Tessa leaned against the railing, her sights trained on Marci’s cabin. Her heart ached. Why, she didn’t know. She hadn’t done anything wrong. Yet she still felt like everything was her fault.
She just wanted Marci to listen to her. To hear her. To see how crazy this whole thing was. But most of all, she wanted to look Marci in the eye with every word, to make sure she got it.
Four times this morning alone, she’d gone to Marci’s cabin to knock on the door, the fourth was full on banging, yelling for her to open the fucking door and to stop being such an immature toddler, hoping that her words would piss Marci off enough to jerk the door open.
It hadn’t.
She had no idea what she would have said if she’d been faced with Marci’s enraged stare again, but she knew she had to say something. Had to get it off her chest once and for all.
This was all insane. Completely and ridiculously insane. What were the odds that Monty, her very own sister, was the one who crushed Marci’s world? Yet here she was, living the reality.
And if not for Monty and Seth talking her off the ledge last night, she would have packed her bags and left this contest. She was still prepared to. Ready to get the hell off this mountain, away from Marci, out of her life forever, because that’s what she thought was best.
Not for herself. But for Marci.
And here she stood in the freezing cold, watching Marci’s cabin for any sign of movement. Praying she would change her mind and open the door, motion her over, and have makeup sex right after she told her off for being so over-the-top.
But the longer she stood on the porch, the more she realized that wasn’t going to happen. Marci wasn’t going to invite her in. She wasn’t going to sit down and talk this out.
That made her even madder. And clueless. Lost. Why did she feel so lost? Why was she still so mad? And sad. And confused.
One minute she was blaming Marci for being out of her mind. The next, she blamed Monty for being such a slut. The next, she felt that fighting spirit she’d inherited from her mother take back control, and she wanted to tell them both to go fuck themselves.
This was truly the most twisted scenario she’d ever found herself in. Utterly and completely twisted.
The door opened behind her, and Tessa looked down into her mug of coffee that was probably as cold as the ice crystal dripping off the trees for as long as she’d been staring across the distance to Marci’s house.
Monty joined her against the railing.
“Will it help for me to say I’m sorry again?”
“No.”
“Then stop.”
“Stop what?” Tessa took a sip of her coffee and as suspected, it was freezing cold.
“That face.” Monty propped her foot against the rail. “Don’t do that face.”
“I don’t have a face.” Tessa poured the coffee over the porch and set the mug down.
“Yes, you do. It’s a defeated face. It’s a white towel waving kind of face. We Daltons don’t do defeated faces.”
Tessa glanced toward Marci’s cabin. Was she there? Had she been ignoring Tessa all morning, watching her trek through the snow, through the trees, all the way to her cabin, watching Tessa through the curtain like a coward?
“I’m fine.”
“No, you’re not. You’re mad. She’s mad. And I’m the root of it all.”
“You’re not the root, Monty. And the more you say that, the more pissed I get at you. So stop.”
“Fine. I’ll shut up. But please don’t throw in the towel, Tess. You’ve bossed your way through this whole contest. Don’t you dare bow out now. I’d never be able to forgive myself.”
It sucked that Monty was right about one thing. The Dalton girls weren’t allowed to show defeat. It was a sign of weakness. And they didn’t do weak. However, Tessa had always assumed she and Michelle had gotten that independence from their mother. After all, it was their mother who had held all the pieces together while their father got to start a brand new life, brand new wife, brand new house, and a brand new baby that turned out to be the most glorious, hellacious thorn in Tessa’s side. God, how she loved that little brat. The very one blaming herself right now.
Yet Monty possessed that strong will also. Possibly far stronger than she or Michelle. So had they inherited that watch me win gene from their father? Unlikely. As awesome as he was, as much as she loved him, he was weak. He couldn’t say no. Hadn’t said no. His weakness had cost him dearly. Was still costing him. Tessa wasn’t sure his bond with Michelle would ever be repaired. Likely, after all of these years, it never would be.
Yet their mother had never blamed Monty’s mother. Not once. Even when her world was spinning out of control, she hadn’t blamed the wrong person. Her finger had always stayed pointed at their father. Exactly where it deserved to be pointed.
Maybe Tessa should send her mother to have a word of prayer with Marci. Surely she could set her twisted mind straight.
Suddenly, her sorrow turned into a bit of anger.
Why was she the one waiting for Marci to show herself across the woods? Why was she the one banging on her door all morning? She hadn’t done anything wrong. Neither had Monty. Marci was her own worst enemy, and Tessa needed to lift her chin and drive right back into the game. She should have never taken her eyes off the prize in the first place. Her intrigue over Marci had made her do that. She’d succumbed to lust and it was biting her in the ass right now.
