| |
Rian
Taking a deep breath of briny air, I looked out over the blue waters of the Moya Ocean with more contentment than I had felt in a long time. Gentle waves rocked the small boat as I sat between Garrett and Reagan with a fishing pole in hand. The hot sun was directly overhead now. I grabbed the edge of my tunic and peeled it off. The gentle breeze blowing across my skin was a relief.
I glanced over to see Reagan studying my tattoo with a pained look on his face. Was it because I had been branded by a foreign government, or was it something else? He smiled when he noticed me looking at him, but it did not reach his eyes.
“Good idea. It is hot as blazes out here.” Reagan stripped off his tunic and then resumed fishing. There were matching puckers of skin on his chest and back caused by an arrow that had been ordered by our own father. They were a sick reminder every time I saw them of what could have been the ending result.
Since my arrival in Aisling, there had been many discussions about the past. My brothers seemed at ease when they discussed what our father had done, but I inwardly cringed each time my parents were mentioned. If it were up to me, I would block that part of our history so that it was never mentioned or even thought of again.
I turned, sensing movement on the other side of me. Garrett was also stripping his shirt off. The sight of his back caused my heart rate to spike. Ridges of scars crossed his back and shoulders at different angles. It is one thing to hear the tale of how Father had been responsible for the torture and beating of his own son, it was an entirely different feeling to see the evidence still written across Garrett’s skin. I turned away when he caught me staring.
“You know, I hardly ever think about it anymore.” Garrett’s statement was unexpected.
I looked back into his pale green eyes that were so like our mother’s. “I do not see how that could be.”
He shrugged his shoulder. “It happened a long time ago, and I have forgiven him.”
Every time I thought I was over it, the anger would surge forth. I was a long way from that peace reflected in my brother’s eyes. “You make it sound so easy.”
“Trust that it was not. It takes time and willingness. It will not happen overnight. Just keep praying, and God will show you the way.”
Just the day before, Reagan had handed me a couple of journals that had belonged to our father. Reagan had destroyed most of them to keep others from reading the thoughts of the evil man, but said he kept these earlier ones so I could see who my father could have been if he had chosen a different path. He should have burned them all. Coman Barnali did not deserve to be remembered. Yet, there was a sickening desire to devour every word that I could not explain.
“He does not deserve your forgiveness.” I inwardly winced. I should not have said that out loud.
I expected judgement from my pious brother, but Garrett only smiled and placed his hand on my shoulder. An unforeseen comfort radiated through me.
“You are right. He does not deserve forgiveness, but then again, who does? The forgiveness was not for his sake as much as it was for my own healing. I was so bitter toward him and Mother. It was like a disease, eating me up from the inside out. It seeped out into my relationships with Brianna and others. That bitterness came between me and God. I could not even stand my own self. Father may not have deserved my forgiveness, but my family deserved better than my bitterness. I deserved better.”
I shook my head. “I do not understand how you got to the point where you could ever forgive either one of them.”
Garret took a deep breath as he stared down at the fishing pole that was now back in his hands. “I talked about it a lot—sometimes in anger and sometimes with tears. I thought about why they did what they did. Reagan allowed me to read those journals that described their life together at the beginning, before things became so twisted. As hard as it is to understand, Father had allowed his hunger for power to eventually take him over, and with Mother, it was her love for her husband. I suppose things like this can happen to anyone who is not following Christ. I prayed a lot, and one day I was finally able to let it go.”
He turned to look at me then. “The point is, if you ask God to help you, He will guide you down your own path of healing.” He sat quietly for a few minutes as if he were waiting for me to respond, but I had no idea what to say.
Garrett placed his rod behind him in the boat, stood, and dove into the clear, blue water. He swam off into the distance, and I wondered if he needed a moment alone. For some reason that could not be explained, I wanted to believe that he was not as healed as he claimed.
I looked over to catch Reagan staring at me. This was the man who had taken my father’s place after his death. I never remembered him showing the kind of anger and bitterness Garrett had described, the same bitterness that was still eating away at me. “Have you forgiven him too?”
“Yes, but it took me longer than it did Garrett. I thought if I just put it behind me and never thought about the things Father had done, then it would just go away. Things like that have a way of creeping back in on you. I could not seem to get away from it, but I eventually followed in Garrett’s footsteps and feel a lot better about it now.”
I sat there for a few minutes, staring at the sunlight reflected across the surface of the ocean before making the decision to follow Garrett. I stood and looked down at Reagan. “Are you coming in?”
There was a glimpse of something that resembled fear as Reagan looked over the side of the boat. “I do not swim.”
“I can teach you.”
