the moon, wondering if my mother is doing the same. If she's sitting on her balcony, a glass of red in her hand, as she scours the moon’s face for answers. Something tells me she is. That she is looking at the same moon as I am and wondering about me.
The pit below heats my face to an uncomfortable temperature. If it weren't for the water that surrounds my tail keeping me cool, I might worry for our safety. The yellow and orange glow that swells and bubbles is mesmerizing, like I'm watching liquid fire. Such contrast to the glowing light coming from above. Cool white stars twinkle silently amongst the Full Celestia. An entire cycle has come and gone, leaving another glowing face in the sky. Okiro watches above for when the moon is entirely and truly at its fullest for me to begin. Waiting for its blurred edges to sharpen against the midnight sky. The sound of the waves crashing below lulls me enough to function and keep my wits about me while I wait. Somehow that roaring sound has the power to calm and center me at once. Ring donned and dagger in hand, I practice the words of the incantation in my head, as I have the entire trip here. I've committed it to memory long before we left our waters, but I can't help but recite them once more, as if to rehearse for a performance. A performance to the Mother, to give back the merfolk’s freedom.
The whites of Okiro's eyes glow from the lava below as he nods at me, sending chills down my spine.
This is it. The final act.
I feel Ezera place a feather-light kiss on my bare shoulder before stepping away, giving me space to work. One last time I look up to the Full Celestia and offer up a silent prayer to the Mother, to anyone who's listening. The hilt of the dagger is now warm in my hand from the heat of the lava, creeping up from the shining metal end.
Marina removes my diadem from the braids that held it in place and gently hands it to me. I watch the moons reflection in the many faces of the gems, giving a silent apology to all of the queens that wore this jeweled piece, before tossing it into the molten lava below. As the heirloom leaves my fingertips, my heart tightens at the loss. Without a sound, it disappears into the glowing orange heat, forever lost to the elements. I hold out my arm over the mouth of the volcano, the ring reflecting its many faces as I turn my palm up. Pressing the tip of the dagger to my wrist, I draw a long slow line up to the crook of my arm, the blade slicing like butter. A gasp escapes my lips as pain sears through me, burning white hot, like a shock to my system. I keep the blade steady as I continue on. My blood pours from my arm into the molten lava below, and when the first few drops meet the bubbling orange of the earth’s core I begin reciting the incantation in the unfamiliar tongue of the old language.
As the words flow from my lips, my blood flows into the vast crater. I feel a tug from the ring wrapped around my finger. That familiar hum is strong now, almost as if I can pull on it. Like it is a real living thing connecting me to the moon up above and the earth below. Pebbles dance and the ground beneath us begins to rumble, shaking the entire island. Yellow light shoots up from the depths of the volcano up towards the open sky, and I nearly jolt back from the shock.
I hear a few gasps from the others but I continue reciting the incantation as my blood continues to pour. My body feels charged with something strong, like the magic coursing through, but it feels alive with a buzz of electricity. Something so foreign to me. As the world seems to come alive around me I continue to let the magic work in whatever way it should, knowing an entire species is counting on me. Calypso said everything will begin to settle when the curse is finally broken. That is how I should know it is done. By everything, I see she now referred to the light and the earthquake.
A little notice would have been nice.
My head begins to lighten as the minutes tick by, feeling like enormous trees are growing right from my skull, and I know it's from the blood loss. I know the signs; dizziness, disorientation, pale skin. Sometimes clammy. But in my current state I can't be sure if the same symptoms apply. I pray I have enough blood in me to break this damned curse. I pray it doesn't kill me in the process because—wait.
Liquid life pays the price. The ring. It was trying to tell me the true cost of breaking the curse was my blood. All of my blood.
Even if I wanted to stop now, the magic has its hold on me, and I can’t stop what has already begun. Whatever magic this is has its claws deep in me and it is greedy. It will take all that it needs from me, and now I know how much that is.
Blotches of black and white blur my vision, and I try to blink them away out of instinct. I try to clear my head and keep my wits in check as I begin to shake with fear. I cannot lose consciousness if this is to work. I need to continue reciting the ancient words while the moon and earth are connected by me. I breathe deeply through my nose as I continue the words, but I suddenly feel slack, like a wilting flower in a drought. Marina's warm hands cup my shoulders, stabilizing me physically and mentally, and maybe emotionally too. As soon as her hands connect with my body, I can feel her strength pour into me, giving me life. Bringing me clarity when I can no longer see or hear or even think straight. Magic passes through me at an accelerated rate, causing a disorientation to where I am. Or maybe it's the lack of blood, I can't be sure.