Marci would never see how wrong she was. She didn’t want to. She needed someone to blame. Needed to blame the wrong person. And as much as Tessa could understand why, she couldn’t keep dwelling on an outcome that wasn’t going to change. An outcome she couldn’t change.
Monty would always be her sister. A sister she loved no matter what.
Meanwhile, more importantly, the new client’s video was waiting for her to view. A contest was waiting for her to win.
A new life was just around the corner.
It was all hers for the taking.
Fuck Marci and her brick wall.
Fuck her.
Tessa snagged her mug off the banister and spun toward the door. “Let’s get to work.”
“Now you’re talking!”
* * *
Marci listened to the secretary take yet another phone call while she sat in the lobby waiting for her lawyer to prepare the paperwork for both the closing on the house as well as her divorce papers. Two birds. One stone.
She was more ready than she thought to get this final step over with.
She thought she’d be nervous. She was about an hour away from being a divorced woman and no longer a homeowner.
Two for one. This should be easy. Especially when she and Ashley didn’t have anything to settle on. Ashley hadn’t put anything down on the house. Hadn’t even helped Marci choose a house. Hell, she hadn’t even helped her house hunt. Not one dime had she put into Marci’s new home, no matter how far Marci had had to travel to find it. The house was hers and hers alone. Had been from the minute she sat alone at the closing and then waited patiently for the next year for Ashley to move her belongings in.
From the minute Marci’s feet touched Arizona dirt, she’d done all she could to prove to Ashley that she wanted a forever life with her. To provide for Ashley. What a mistake that had been.
But at least she’d get something back. Every dime of her money as the last bid had been exactly what she’d been looking for, even though she hadn’t jumped fast enough, and after the Realtor contacted them they said they were still more than interested in buying the house and were ready to sign the papers immediately, with cash.
Marci couldn’t get back the time or the heartbreak she’d put into Ashley, but she could damn well chalk the loss up to a lesson learned and a mistake she would never make again.
Never, ever again.
The secretary ended the phone call and the room was silent again. Her mind slipped to Tessa. To the last time she’d seen her. Those eyes. Watching her. Those sad eyes pleading with her to stop. To listen. To hear.
There was nothing to hear. She’d heard all she wanted to hear. Seen all she needed to see when Tessa protectively stepped in front of her slutty sister. How dare she take her side. How dare she.
With a huff, Marci raked her fingers through her hair and shifted in the chair, wishing her lawyer would hurry up with the paperwork so she could sign everything and get the hell out of this stuffy office.
She wanted out of this state. Out of this heat. Out of Ashley’s life and her world forever.
The front door opened, and Marci glanced around to find Ashley stepping inside. Her pale blue eyes landed on Marci, and sadness filled them.
Marci had a flashback of the first time she’d ever laid eyes on her. Ashley had been decked out in snow gear after just ending a ski lesson, sitting in the coffee shop with her group of chattering friends, when Marci ducked inside to grab a hot chocolate before she headed home for the day.
As soon as Ashley had turned those eyes on her, Marci had felt the connection. Or rather, the inability to disconnect. Something in those eyes made her keep watching the group. And something in that smile and flirty eyes had encouraged her to introduce herself to the table of giggling women. To Ashley in particular.
Marci had been awestruck.
And then she’d become an idiot. She’d become obsessed with her, spending every available minute of Ashley’s free time getting to know her. Then when it was time for Ashley’s vacation to end, she’d ask if there was a possibility for a future. With those pouty lips pursed, Ashley had told her there was, but only if Marci was willing to move. There hadn’t been a thought process for Marci. She was in. One hundred percent, she was all in. So she’d gone after her, followed her, and soon created a life with her.
And here she was, only feet away, looking just as good today as she had all those years ago. Wearing tight blue jeans with a pair of black pumps and matching deep vee blouse, she was still gorgeous.
But one thing was missing this time. Marci’s heart. Ashley had ripped that out and stomped on it. She’d made sure Marci could never give it to another person.
Also, that flutter. That flutter was gone. That quickening in her gut, gone. That instant connection that had been all consuming so many years ago, was no longer present.
All gone.
Marci was suddenly grateful. For once, the sight of Ashley didn’t weaken her knees. Didn’t make her stomach knot and didn’t make her heart skip.
As if mentally summoned by Marci’s sudden discomfort, by the need to get the hell away from Ashley, to get on with the next phase of life, whatever that was, her lawyer stuck his head around the corner. “Marci. Ashley. We’re ready. Can you join us in the conference room?”
Marci shoved out of her chair, eager, ready.
“Marci,” Ashley softly said her name.
That sound used to drive Marci stupid.
This time, it irritated her as she turned to face her, taking in the sadness in Ashley’s expression.
“Can we talk before we go in?” Ashley asked.
Marci turned to her lawyer, hoping he would deny the request. He gave a nod.
She turned back to Ashley. “Sure.”
