My name is Lola Sexton, and I’m a sex addict.

Okay…that’s a lie. Truth is, I’m a dating and relationship columnist for the San Francisco Times. Think of my column as a game of Simon Says—an adult game for all of the curious little sex cubs out there.

My readers call me Sex, and in a world of people searching for themselves and their perfect someone, Sex always Says.

Sex Says: do as I say and not as I do when it comes to dating advice.

Sex Says: don’t be afraid to try new positions and learn what you love—though make sure to stretch before the Chinese Dragon.

Sex Says: if you let guys walk all over you, you could end up smelling like feet.

Don’t fall in love with guys like Reed Luca.

Wait… I meant to say, Sex Says: don’t fall in love with guys like Reed Luca.

He might look like God’s gift to women, but he’s not. He’s a total prick.

 

Oh, God… Did I just jinx myself?