoken to you since. And now you think I’m going to roll over and spread my legs or open my mouth just because you have a convenient gap in your busy schedule.”

“That’s not what I meant!”

“Isn’t it?”

He runs his fingers through his hair. “Okay. Well, maybe it is.”

I laugh but it’s not in amusement. “Oh, Scott. I’m sorry but I don’t work like that. I do have a life, you know.”

He snorts. “Obviously.”

I snort back. “That’s what Friends with Benefits is. I never said anything about exclusivity, did I?”

“No. I just assumed.....”

“You assumed wrong. For all I know, you and your wife are at it like rabbits.” He is seriously annoying me now and I turn to walk away. I’ve got better things to do than stand around and debate morality with an adulterer.

He runs ahead of me and blocks my path. “Hey, we’re not done here!”

My heart is racing. His eyes are dark but not with his usual passion. All I see is rage and anger - and it scares the hell out of me. I take a deep breath. “Oh yes we are. No-one tells me what to do. Not ever. Not you. Not any man. Now get the fuck out of my way unless you want me to scream my head off!” I don’t wait for his response as I push past him and walk quickly. I can feel his eyes burning into my back but I don’t turn around.

As my heart start calming down, I ease my pace and as I turn at the end of the road, I risk a quick look back. I sigh with relief to see that he’s not there. Despite being argumentative in nature, I intensely dislike confrontation. It unnerves me.

Taking a deep breath, I walk to the bus stop, getting there just as it arrives. As I sit and drift off, I think about Emil. I was wrong about Scott. I hope with all my heart that I’m not wrong about him too.