I bloody well knew it,’ David said. ‘Leading us on a wild-goose chase. Perverting the name of my good brother and besmirching us all in the process. And spilling my whiskey too.’
‘I knew he was trouble,’ said Marjorie. ‘He’s always had that shifty look in his eyes. They all do.’
Jon wished to just disappear.
‘I do not believe it,’ Emeline said. ‘But there it is.’
‘I can’t . . . I’m going to be sick,’ Matthew said. ‘Excuse me.’ He stalked out of the room and did not return for five or ten minutes.
The other Royals seemed to want to voice their opinions too, not to mention that Jon himself would have rather liked to state his case, but as ever the maestro Miss Darcy had the floor, and held a hand up to silence the room. ‘Now, I think we should all just put the television on and forget about this for now, yes? You may still be able to catch the end of Strictly Come Dancing if you do. Alternatively, we can stay here and play parlour games.’
Parlour games. At a time like this.
But Miss Darcy was saying things with such conviction that it was hard even for him to remain firm. Had he really acted rashly? It was true that poison had not been confirmed as the method of death, and the whiskey even less so. Was there some kind of truth locked inside Miss Darcy’s harsh words?
‘We are just meant to go back to how we were before?’ said Maud.
‘No, you misunderstand,’ Miss Darcy asserted. ‘I’m afraid you can never go back to how it was before. You have all witnessed the death of a beloved family member. You are all traumatised, exhausted, and suffering a grief I could barely dream of. But isn’t it to be British to endure? Isn’t it to be the Royal Family? Wouldn’t King Eric have wanted you to see this day out with joy and compassion for one another?’
Against it all, Emeline chuckled. ‘If he could see us now . . . ’
‘He’d laugh at all of us,’ Marjorie said.
‘How many times do you think he’d have told his ruddy fable by now?’ Emeline laughed.
‘ “One day a common family went to the zoo to see the lions . . . ’ David mimicked in a surprisingly accurate impression. ‘Yes, brother, we know. They go an awful lot.’
The family started to reminisce about Eric, and one by one they softened. Maud was the last to get consumed by nostalgia, but she did eventually, cracking up as Martin remembered Eric’s sour face while talking about The Monarch.
Jon simply watched them. Once again, he was on the outside looking in. He hated how that made him feel. And then he hated that he thought Miss Darcy might be right. He’d felt ‘among’ them for a moment, even if it was in dire circumstances. And now he was not, and never would be again.
Miss Darcy stood next to him, her smile never changing physically but meaning something completely different.
‘You did not have to do that,’ Jon said, regretting the fact that his tone sounded more dejected than hostile. At some point in his life, he had become this – the one who gets happened upon by other people. ‘You did not have to say that.’
‘No, I did not, but it is done now, and I think we are all the better for it.’
‘I would respectfully disagree.’
Miss Darcy smiled that awful smile and chuckled. ‘I don’t care about your opinion, Jonathan. I never have. Nobody in this castle ever has, unless it was to do with food. Speaking of which . . . ’ Miss Darcy raised her voice. ‘Who is hungry? It has been a long day for all of us.’
There were cries of happiness from all of the family.
‘Treat them like schoolchildren,’ Miss Darcy muttered to Jon. ‘That’s the secret.’ She clapped him on the back. ‘I expect your resignation on my desk by the time I’ve cleaned up your mess. Unless you’d like to be fired.’
Miss Darcy walked among them. ‘Jonathan will do his job for a change and go and fix us all up some supper. I’m assuming there are a fair amount of leftovers from dinner, yes?’
Jon silently nodded. He was in disbelief.
‘Then off you pop.’
And Jon found himself doing exactly as Miss Darcy ordered. His legs seemed to carry him on autopilot, with a mind of their own, as he bowed to the Royal Family and took his leave.
At the door, he looked back to them. They had already forgotten all about him. All except Miss Darcy, who raised a hand. ‘Oh, and, Jon, extra sprouts for me.’