He tapped the boat’s edge with his fingers. “Garrett has already offered, but I like it just fine here in the boat.”
“Suit yourself.” I dove off into the cool water, kicking my feet to go deeper.
Later that evening we paddled out to King’s Island to meet the women. The shore surrounding the castle was studded with large boulders. The only way to maneuver around the protruding land masses was in a small boat and doing so could be quite dangerous during high tide. We pushed to get there before that time.
This was actually my first visit to the island. My brothers and their wives were known to spend time here during the summer months, but the children had never been allowed. From what I could see from the shore, the island was mostly an outcropping of rocks with a sandy beach and a smaller alcove beside it.
The women were already there with a fire going closer to the water. All three of them were wearing short tunic-like dresses that ended just above the knee. Adrika’s shapely tanned legs and bare feet stood in contract to the white sand. My pulse quickened.
Garrett directed us to the rocky ledge on the left of the two beaches next to a boat already tied there. After we anchored our boat, Reagan pulled up our string of fish from the side.
“Reagan, did you catch all of those fish yourself?” Gwen had been stretched out on the sand near the fire. She stood and began walking our way.
“Maybe not all, but most. These two spent a good bit of their time in the water rather than the boat. What would it take for you to clean them for me?”
“You know the drill. You clean them, and I cook them.”
He held the fish out to the side and used his other arm to pull her in for a kiss. Garrett had met Brianna in the middle of the distance between them, kissed her, and then swung her around in his arms. Her laughter rang out across the beach. No one would ever guess the two couples were rulers.
Adrika still stood next to the fire. She smiled up at me as I came near. Her eyes grew large when I pulled her to me. Any affection we shared usually only happened behind the closed doors of our chambers. I knew what kind of relationship I wanted with my wife and it was about time I shared it with her.
She tensed when my lips met hers, but then she melted into me. What was meant to be a quick peck turned into a smoldering kiss that made me forget we were not alone.
“Do not think for a minute that you are going to get out of helping to clean the fish. You can court your bride later.” Reagan’s announcement caused a rosy blush on the face of my wife and laughter from everyone else.
Garrett and I made short work of preparing the fish while Reagan placed a cage-like structure over the fire and helped the women ready everything for our supper. I could hear their laughter intermingled with the sound of the ocean along with the sea birds that had gathered to take care of the remains of the fish. I was still in awe of the fact that I was even here.
Once the meal was over, we all sat next to the fire talking. There was a boldness in the way Adrika caressed my arm. She leaned in to ask if I had enjoyed my day and placed a kiss on my neck just below my ear, igniting my thoughts and my blood.
She had become more relaxed with each passing day. I do not know if it was because she was becoming more at ease with me, or if it was being away from her oppressive father that caused the change. Whatever the case, it had only deepened my feelings for her.
Later, I followed my brothers around the rocky outcropping to the smaller alcove to prepare for the night. We changed clothing out in the open, then took turns using the weather-beaten latrine that had been built at the very back of the alcove.
In our absence, the women had spread bedding down in various parts of the sand at the back the beach near the rocks. Garrett, Reagan, and I settled down in our separate pallets while we waited for the women to take their turn. I could not be sure, but the sound of snoring coming from one of my brothers seemed to intermingle with the sound of the waves hitting the shore.
It had been a long day. I was tired but far from sleepy. My mind replayed everything that had happened this day. I went over the words that had been exchanged with my brothers about our past and my need to forgive our parents. I also relived the comradery we had shared. It was such a wonderful feeling to be back in the presence of my family. I chided myself once again for ever leaving.
My thoughts had turned to Adrika, wondering how she felt about this trip, when the three women rounded the outcropping. They had gathered their gowns above their knees to keep them dry. They stood there drying their legs with toweling. Even in the dark, it was easy for me to distinguish my wife from the other two. Moonlight gleamed off her shapely, wet calves just before she ran the drying cloth over them.
She made her way to me and climbed into the make-shift bed. I curled around her like always, but sleep would not claim me. Adrika seemed restless as well. She turned and snuggled closer to me.
“What is the matter, love, can you not sleep out here in the open?”
Instead of answering, she began kissing me. Neither one of us would get any sleep like this, but I could not pull away. This was the first time since we said our vows that she had ever shown any kind of affection toward me without me initiating the contact. Despite the fact that my brothers and their wives were only feet away on either side, it was a heady feeling that I was not willing to give up.
She leaned up and whispered in my ear. “I missed you.”
I needed to be alone with my wife. I jumped from the bedding, pulling her along with me. We splashed through the briny water to the privacy of the adjacent alcove. I believe it was Reagan’s laughter I heard ringing out across the beach just before we rounded the corner, but it did not bother me in the least.