Ashley’s led the way back out the door. Out into the sunshine. The heat. The devil’s heat.
She walked halfway down the sidewalk before she stopped and turned to Marci. Sadness filled her eyes and she fidgeted with her hands, something Marci used to find adorable. She would do anything to make Ashley’s worry go away, to make her forget. Now she just felt pity and had no desire to ease her worry.
Ashley had done an awful thing, got caught, and was living with the consequences. Sure, Marci could forgive her. But to forgive, she would need to forget. Forgetting was impossible. What Ashley had done, Marci could never forget.
“I’ve wanted to talk to you so bad.” Ashley looked down at the ground then slowly back up at Marci. “To say how sorry I was for what I did.”
Marci studied her pretty eyes and didn’t see anything but regret in them. Good. She deserved to see regret. Ashley owed her that much.
Ashley shifted uncomfortably while Marci remained silent. But inside, she was hearing Tessa. Hearing Tessa’s words. Her promise.
You’re going to run across her again someday. Ask her why. Your closure will be in her answer. I promise.
Was she right? Would the closure be in Ashley’s answer? Did Marci even want to know why anymore? What would it change? Nothing. It wouldn’t change anything. But the answer didn’t need to change to get the answer. Isn’t that what Tessa had said? That she deserved to hear that answer?
Before Marci could change her own mind, before the voices could talk her out of asking the question, Marci gathered her courage and let the words out. “Why, Ashley? Why did you do it?” She shoved her hands in her pockets to keep from crossing them protectively across her chest.
Ashley closed the distance, her eyes suddenly full of hope. “I felt so abandoned, Marci. I was always so alone. You were working all the time and constantly talking about starting that stupid business in that dreadful cold place. Not to mention you always had Wendy in your ear talking shit about me.” She squeezed Marci’s arms. “I thought I was losing you. I thought Wendy was going to convince you to go back home. I freaked out, Marci. I did a horrible, lousy thing. Could you ever find it in your heart to forgive me?”
With every word, Marci felt more anger gathering.
Was Ashley serious?
Coming from a woman who did girls’ night out every weekend with her besties while Marci worked overtime to learn how to be a travel agent. She didn’t have time to be lonely. Coming from a woman who didn’t mind entertaining their friends while her wife was selling another vacation package to replace the money Ashley had spent on day spas. Again, no time to be lonely. And coming from a woman who had picked up a woman during one of those girls’ nights out then carried her home, to their home, and fucked her in the very bed they’d picked out together with the commission from those sales during those overtime hours.
Tessa was right. God, how right she was. The closure was definitely in the answer. And it was so damn loud.
And then something else Tessa said blossomed in her mind.
She wasn’t your team player. She doused your flame.
She should have bulldozed you to the finish line.
Damn if Tessa wasn’t right again.
Ashley hadn’t been her team player. Her equal. Her ride or die. And she’d allowed Ashley to douse her flames for what could have been an amazing future. She could have had an amazing life had a piece of ass not caught her attention. If she hadn’t been too weak to walk away. If she hadn’t been smitten with the beautiful Ashley.
Marci felt the door of closure slam as Ashley looked up at her with those pleading eyes, waiting for her response, waiting for Marci to say something.
No. She was waiting for Marci to cave. To cave to those pretty eyes. To those full, pouty lips. To her pathetic excuses. She expected Marci to succumb to her because Ashley had known the secret all along.
That Marci was her puppet.
Oh, how good it felt to feel those strings snap one at a time.
How amazing it felt to know, to feel, that Ashley hadn’t won after all. She hadn’t gotten the last laugh. She hadn’t broken Marci after all.
Ashley squeezed her arms again and pressed her body against Marci, dragging a single finger along her arms. “I know you miss me. I miss you so bad. And I miss us. Will you please forgive me and then take me home? Please, baby?”
Marci stared down at her for several long moments, waiting for the right words to surface, for the correct response to lead the way. Surely those words were in there somewhere. She’d spent eleven years with this woman. Eleven years worshipping her. There had to be something she needed to say.
“Say something, Marci.”
Marci suddenly knew exactly what she wanted to say.
Nothing.
She wanted to say absolutely nothing.
Well, maybe there was one thing.
Marci chuckled. “You’re so fucking pathetic.”
She backed away, shook her head in disgust, and walked back into the lawyer’s office.
Thirty minutes later, with her head held high, she walked out a divorced woman and her house sold.
Nothing had ever felt so good.
Well, maybe there was one thing that felt better. The realization that she’d treated Tessa so wrong. That she’d said some horrible things to her. To Monty. That she now knew Tessa was right about one thing.
It wasn’t Monty’s fault.
And she couldn’t wait to get back home to tell her how wrong she’d been.
If Tessa would listen.
If she would accept her apology.
If she would allow Marci to give one.