MAYBE HE WAS an ass, Adam told himself as he stripped out of his soiled clothes and stepped into the shower, but that didn’t discount the fact that he didn’t want Sam anywhere near Juniper Falls. Not near him—where she would remind him of everything he would never have—and definitely not near the approaching fire.
By the time he left the locker room, dressed in clean scrubs, he was feeling a little more clearheaded. At midnight, this section of the hospital was quiet, so he quickly headed to ER and stuck his head through the door. When he saw that things seemed to have calmed, he went in search of food and coffee. No sense expecting anyone to wait on him.
Since he’d seen Samantha exit the tent with coffee for the deputy, he headed in that direction himself only to come up short when he saw her, laughing and chatting away with a group of dirty, sweaty firefighters like she was hosting a high society banquet.
The sight of her never failed to affect him in the most physical way. His heart began pounding, his gut clenched and he was sweating. When he realized he’d lifted a hand to rub at the ache beside his heart, he lost his legendary cool.
“What the hell are you doing here, Samantha?” he demanded when he was within earshot, the suppressed anger in his tone surprising not just her and the men surrounding her but himself, as well.
She gasped and spun around so fast, the man closest to her made a grab for her before she lost her footing. The sight of another man’s hand on her, as well as the relieved joy filling her expression an instant before she masked her emotions, was like a blow to his chest. She hadn’t however masked them quickly enough to hide the stunned hurt his words and tone caused.
The sight of that hurt, knowing he’d caused it—again—just made him angrier. And because he was angry at them both, he turned to the man wearing the vest identifying him as Incident Commander.
“Commander, I want her on the next helo out of here.” He kept his voice low but she heard him, and her shocked gasp snapped his eyes back to her pale face and huge dark eyes.
She took a step backward and almost immediately, a couple of firefighters and a uniformed ranger surrounded her as though to protect her from his hostility. She ignored them, wide eyes on his as though she couldn’t look away from the disaster unfolding around her.
He couldn’t look away either. The instant they’d locked eyes, every emotion he’d struggled to deny came storming through him until he couldn’t breathe.
From him, dammit. They were trying to protect her from him, and he hated that he’d been reduced to a jealous, insecure lover.
“Stop it,” she hissed, finally pushing past the protective barrier of guys. “You’re causing a scene. Go away and let me do my job.”
No way in hell was he going away. Not now and maybe not ever. “And what job is that?” he demanded, unable to stop himself from wrapping his fingers around her arm and pulling her toward him. On some level, he recognized the over-large shirt as his, but the instant he drew her unique fragrance into his lungs, his mind went blank.
Through the roaring in his head, he heard a voice demand, “Who are you again?”
Someone stepped forward and clapped him on the shoulder, breaking the tension. “This is Dr. Adam Knight,” Grey Larson, the new forest services area chief said, subtly nudging Adam away from Samantha. He’d gone to school with Adam, left for the military and returned to join the forest services. “He’s a surgeon from San José but he grew up in the area and provides regular specialist medical care for the county. He’s been helping out at Wilbur Pass.”
Ignoring Grey and the commander, Adam turned to Samantha and growled, “Dammit, Samantha, this is no place for you.”
“Why?” she demanded. “Because I’m some vain, useless debutante?”
Recalling Leah’s accusation, he shook his head. “I never said that, Samantha. I don’t think that.”
“Don’t you?” Her voice hitched alarmingly, making his heart clench in his chest. Damn. He hadn’t meant to make her cry. He just wanted her safe. Away from the inferno of that hungry beast heading in their direction. The thought of what those monstrous flames could do to her soft silky skin had bile rising into his throat, choking the life out of him.
When he didn’t reply, she took a deep breath and firmed her soft wide mouth. “You know what, Adam? Prejudice goes both ways.”
He blinked away the horrifying images he’d seen over the past few days. “What the hell’s that supposed to mean?”
Looking mad, she snapped, “I’m busy,” and shoved past him. “You figure it out.”
Stunned by that uncharacteristic show of aggression, Adam turned to stare after her departing figure, her back ramrod straight, her jeans-clad hips twitching and the air surrounding her practically snapping with fury.
Finally becoming aware of the silence behind him, Adam turned back to see a mix of curiosity, censure and amusement in the expressions of the men around him.
