to address first, the fact that Calypso told me I am the key to their survival, or the fact that she claims to be my great grandmother. Either way, I find it difficult to form words, my tongue weighing heavy in my mouth. I look at these self-sufficient creatures living in this cave and wonder what they could possibly need me for. They are predators in every sense of the word, from their talon-like claws to their razor sharp teeth. Their speed and agility alone could defeat any human. As I say this to myself, I look down at my own webbed hands realizing it's not they, it's we. I am as much of a predator as they are. I just never knew it. So I decide to go with the issue of ancestry.
"Did you say . . . granddaughter?" Her raptorial smile softens as if I'm as naive as a newborn.
"I have been on this earth a very long time, but yes, you are a descendant of my lineage. My blood runs through your veins. Your mother, and her mother, and hers . . . they all have merblood in their veins. I am your ancestor. Your family."
Family. She has my blood. Or rather, I have hers. And my mother's. As far as I know, my mother is an only child. She never talked much about her parents. They died before I was born. Was my grandmother a mermaid too? Did she know it? Somewhere down Calypso's bloodline, someone must have decided to hide their true identity, allowing for the secret of our lineage to die off. Probably sometime after the Sea Wars ended, and merfolk were being hunted and slaughtered. My ancestors were having children of their own who never knew the truth. Or maybe they knew enough to keep it quiet for the sake of their own survival.
I think of all the ways my parents kept this huge part of my life hidden, and I wonder if they even knew. I wasn't so sheltered because I was heiress to the throne, but because I had something more dangerous in my blood, something even I wouldn't believe.
The look in Calypso's eyes tells me there's more. These sea creatures don’t strike me as sentimental so she wasn't just waiting for me because she wanted to make some memories. She probably couldn't care less that I am her descendant. If she waited for me every month for the past eighteen years, there is a reason. A reason beyond wanting me to know my history. Fear grips my insides like a vice but I ask the question anyways.
"What do you want from me?"
Her dark lips tug at the corner with a smirk, "Clever girl." She knows I'm no fool, believing she has my best interest in mind. "When the Sea Wars had ended, the mermaids discovered they could no longer bare younglings. It took our kind years to discover that we’d been cursed with barrenness. You see, when the Sea Wars ended, a witch from the lands cursed our kind, rendering our species unable to procreate, so we could no longer steal what wasn't ours.
“There is an orb that reveals itself in the sea nights when the violet moon appears, revealing prophecies to the merpeople. Sometimes it warns us of brutal storms, sometimes of newcomers in our midst.” The violet moon, separate from the one we see every night, doesn’t come around often. I’ve only seen a few in my lifetime. My mother said I was born under a violet moon.
“When you were born, the orb revealed itself while I was hunting with a group from my pod and showed a vision of your arrival into the world. It was the first time I had ever witnessed a prophecy of this matter and it is a day I will never forget," she pauses, closing her lids as if remembering back to that day.
"Under a moon of violet hue, the curse will fracture a hair
A child born of the sea will alter fates aware
With merblood in her veins, she will be the only key."
Me. She's talking about me. How can I be the one to break this curse? I don't have strength or power. The only special quality I own is my destiny to the crown. There must be some kind of mistake. If I truly am the one to break the curse, wouldn't I feel it? Wouldn't I have some kind of sixth sense or marking labeling me as such? Or is it really just as simple as my blood and my birth? It all just seems too bizarre to be real.
“She wanted to rid the earth of what humans viewed as evil. Lucky for me, a seed was already planted in my womb.
"A merbaby hasn't been born in years. Mine might have been one of the last. Half-bloods on land have kept our family lineage alive thus far, but a true merchild of the sea . . . I can barely remember their tiny, delicate fins flipping through these waters. " Her emerald eyes fix me in place, swirling with a vengeance that frightens me to my core.
What she claims, about her kind being unable to conceive . . . it's devastating. My aunt from my father’s side struggled with having children for years and it nearly broke her. Even as a child I could see my dear aunt hollowed out with despair.