I try to focus on Marina's petite hands resting on my shoulders, giving me something to hang onto as the magic pulls me every which way. But the world around me is muffled now and I can no longer hear my words clearly. I can no longer sense the roar of the waves in the background. For all I know, my voice has become a mere whisper, but still I continue to recite it, even if it's only in my head. All I see is white. Nothing makes sense and I'm not even quite sure I am upright anymore. I'm losing all of my senses. I'm losing control.
Vaguely I hear shouting in the distance but I can't make out what is being said. I try again to focus on Marina's hands, on her connection to me like a fraying rope, but I can barely register it. Too lost in the power of the magic that courses through me. All I see is pain, all I feel is cold. And I think this is it.
This is the end.
This is the part of the curse breaking that Calypso didn't want me to know about. This is why my parents hid this from me. Because they knew, just as Calypso did, that breaking this curse was a death sentence. That breaking this curse would be the beginning of a new life for the merfolk, but the end for me. They must have seen my life diminish in the prophecy. That was the price that needed to be paid. Not just my blood, but my entire being.
My soul.
My life.
Never will I get to see my parents again or Angelina. Never will I take my place on the throne. Never will I know what it's like to truly be with Ezera. Never will I know what it is to become a mother. Never again will I live wild and free.
If my sacrifice gives life to countless others, I will endure. I will accept it as fate. As what I was meant to do.
I attempt to let go of the tether pulling me—
Blackness. Complete and utter blackness. I see nothing. Hear nothing. Feel nothing. But my thoughts do not stop flowing. Like a dream of consciousness. Or subconsciousness. Is this death? Is this what it feels like?
“Cealene.” Ezera’s voice fills the empty space and my heart swells in my chest.
A yellow light dies, and I realize it's from the volcano. I only see shadows and the faint presence of glowing orange. The shaking subsides and someone tugs at my body. Someone grabs my arm and wraps it tightly. I feel small pebbles that littered the mouth of the volcano digging into my flesh, and I begin to understand I’m flat on my back.
Slowly, my senses return one by one. I see the stars above me twinkling, undisturbed by the events of the night. I also see Marina and Ezera hovering over me. Their mouths moving frantically. I feel the spatial awareness of my arms and tail, as if I’ve become whole again. Finally, words begin to form in my mind as I hear them more clearly. Like I've just surfaced from the ocean to hear crystal clear sounds once more.
"Cealene . . . can you hear me?" Ezera's face is aged with worry, like he's been kept awake for days on end. The rims of his reddened eyes glisten with tears.
"She's okay, Ezera. Give her a minute to reorient herself." Marina's voice is a comfort to me when I hear her. "You did everything you can. Just give her time." I try to sit up but Marina pushes my shoulders back down, "Oh no you don't. Stay put." Ezera shifts behind me and cradles me between his outstretched legs as I rest my head on his warm chest.
Once the world dies down and my senses return, silence fills the air. I look around at everyone and—
Fire.
Immense pain floods my senses. My muscles seize and I hear the others drop to the ground. Ezera is shouting my name, grabbing my cheeks. I look at Marina convulsing on the ground but I squeeze my eyes in pain as another wave of fire hits me. It feels as if someone is tearing my tail in two. Pain erodes my ribs, like someone is tearing at my skin. I grip the loose dirt as fire shudders through me, and I see the scales begin to disappear. I watch as the claws retract and my webbing subside. I'm . . . shifting. Into human form.
Ezera hovers over me now, still holding my face in his hands. "Cealene, talk to me. Are you alright?"
"Cealene—" His voice a distance echo through the fire searing through my blood. My tail splits in two and look down to see the damage, almost too afraid to look. I glance at Ezera, who is pale as the moon, eyes like saucers. My fins have turned to sea foam and skin is forming where scales once lived. I begin to feel the sensation of legs once again, after so long without them.
My mind spins searching for answers. Calypso never said anything about the curse breaking any restrictions on transforming. She never even mentioned anything about shifting beyond the moons cycle. But the proof is right here, on this volcano. It's in my inflamed nerves and my sea foam fins. Can we now shift at will? Is the restriction gone?
I sit up once the pain subsides and look around. Marina is curled on her side, Kai crawling towards her on all fours. Each and every one of us with two legs instead of a tail. No gills, no scales, no pointed ears. Immediately I reach up, feeling for the stones, and huff a sigh of relief to know they're still there, and haven't vanished with the rest of my body parts. I look to Ezera, who has grabbed my shoulders in his hands. "Cealene, you're—"
"Human." I whisper in disbelief.