“What?” he snarled, exasperated and a little embarrassed to be caught eyeing Samantha’s bottom in those skintight jeans when what he wanted was to bundle her up and put her on the first flight to safety. Okay, so maybe that wasn’t all he wanted to do but having her safe and out of danger was suddenly an overriding drive.
“You are one dumb ass,” Grey said sadly, shaking his head.
“Yeah,” Adam sighed, scrubbing a hand down his face, wishing he could rub away the heavy feeling in his gut. “That’s nothing new.”
“So, Knight,” the commander said, his eyes intent on Adam. “How’re you at field trauma?”
Struggling against the urge to follow Samantha and demand to know what she’d meant, Adam tried to focus on the IC’s words instead of the need to have her in his arms or kiss her until the anger and misery in her eyes turned soft and sleepy with desire. Until his anger and misery melted beneath the touch of her gentle hands and soft lips.
“I volunteered for the local search-and-rescue over the summer holidays while I was in med school. Why?”
“We have a situation,” the commander, a middle-aged man with military bearing informed him. “One of the rangers was checking the fire lines near Coopers Canyon and fell about fifty feet into a gulley. We’re fairly certain he’s injured, just not how badly. We’re short paramedics and no one trained in traumatic fall injuries.” Even as he spoke, they could hear the sound of an approaching helo. “You okay to fly out, Doc?”
Adam wasn’t okay but assisting on a rescue would be the perfect distraction. His emotions were out of control and he had no idea how to fix things with Samantha so she would leave. Glancing back over his shoulder, he caught the flash of long legs disappearing through the front entrance. He couldn’t blame her because he’d been irrational when he was always the cool voice of reason.
There was nothing cool or reasonable about his feelings for Samantha and maybe it was time to settle things between them. He couldn’t live like this anymore. Wanting her desperately and hurting them both because she was too good for him.
He sighed and accepted a cup of black coffee from Grey. There was always time after they’d brought in the ranger.
“Yeah,” he said, taking a healthy slug of the strong, sweet brew, “I’m fine.”
“Good,” the commander said briskly. “I want you on that team.”
The instant Samantha found herself in a quiet dimly lit hallway, she sank back against the wall and squeezed her eyes closed against the wild emotions swamping her—anger, hurt, love and joy all mixed up inside her, making her feel a little crazy.
And then because she needed to hide the furious tears slipping through her tight lids, she slapped a hand over her eyes and bit back a sob.
Dammit, dammit, dammit! Why on earth was she crying? What the heck was wrong with her that the mere sight of Adam—tall, darkly handsome and very much alive—had sent such joy and relief swamping her that her knees had almost buckled. Okay, so she’d nearly flung herself at him, but one glimpse of his furious expression had frozen her, the hurt slicing deep enough to wound.
Deep enough that she might never recover. God, she thought, rubbing her palms over her face to eradicate every evidence of tears. What the hell was she doing here? The past few days had been hell not knowing where he was or if he was okay. When she’d seen him stalking toward her, looking all rumpled and tired, his mouth pressed into a tight line of fatigue, she’d felt such a rush of relief that for a moment she’d been dizzy. But he’d been furious, yelling at her and demanding that she be put on the next flight out.
As if she were an errant child caught playing hooky.
Biting her lip, she fought the hurt and confusion pressing in on her. And even as she gently banged her head against the wall in frustration, anger began to build too because having people leave wasn’t something new. Her parents, her siblings, her grandfather, Lawrence and now Adam. She didn’t know what was wrong with her that caused them to leave, but that didn’t mean she had to continually watch them do it.
Coming to an abrupt decision, Samantha spun around, mouth firm and shoulders straight. It would be okay, she told herself. She was strong and she was fine on her own. She certainly didn’t need a man to make her feel complete.
Determined to ignore her crazy seesawing emotions, she headed to the tiny children’s ward. There was always a little one needing a hug and a quiet story to banish their fears and heartache.
She just wished she could banish hers as easily.
Adam double-checked the injured ranger for shock and froze when the aircraft lurched sideways and then dropped before the pilot managed to wrestle the craft upright again. The wind was getting worse and he sent a wary look out the window and wondered if the red glow in the sky was a little brighter than before.