To think that such alluring creatures could die off and truly someday become just a bedtime story is a tragedy. Despite the predatory and lethal nature of mermaids, there is something beautiful about them. Like Calypso said, they are creatures who live a life so much simpler than humans do, at peace with the earth and with nature. There is a reason mermaids were given the gift to control the water and humans weren’t. Maybe humans couldn't be trusted with controlling a core element. Maybe the Mother knew the overwhelming power of controlling the elements and felt humankind could not handle the weight of that power. Only few creatures are able to wield magic like mermaids, and a witch is one of them. Far and few between, witches are very similar to mermaids as they are born and not made.
"So I ask you, Cealene, will you help restore our species? Will you claim your destiny?" My ancestor's words lure me into a trance. Something about her voice makes me want to please her.
"You only have tonight to decide. When the sun begins to rise above the sea, whatever form you're in, you will remain in until the next Full Celestia, when you will once again have the chance to shift." My heart beats in my chest, banging against its cage like a wild animal. I can feel my fate tilting on its axis as she says the words. I have a choice to make. Do I stay here, beneath the ocean where my soul belongs? Or do I go back home to what I know?
My answer lies in front of me before I even need to contemplate it.
The sea is my soulmate. It always has been. When I am near it, my body sings with rapture, like I am truly alive. Days I would spend under my beloved willow weren't just for the serenity. Her long vines dipped into the seawater below connecting me to her with the life I never knew I needed. The small amount of ocean that crept into the forest, into my sanctuary, carried so much more than just water. It carried life. It carried my destiny, my blood. It carried an essence of me.
A fleeting thought of my parents bursts to the forefront of my mind, giving me a slight pause, but only slight enough to boil my blood with rage for lying to me my entire life. For apparently betrothing me to another without so much as my knowledge of it and for withholding who I really am. My history. The parties they knew I dreaded, all just an elaborate farce to keep me caged in. To keep me in the dark. Well the darkness has finally given way to the light of truth tonight. I look at my ancestor with her mystic tail and a dorsal fin sharp enough to cut diamond and I smile, "I'm in."
After all, she is family.
Stories of mermaids have been told for as long as I can remember. Mostly legends of sea goddesses conquering an armada of ships or falling in love with a human. Everybody knows about the dangerous mythical creatures that once lurked below the sea millennia ago, luring humans to their demise, drowning men with a kiss of death. Some even believe that mermaids were the first humans and that we evolved from merfolk into human form over time.
But now, to call someone a mermaid or a siren would be a grave insult to their character. It is equivalent to calling them evil, slippery, or manipulative. Not something anyone would want to be referred to as. But to think the term once meant something different, something majestic, reminds me how important perspective can be.
After our history lesson, Calypso ordered me to get some rest and I was too overwhelmed to push back. The stone lounges are for anyone, along with woven nets that drape into the water, which is where most of the merfolk sleep. One petite sea maiden with amethyst scales curls up in a classic giant clamshell, like something straight out of a fairytale, while a dark muscled male tucks his tail into a Queen Conch.
Calypso has assured my safety, and the only reason I choose to believe it is because if her stories are to be believed, they need me. Though I do wonder how, exactly, I will be utilized to break this curse. Suspicion stalls in my outright compliance as I wonder what I will need to do. But I try not to think about the fact that I don't have legs or what tomorrow will bring and I let sleep take over. It isn't hard when the exhaustion from the day hits me like a barge.
I wake to a seagull's call echoing throughout the cave and when I lift myself from the stone lounge, I notice Calypso is gone. Her lounge is empty except for an aquamarine gem lying in a small white shell. I grab it with my clawed hand, which is a startling reminder of how much my body has changed and hold it up to the sun ray that shines through the very top of the cave. I watch as the light bends and scatters throughout the damp interior, staining the rock walls with color. Its brilliance reminds me of the stones embedded within the banquet tables in the ballroom at Pearle Castle and I wonder if the sayings are true. If aquamarine is really made from the tears of mermaids.
A dark skinned male with deep maroon scales swims past me, but stops to say, "She left that for you as a thank you for your help."
"Oh." I nod holding the gem in my palm, watching it roll to the creases in my webbed hand. "Here, let me," he takes the gem from my hand and puts it to my now pointed ear.
