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Adrika
I had barely begun to think of my marriage to Rian as an improvement in my life when King Reagan showed up. Rian did not even look back as he left the throne room with his brother. Panic clawed at my thoughts. My husband may now leave Dermot without me and never look back. I tried to make sense of my feelings. We were not in love. His leaving should have no effect, but I knew in my heart that it would change everything.
When Rian finally came looking for me, I was sitting out on our veranda. A small brazier burned in front of me. I had been here for the better part of an hour wrapped in a blanket with my hands soaking up the warmth of a hot mug of cider. The cold I felt seemed to radiate from the inside out. I glanced at my husband long enough to see the excitement written in his features before turning away.
He bent down and kissed me on the cheek. “I thought you would have come looking for me once court was over.”
I took a sip of my cider. “Considering you and your brother have not seen each other in so long, I did not want to intrude on your meeting.”
“It would have been no intrusion. It is important to me that you to get to know my family.”
I looked up at him through narrowed eyes. “I have met them before. I am pretty sure they know who I am.” My voice sounded harsher than I had intended. The tension was so strong, it was becoming harder to hide my emotions.
He stared down at me until I looked away. “Yes, but before, you were not my wife. I think that will make a difference. You are part of the Barnali family now.”
There it was again—that push for me to be someone besides who I had always been. I could only nod my head as if in agreement.
“Do you know if I have received any mail? Reagan said I should have gotten a letter from Garrett with an invitation to go to Aisling a month before Session so we can spend time together as a family, but I have not received anything since my arrival.”
I could only spare him a glance. His eagerness to part with me so soon was disheartening. “The mailroom is next to the kitchen. You will have to check there. Father and I usually arrive in Aisling a day or two before the ball. You must speak with him if you want to go earlier without us.”
He came around to the front of my chair and leaned over me, causing me to look up at him. “First of all, I am no longer your father’s prisoner. I will come and go as I please. And secondly, where ever I go, you are coming with me.”
“You are taking me with you to Aisling?” My voice sounded small. I had not meant to sound so weak.
He cupped the side of my face and gently rubbed his thumb across my cheek. “Of course. You are my wife.”
He said it so simply, so matter of fact. How was I supposed to know how he felt if he did not tell me? It was somewhat of a relief to know that I would not be left behind like I had been earlier on this day, but still, I was not convinced that this meeting with his family would not be the demise of our marriage. Rian could never be sure how strong the pull to stay there would be until he was surrounded by them once again.
Before leaving, he gently kissed me on the lips. I had the strongest urge to pull him to me, to prolong the contact until it blossomed into much more. I could never be so brazen. It would remind him that I had a past and might bring up imaginations of things that never existed between me and Brett.
It was a surprise when he returned with two fat envelopes. Rian sat in the lounge beside me and broke the seal on one after placing the other in his lap. I had never seen him looking so happy. What would I have to do to invoke such emotion from my husband?
He eagerly devoured each page before handing them off one by one to me. I began reading them immediately. Thinking about the relationship my parents had shown while in my presence, I had to wonder what they had been like in private. I could not imagine my father sharing the way Rian did with me.
The first pages from King Garrett were full of so much love and emotion. I had never known a man so open with his feelings. The times I had been in this man’s presence, he seemed quiet but kind. I had always envied the relationship he had with his family. Even my mother had not seemed as close to me as he was with his own children.
It was the same with King Reagan and his family, but somehow different. He seemed more drawn to his wife while his relationship with his children was secondary, yet close at the same time. But what did I know of their true feelings? I had lived long enough to know that most people were different in private than they appeared to the outside world.
There was a message from Queen Brianna as well as one from their daughter, Princess Deidre. If I would consider anyone a close friend, it would be Deidre. She was two years my junior, and we only saw each other every six months at Session, but we were always able to pick up our relationship like no time had passed. She had a bubbly personality and everything seemed more exciting with her around.