Powerful gusts of wind buffeted the aircraft, the air supercharged with dry crackling heat that seared his eyeballs and sent his hair lifting off the back of his neck. Whether from the static in the air or a foreboding, he didn’t know. But he suddenly wished he’d insisted that Samantha leave Juniper Falls, maybe even bargained with the commander—his help in exchange for flying Samantha out. But even as he thought it, he knew he could never withhold his help even to save someone he loved.
Adam abruptly stilled. There was a sudden roaring in his head as though the universe were demanding his attention. Demanding he finally acknowledge what had been there all along.
Love. He loved Samantha with everything in him. And the thought of her in the path of those greedy flames terrified him. She was his. His heart—his only. And getting back to her was suddenly more important than his pride. More important than his life because he knew that without Samantha he had nothing.
He straightened, his eyes whipping to Grey’s in the awful knowledge the instant before he felt it—felt the helo shudder. There was a terrible grinding noise as the craft was thrown sideways, tilting at an impossible angle as they plummeted into the darkness below.
Through the blood thundering in his head, he heard the pilot yelling, “Brace yourselves,” and all Adam could think was that he’d been offered love—offered everything—and he’d walked away from it.
Sam carefully placed the sleeping toddler in the empty crib and after pulling the blanket over the little body, paused to brush the tangle of curls from the child’s forehead. For just an instant, she mourned the fact that she would never have a child of her own, because the thought of having a baby with anyone but Adam seemed—abhorrent.
Maybe she should just get cats, she thought with a sad smile. Become the youngest cat lady in San José—
Abruptly, everything in her went on alert. Her head jerked up and she spun around to see Leah standing in the doorway. The med student’s face was a mask of shock, her eyes huge and devastated in her pale face. Sam instinctively knew something terrible had happened to Adam.
An awful pressure built in her chest—her ears rang—and before she realized she’d moved, she was grasping Leah’s arm and dragging her out of the children’s ward. She stared at the younger woman, her throat tight with dread. She could barely voice the terrifying thoughts in her head.
“What happened?” she demanded, her heart seizing in her chest, her world narrowing down to this moment.
“It’s Adam,” Leah whispered, her throat working furiously. Her huge eyes swam with tears. “He went out with the rescue helicopter. It—” She broke off with a sob before continuing, her voice tight with fear. “It went down a half hour ago and—Sam, they have n-no idea if there are any s-survivors.”
Sam’s mind went blank. She heard the roar of white noise in her head, and the next minute, she realized she’d slid down the wall and Leah was shoving her head between her knees.
“Breathe, Sam,” the younger woman ordered, her voice hitching with emotion. “B-breathe. Come on, in and out. Slowly. Don’t give up on him. Just—don’t.” She said the words again and again, so softly it became a chant that filled Sam’s head, surrounding her until she wondered if Leah said the words for Sam, herself or—or for Adam.
Oh, God. Adam.
An image of his broken body flashed into her mind, sending pain stabbing through her head. Her heart felt as though a giant fist were crushing that fragile organ and all she could think about was that she’d been a coward. She’d been so wrapped up in her own insecurities that she hadn’t thought about how Adam felt. About his insecurities. He’d been rejected by his socialite mother and believed he wasn’t good enough for Sam. But what he’d done with his life made her ashamed of herself, her fear of facing her feelings.
He’d blown hot and cold because she was always the one to pull back every time he got too close. She was afraid of the intensity of her feelings, afraid of risking her heart. Besides, what would such a strong, selfless man like Adam want with a woman who was too afraid to live, too afraid to love?
Because she did, she realized with blinding clarity. She loved him. With every breath in her body. With every beat of her bruised heart and she hadn’t told him. Hadn’t given him an inkling to how she felt because she was afraid of him walking away.
Now she might never get to tell him and the thought left her hollow. Empty.
And praying for a miracle.
Adam tucked his arm against his ribs and winced as he climbed one-handed down from the truck. He’d told their rescuers he was fine and had insisted on helping those in worse shape than himself, but he knew he had a cracked rib or two, a head wound that bled like a stuck pig and a laceration on his left bicep.
He would probably have a headache for a few days and he’d need a couple butterfly bandages.
The others hadn’t been so lucky and Adam had done what he could, insisting the pilot, injured ranger and Grey be flown to Fresno. The pilot had sustained a serious head injury and Adam suspected Grey had a ruptured spleen and needed emergency surgery. The rest of the flight crew were like Adam—walking wounded—and could get medical care in Juniper Falls.