"Aquamarine stones are a sacred gift when given to someone of our kind." I feel a sharp sting as he anchors it into my ear. "Sorry. We wear them with honor and gratitude." He turns his head to the side to show off the four shiny stones embedded in his pointed ear with surrounding scales. "The scales will grow around it to hold it in place." I touch my jeweled ear and wince at the tenderness. When I pull my hand back down, dark red blood stains my fingertips. "Thank you . . ." I pause, not knowing his name, feeling silly for not asking earlier.
"Okiro." His wide smile is warm and welcoming, and I find myself smiling back.
"Cealene." I press my hand to my chest in greeting.
"It's good to make your acquaintance, Cealene." The handsome male bows and swims off through one of the dark, narrow tunnels. My body slides down the lounge and into the water, coming alive with the invigoration, my skin drinking it in. I dive deep to wash the blood from my ear and feel the gills at my sides begin to move, exchanging saltwater through my ribs. I look around for Calypso, but I don't have to look far.
Below, I find her hunting, and swim closer. Not wanting to startle her prey, I wait at a distance. A giant lobster hides beneath a flat rock as she approaches from above. Slowly, she stalks it. The crustacean's antennae searching, as if it senses danger from above. Before I can even register the movement, Calypso strikes with her claws, pulling it out from beneath the rock, but the lobster's shell is stronger than her talons. It shoots away from her by flicking its tail, swimming further and further from the rock.
Calypso swims past the crustacean and whips her tail into it, slamming it into some nearby rock. The lobster stills and she grabs her prey, tearing it in half. Admiration and astonishment fight for a place in my mind as she lazily swims towards me and hands me the tail. I take it with gratitude and disgust as she swims up to the cave and breaks the surface. I follow behind, wanting to talk further about this curse and how to break it now that I’ve made the decision to stay in this form until the next full moon.
I break the surface and find her on the large platform of the cave, her tail curled around herself as she breaks apart the lobster shell with her bare hands. Tossing my half of the crustacean onto the platform, I haul myself up, using my tail for momentum. I slither near her and tear the white meat from inside, not wanting to appear ungrateful. My mouth waters as I bring the shellfish to my lips, uncertain if it is from nausea or hunger. Either way, I eat the food that has been offered to me and find it to be perfect. Definitely the freshest seafood I've ever eaten.
In the palace, we are no strangers to eating from the sea. From grilled octopus to seaweed salad, I've had it all. But something about eating food that was alive only moments ago gives me pause. Hard for me to admit, but my privileged lifestyle might have something to do with it. Never really knowing hunger like a creature of the wild might.
"I see you received my gift.” She nods towards my pointed ear now bejeweled with the stone.
I caress the point absently. "Yes. It's beautiful. Thank you." My words are heavy with gratitude. There's nothing I want more than to belong here, where my soul feels complete. When I look at her, her smile is soft for the first time since we met. Everything about Calypso screams severe, from her serious predatory stare to her dark tail. Her very essence commands respect and maybe even fear. But that smile softens her face a bit, curving the edges of her severity.
"So, I'm sure you have questions." Questions. Ha. Sure, you could say that. But where to begin?
"You said it’s been prophesied that I have the ability to break this curse of infertility. How? How do I unlock a curse that affects every mermaid in the sea?"
Her eyes crinkle with amusement. "Let's start with something simpler."
Something tells me Calypso is not someone you question, so I hold my tongue for now. I can wait until she deems it's time to relinquish that bit of information. Part of me worries that she won't discuss the curse breaking because it is dangerous or trickier than assumed. The other part of me wonders if Calypso just likes control.
"How about we begin with the history of mermaids. It is important to know your past. Then I will take you around to hunt. Certain places should be avoided due to the dangers that lurk below, or the paths the ships take to and from different ports. You want to steer clear of those." I nod as she tosses the empty shell into the water and I watch as it sinks below, until the darkness swallows it up completely.
