From “Love, An Index”

T

Tear Gas, it was Labor Day in Colombia. Parades

of people all in yellow. We took the funicular

up to Monserrate, you caught the little boy

trying to pick your pocket. You just teased him.

We walked down the winding path they said

teemed with bandits. No bandits.

On our way to visit the man who sells emeralds

we found ourselves in an alley blocked by riot police.

We turned down another street and I said

What’s that smell? It’s like air freshener—

We have to go, you said. This way. Right now.

Telephone

bill, all those phone calls to Bogotá. I can see

you sitting in the abuelita’s apartment, feet against

the desk, leaning back in your chair and miles

away me, on my side across a made bed,

telephone pressed between pillow and ear, listening

to you talk about the performance artist

who spent all day handing out leaflets downtown.

It took me seven months to pay it off.

mobile, for so long you refused to have one. It had been,

you said, the downfall of your first marriage. But

I had to have one, you insisted. It wasn’t safe for me

to go without. This meant you could always

find me, but not the other way around.

Torrey, Utah, near Capitol Reef. We went to see the petroglyphs,

pioneer graffiti in the slot canyons. In summer

we picked enormous cherries in the public orchards

sizzling with bees. There were always smashed apricots

in the sun-smelling dirt. Plastic bags crackling with fruit.

We stopped at Café Diablo for crispy duck,

salad slippery with wild mushrooms. I miss that,

my love. I miss you.

Tranquility, another thing you gave me that I didn’t have before

and I am losing it again.