All he could think about, as he moved gingerly toward ER, was finding Sam and convincing her that she was his.
And then there she was, illuminated in the doorway. Adam froze, too afraid of what he might—or might not—see in the huge eyes locked onto his.
In the instant before he knew either of them had moved, Adam saw more than he’d hoped for. Her eyes burned fever-bright, they almost glowed in the dim light. He saw terror at the blood and joy that he was alive. He saw relief and a love so huge he felt his throat close. Then Sam was flinging herself at him and he had to let go of his ribs to catch her.
Her body crashed against his and even as he winced against the pain radiating through his body, he was wrapping her in his arms as though he would never let her go. She buried her face in his sweaty, bloodied neck, and when he went to ease her away from him because she was everything that was sweet and fragrant, she gave an inarticulate protest and clung harder to him. For several long moments, he enjoyed the feel of her body against his.
He dipped his head to press a kiss to the top of her head and he felt her body shudder. And even before he heard the first sob, he felt the hot splash of her tears against his skin.
“Hey,” he murmured, dipping his head to hers and burying his face in the wild tangle of soft hair. “I’m here,” he murmured over and over, uncertain if he was reassuring her or himself that she was where he needed her.
Finally, the storm of weeping lessened and she loosened her hold. “I’m s-sorry,” she hiccupped. “I d-didn’t m-mean to c-cry, Adam, but you s-scared me.”
“It’s okay, baby,” he crooned softly, rubbing his cheek in her tousled hair, grateful to be alive if only for this moment. “I scared me too. Especially when I thought I might never get to hold you again.” He shifted and pressed a kiss to her forehead but she ducked her head.
“Don’t l-look at me,” she said quickly. “I scare everyone when I cry.”
He chuckled softly and nudged her chin until he was looking into eyes as damp as the early morning sky after a storm. “I don’t scare easily, Samantha Jefferies. My ancestors were warriors.”
“Oh, God,” she sniffed, catching his wrist when he caught her tears with his thumb. “I must look awful.”
Staring down into her familiar face, Adam felt his heart turn over in his chest. “You could never, Sam,” he murmured, dipping his head to touch his lips gently to hers, tasting tears as well as home. “You’re beautiful. Even when you cry.”
Sam gave a watery laugh and let her lips cling to his. “You’re a terrible liar, Adam Knight.”
“Oh, baby,” he rasped, love and relief crashing through him. “I wouldn’t mind drying your tears for the next fifty years. You’re beautiful. You’ll always be beautiful to me.”
Everything in her stilled. After a couple of beats, she lifted her head and pushed away a few inches so she could see his face.
Her eyes searched his. “What—what are you saying, Adam?”
“I’m such an idiot,” he said roughly. “For trying to send you away when you belong right here. With me. I love you, Samantha Jefferies, and I’m not about to let you go.”
Sam gasped, her eyes wide and a little shocked as she stared into his. The universe seemed to still. As though the very air was holding its breath. It was then that Adam realized they had a growing audience and they too seemed to be holding their breaths.
“You—you love me?” she gasped, looking stunned. As though she couldn’t conceive that he might.
“Oh, yeah.” He bent his head to crush her lips with his for a moment before sliding his mouth to her ear. “You don’t think I make an idiot of myself or declarations like this every day, do you? Especially in front of an audience.”
Sam gasped and whipped her head around to see the entire ER as well as all the firefighters and rescue crews all gathered around, watching the drama unfold.
“Omigod,” she yelped, jumping back, her hand flying up to cover her flaming cheek. “Why didn’t you tell me everyone was looking?” she squeaked. Her retreat brought her bumping into Adam, her elbow catching him right where a huge bruise was forming on his side. Pain exploded through him and lights exploded inside his head. He heard a muttered oath and felt himself falling.
Sam cried out and tried to catch him but he was a big man, taking them both down. From a distance, he heard someone barking out instructions in a voice tight with worry, then he was being lifted and carried.
When he next surfaced, bright lights burned against his eyelids and for just an instant, he was confused. Then his memory returned in a rush and he groaned. He’d passed out like a little girl—right at Sam’s feet.
Way to go with impressing his woman.
“Adam,” an imperative feminine voice demanded. “Can you hear me? Open your eyes before I call Aunt Coco.” He groaned again and turned, taking in Samantha’s pale worried face through eyes narrowed against the bright light. Her eyes were filled with fear—for him.