"It is said mermaids were created by the goddess of the sea, Aphrodita. She was born from nothing but pale green sea foam frothing on a day when the sun was the highest in the sky. The foam was formed from the cusps of waves, created by sailors passing through. Each tiny bubble that formed the sea foam held a sailor's prayer for safe passage across the waters. It is from these prayers that Aphrodita was created.” She leans forward on the rock and her long silver hair dips into the water, tiny braids sporadic throughout.
“Creating more mercreatures is a bit different.” I stare at her dubiously, wondering if I’m about to get a sex talk from my ancestor.
"It is a female's choice whether she prefers to mate with a human male or a male of our kind. The result of which will be a half-blooded or pure-blooded child. No matter the amount of merblood, the child will always be viewed as one of us and will have the ability to transform their body to accommodate their surroundings."
I watch as the undulating waves in the cave lap onto the rock platform, bathing our tails in saltwater every so often, and I wonder how long one can stay on land before needing the sea again. I don't dare ask as she continues with more information about this life. I'm too hungry for answers.
"As you may have already noticed, we all possess the ability to manipulate water. We can control it easily enough in small amounts, but only the most powerful of merfolk can bend entire waves to their will. Practice can improve your ability, but practice can only take you so far. Mother Nature is the true goddess of our world and can overpower any of our abilities if hard pressed. Even the strongest of us cannot battle against the Mother during a hurricane. So I wouldn't waste time in trying. Everything has its limits."
I follow as she leaves the platform and drops into the water, swimming on her back. We float on the surface, and I watch her glittering tail lazily slap the water as she goes, committing the motions to memory. When we pass others, I can't help but take in their beauty. Each one uniquely alluring in their own way—different shades of scales and skin or hair like silk and eyes that can pierce one's soul. They flutter and flow with such ease, at one with the water.
"Although we are one of the top predators in the ocean, we aren't the only. There are other species as quick as we are. And just as hungry. Always be on alert when swimming outside of our caves. Think like a predator, or you will become prey. If you like your body parts as they are, don't get spotted by humans. And do not get trapped in a net. Stay away from the ships. It's easier that way. We can't afford to lose any more of us." I wonder if my parents have search parties out on the waters, scouring the sea for me. But something tells me they know exactly where I am and what has happened. They know I haven't been kidnapped or taken for ransom. It’s too much of a coincidence that I disappeared on the night of a Full Celestia. They must know I discovered the truth. The timing of my disappearance is too obvious.
Let them worry. They deserve to be kept in the dark for a while, just as I was.
The thought reminds me of the missing posters lying in my room somewhere, abandoned. If only anyone took their absence as seriously as I have. Guilt fills my insides at the thought of my abandonment. In all of the excitement from last night, I didn’t even think of my mission to find the missing women of our island. There is no way I can do them any good from out here. It will be a month before I can even shift onto land again and by then, who knows what will come of them. I make a silent promise to myself that I will not give up on them. I won’t allow this to continue on our island any longer, no matter what life throws my way. Even if it’s a tail.
Calypso takes me through a series of tunnels that run through the caves and then up to the open sea. Miles and miles of blue. We swim through thick sea forests teeming with wildlife that pay us no mind. I follow close behind her, keeping up with her speed. Her onyx tail glistens as the sun’s rays pierce the water. Seahorses bounce around the tall stalks of seaweed and tiny colorful fish dart through the lush reefs. The sea floor is filled with life as we swim by. The abundance of undiscovered territory is intoxicating and my heart feels full with the weight of pure delight. Like I've finally come home.
When we get to another patch of open ocean, she turns towards the sky and swims vertically, her fins dancing as she goes. Her speed picks up as her arms reach above her head, towards the sky. Without pause, she breaks the surface, her entire body leaving the water and disappearing into the air. A moment later, she dives back down into the sea and swims towards me. Unfiltered bliss ripples across her face.
She nods at me to try it like it's now my turn to breach from the water and my stomach flips with excitement. Without hesitation, I swim a little deeper towards the ocean floor, giving myself plenty of space to work with. The sun filters through the clear water, smooth as glass. Unlike the deeper parts of the open ocean that hold a fog to it, its color a deep blue. The water here is light and thin. In the distance, sea turtles ride a current.