The second letter was from the castle of Gilvary. Gwen’s words to Rian were personal—still like family, but spoke of a closer relationship than that of her husband’s brother. It almost felt like she was Rian’s mother. Gwen had to be no more than ten years older than Rian, but until reading her matronly words of love to him, she had always seemed more youthful than she was.
Rian interrupted the end of Gwen’s letter. “So, what do you think? Would you like to leave early? The beginning of May is only a few days away.”
Seeing the excitement on his face, there was no way I could deny him. At that moment, I wanted to do anything that would give him such pleasure. I was taken aback by my own feelings. Even as I agreed, I doubted Father would let us go so easily.
King Reagan ended up being the one to broach the subject with Father. He did not ask if we would be allowed to go, he just stated it as a matter of fact, and Father never protested. These two kings had always appeared to get along in the past, but now there was a tangible friction between them.
On the day of King Reagan’s departure, Rian and I saddled up and rode with him to the port where he would board a ship headed to Aisling.
“Are you sure you will not travel by ship when you come?” There was a twinkle in Reagan’s eye—as if he held some secret that the two of us were unaware of.
I studied Rian’s features to try and gauge his reaction. His brow was drawn together as if he were trying to make out the same puzzle as myself, but he never questioned his brother. “After my trip here, I am not eager to be afloat again so soon. I will travel by land. Besides, it will give me a glimpse of Gilvary as we pass through.”
“As you wish. After Session is over, the two of you should come to the castle for a visit. I think you will be interested to see how things have changed since you went away.”
Rian nodded. “We look forward to it.”
The two brothers held on to each other as they said their goodbyes, as if it would be a while before they saw each other again. I waited for the customary nod from the king as I curtsied before him, but Reagan caught me up in a hug instead. The gesture was so unnerving, I was not aware if I even hugged him back.
We would be leaving in three days. As we traveled back home together, Rian spoke with enthusiasm as he anticipated the time we would spend with his family. My own feelings were mixed. I had always loved attending Session because it meant a visit with Deidre and a break from my monotonous life, but I was not sure how to feel about this trip. Deidre was now my niece. Would that make a difference in our relationship? As boring as life was before Rian, at least I had known what to expect and what was expected from me in return. Nothing would ever be the same again.
Father called a meeting the next morning. Kealan Thomas was the only one of father’s advisors in attendance. It was his job to represent Dermot to the other kingdoms. It used to be that all the advisors attended Session, but in recent years, Kealan was the only one who traveled outside of Dermot.
“I have decided not to travel to Aisling.” These unexpected words from Father drew my attention. He was looking at Rian as he spoke. “You and Adrika will attend the meetings in my stead. It will be a good experience in getting you ready to rule. There are no pressing matters as far as we are concerned. Your brothers may have things they want to discuss. Usually, what they want requires money.” Surely, Rian did not miss the roll of Father’s eyes. The imbalance of funds coming in versus what Father was willing to pay out was already a contention. “Just tell them there are no funds available. Kealan is aware of my views on most matters, and he will be there to help guide you. Since you insist on leaving so soon, he will be traveling with you.”
Kealan sat up a little straighter. Rian sat back in his seat and folded his arms across his chest as he continued looking at Father. I had a feeling Rian was forming his words in his mind before he spoke them. To my surprise, my husband simply nodded his head.
Father continued giving instructions. “I would also like to remind you that you are now a representative of me and the kingdom of Dermot. I am your king and your loyalties belong to me, not to your brothers.”
A muscle twitched in the side of Rian’s face as if he were gritting his teeth. My own nerves were stretched taut, fearful of the battle brewing between the two stubborn men.
“I know where my duties lie.” Rian stated through gritted teeth. “There is no need of your reminder. I am sure my brothers know how it will be as well.” His voice never rose to show his obvious anger.
Father nodded his head. “Good. As long as we understand one another, everything should go smoothly. I look forward to hearing a report upon your return.”
Just like that, we were dismissed. It seemed as if there had been some silent struggle between Rian and my father, and I was not sure who had won.