Her fingers jerked against his and he realized she was gripping his hand fiercely. Her breath hitched as it did when she was having a panic attack, “Breathe, baby,” he croaked. “Look at me and take a deep breath.”
“Dammit, Adam,” she rasped, her throat working convulsively. “I’m not having a panic attack, and why didn’t you tell me you were injured?”
For long moments, he stared at her, wondering if he’d entered an alternate universe. “Why?” he croaked, licking his parched lips.
There was a quick wrinkling of her brow as she lifted an ice cube to his lips. “Why what?”
His forehead tightened as he stared up into her face, noticing for the first time that she didn’t have that wild panicked look in her eyes and her skin wasn’t sheened with the perspiration that usually accompanied an attack.
His hand gripped hers and although her fingers trembled in his, her skin was warm silk. He frowned. “Why aren’t you having an attack?”
She stared at him for a couple of beats as though he were insane. “You’re lying here bleeding from a head wound and possible internal injuries and all you can worry about is whether I’m having a panic attack?”
He nodded, then winced when pain lanced through his brain. “It’s just a couple of cracked ribs,” he explained. “Nothing serious.”
She gave a watery snort and brushed the hair off his forehead. “You’re crazy, you know that?” And when he continued to watch her, her face flushed the wild rose that never failed to entrance him. “All right,” she burst out, looking embarrassed. “I—I did have one but only at the thought that I might never see you again.” She sucked in a deep breath and looked like she was about to admit to something heinous. “I love you, Adam,” she admitted in a rush, her flush deepening and her eyes looking just a little bit panicked. “A warrior needs a woman who won’t fall apart at the first sign of trouble.” Her breath rushed out. “So, no more panic attacks for me.”
His smile started small, just tugging the corners of his mouth. “God, woman. You have no idea how much I love you,” he declared, joy filling him until he laughed and pulled her down to his mouth. “I don’t care about your panic attacks, only that I’m there to help you through them. You’re everything I dreamed of having for myself, Samantha. You make me feel like I’m finally home. Be mine.” And then he was kissing her, coaxing her lips, reveling in the softness of her mouth, adoring the way her lips clung to his and desperate for the taste of her heart spilling into his mouth.
When he finally came up for air, he kept her close, secretly pleased with her ragged breathing. “Come home with me Sam.” He kissed the corner of her mouth. “Build a life with me.” He brushed his lips across her eyelashes. “Make a life with me—for at least the next fifty years.”
She sucked in a sharp breath and pulled away, eyes damp and luminous in her flushed face. “Oh, Adam.”
“Forgive me for being a prejudiced idiot,” he said fiercely, afraid that she would say she loved him but couldn’t be with him. “I’m so in love with you I went a little crazy there for a while because all I could think about was that you were too good for someone like me. I panicked.”
“Someone like you?” she asked gently, her face radiating love and joy as she cupped his face in her hand. “You mean a man who stole my heart despite my determination to remain heart-whole? A man who gives everything of himself to others because that’s who he is? A man with more love, compassion and courage in his little finger than anyone I know?”
“Marry me, Sam,” he coaxed softly, wondering for just an instant if he were dreaming. But her hand was warm and gentle on his face, her breath a brush of love. “I know I’m not much to look at and I don’t have the pedigree of your Boston blue blood but I—”
Sam gently placed a finger against his lips, dipping down to replace it with her mouth. “You’re everything, Adam,” she murmured, her eyes shining with the force of her emotions. “And you’re perfect for me.”
A sound drew their attention, and they looked up to see the entire ER—and the rescue crews—had followed them into the ER to blatantly eavesdrop. A couple of nurses sniffed, looking teary-eyed and several men wore huge grins.
“Thank God for our audience,” Adam chuckled, palming the hand still cupping his cheek. His eyes caught hers. “With all these witnesses, you have to say yes.”
Sam gave a watery chuckle and hid her face in his neck. “Yes,” she murmured against his throat. “With you, it’ll always be yes.”
Adam couldn’t prevent the grin that split his face.
“She said yes,” he told the impatient crowd, and with the roar of approval embracing them both, he took her mouth in a kiss that began their future.
A future destiny had gifted him.
If you enjoyed this story, check out these other great reads from Lucy Ryder
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Keep reading for an excerpt from Second Chance with His Army Doc by Charlotte Hawkes.