I stop and right my position, looking to Calypso. She gives me a nod as a smirk tugs at her lips that says, "Go ahead. Let’s see what you’ve got. Entertain me.”
I pump my tail, undulating as it curves through the water sending me upward, propelling my body higher and higher. I feel loose tendrils of my hair being pulled back through the water, trailing behind me, mimicking my motions. I pick up speed as I near the surface and my blood becomes alive again, pumping lightning through my veins. I leave the water and continue higher, completely breaching into the air. For a moment I'm flying. Weightless. Wind in my face and sun on my skin. I shout with untamed abandon as I arc through the atmosphere and dive into the sea. As I descend towards Calypso, my body sings with bliss, life altering bliss. I look to her with eyes that say, "I could get used to this," and her smile widens in acknowledgement, emerald eyes aglow.
She lets me take a few more shots at it, and each time I push myself to see how high I can get before gravity greedily pulls me back down. My heart is nearly pumping through my chest and I feel like I am on a high that I never want to come down from.
Eventually she pulls me back to reality so she can teach me a few pointers on how to hunt for myself, most of which was allowing my predatory instinct to take over. Once I let go of my human tendencies and really allowed the other animalistic part of me to take over, it came much easier. As if I was shedding a skin to reveal another layer of myself underneath.
Calypso is a beast in the water, relentless and swift. Once her eyes are set on her prey, nothing escapes her. I follow her lead and learn enough to hunt for myself by mimicking her techniques. Pride swells in my chest when I snatch a fish of my own, skewering it with my claws. Knowing I can depend on myself for food and not needing to rely on anyone else is a feeling of freedom and independence I’ve never known before.
Growing up in the palace, things were always readily available for me. I never wanted for anything. Not food or shelter or warmth. Although I was grateful to have them, I think I took the ease of having them for granted. But now, in this form, following my ancestor’s path and learning as they all did, I can’t help but feel elated by the freedom that comes with it.
After hunting for enough food to fill our bellies for the day, Calypso tells me that she will be gone for about a week on an annual hunting trip with a few others from neighboring pods. She tells me to use this time and space to breathe in my own body and to direct any of my questions to the other merfolk of the pod, specifically Marina. Something tells me she's hoping I fall in love enough with this life that I never plan to leave it for land. I can’t say that I’m certain she’ll be wrong. At every turn I am falling more in love with the sea than ever before. For all of the lessons I sit in on at the palace, none of them could have ever taught me this.
We plan to meet back at the caves at dusk, but she leaves me to my own devices for the rest of the day, which leaves me feeling equal parts excited and embarrassed for feeling scared to swim the sea alone. I've been given more freedom by Calypso than in my entire life, and I am only just equipped enough to keep myself fed. She must assume I won’t get myself lost or eaten, but I’m not so sure. I have just barely begun to get the hang of my body. Meanwhile, Calypso said she has a few things to go over to learn how to break this curse. None of which she explained to me in any detail.
Before we part, a few others come to collect her, their tails splashing hurriedly through the waves alerting us that her presence is needed elsewhere. Of the short time I have known my ancestor, it seems that she is the monarch of this pod. Although she has never said it, she doesn’t have to. It shines around her like an aura. Her presence commands respect and I can see that she has earned it every time she enters a space. The others treat her as their leader, confiding in her and alerting her of news. In the short time we’ve spent together, I’ve seen more mermaids and males come to her with one thing or another eager to have her attention.
She mentioned being around quite a long time, which could contribute to her superiority, but it’s something more than that. Her pod admires her in a way that I’ve always strived for when I someday rule. Observing my father lead the islands has taught me that respect is earned and does not last forever. You must constantly continue to earn the admiration and respect of your people in order to keep it.
Once Calypso and her clan leave, their striking flukes the last thing I see, I take in a shaky breath wondering if this ocean is too big for me. In the castle, I was almost never alone, always surrounded by family, staff, and courtiers. But here, without all of the bustle and noise, I suddenly feel very, very small. Overwhelmed by the weight of the prophecy, I dive deep, letting the muffled pressure silence the worry that I have what it takes to free these creatures from this punishment.