Chapter 48

“I’m bleeding,” Clare whispered, cradling her stomach and swaying in the doorway. “Oh God, I don’t believe it. This can’t be happening… make it stop… I don’t want to lose the baby…” Overwhelmed with shock and grief, she slumped against the wall. Annie caught her.

“OK, come on, let’s get you into bed. Which is your room?”

Helplessly, Clare nodded in the direction of the door at the far end of the landing. Together they made their way slowly toward it. Annie hastily swept the scattered clothes and makeup off the duvet and helped Clare onto the bed.

“Shall I phone the doctor?”

“No.” Clare began to cry. “I don’t want that fat old git prodding me about. I just want the bleeding to stop. Is this a miscarriage?” She raised anguished eyes to Annie. “What should I be doing? Is there any way to stop it?”

“Let me call the doctor.” Annie straightened up, but Clare’s hand gripped her wrist.

“Don’t leave me. Please don’t leave me on my own. I’m sorry I was so horrible to you. But… I’m so scared. I don’t want to lose my baby.” Tears rolled down her cheeks and her face crumpled. “This isn’t fair, it’s n-not f-f-fair. Just when I’d got used to the idea of a baby… it’s like being punished for not being thrilled in the first place.”

Having finally managed to extricate herself, Annie was back moments later with the phone. The doctor’s answering service put her through to NHS Direct. The adviser at the other end told her to keep Clare in bed and continue to monitor the situation. Tomorrow morning she should see her doctor. Basically, there was nothing else that could be done in cases of early miscarriage. If it was going to happen, it would.

“Oh God.” Clare groaned, sinking back into the pillows in despair.

“Is the pain bad?” Annie hated feeling so helpless.

“Not really. Just cramps, like ordinary period pains. I just can’t believe it. Three weeks ago I was crying because I didn’t want to be pregnant.” Clare wiped her eyes with the corner of the dark blue duvet. “And now here I am, crying because I don’t want to lose it.”

Feeling sorry for Clare had until tonight been something Annie would have put on a par with bumping into Elvis in Walmart. Now, she simply gathered the girl into her arms and let her sob.

“I have to go to the bathroom again,” Clare gulped, some time later. “I need a… a pad of some kind. All I’ve got is loo roll stuffed in my knickers.”

Annie jumped up. “Where do you keep them? In the chest of drawers over there?”

“I’ve only got T-T-Tampax.”

“There’s a spare in my bag downstairs. Let me go and get it.”

When Annie came back, Clare managed a tremulous half smile. “Thanks. You’re being really kind.”

Annie smiled back. “It’s only a pad.”

“You know what I’m talking about. I’ve been such a cow. I didn’t want you taking Dad away from us, and I didn’t want anyone trying to be our stepmother.”

“I wasn’t actually planning on doing either of those things,” said Annie.

“Well, I’m sorry.”

A lump rose in Annie’s throat. As if sensing it, Clare pulled a face. “God, this is in danger of turning into The Waltons.”

“I used to love that program.”

Wryly, Clare said, “Except in The Waltons, Mary-Beth doesn’t get pregnant.”

“That’ll be your dad.” Annie rose to her feet as the front door slammed downstairs. “Let me speak to him.”

Two minutes later James burst into the bedroom, his face white and strained. Hugging Clare, he said, “Oh, sweetheart. I’m so sorry.”

“Why me, Dad?” Clare was by this time exhausted from crying, but over the worst of the shock. It was happening and there was nothing she could do to stop it. She just wished she could get the irrational thought out of her mind that the baby had decided it didn’t want her as its mother.

“These things happen. You didn’t do anything wrong. It just wasn’t meant to be,” said James.

“I know.” Deep down, she did know that. “Dad? Annie’s been really great.”

“She is really great.” James stroked his daughter’s tousled hair.

“Where is she now?”

“In the kitchen. Getting dinner ready.”

Clare nodded. “When you’ve finished eating, could she come up here and sit with me?”

“Of course she will, if that’s what you want.”

It seemed almost sacrilegious, but Clare realized she was hungry. Adjusting her pillows, she said, “And if there’s any to spare, I wouldn’t mind a steak sandwich.”

***

There was a good atmosphere in the Comedy Club; several of the acts had gone down a storm and even Josh had earned himself tumultuous applause and requests for an encore. But, although she couldn’t put her finger on it, Nadia sensed a change in Suzette. Before, they had hit it off instantly. Tonight, however, she appeared to be holding back, making excuses not to join in with the rest of the crowd. Rather than enjoying the evening, she gave the impression of someone in a dentist’s waiting room about to have a couple of wisdom teeth yanked out.

Every time Nadia caught her eye, Suzette hastily averted her gaze. It was most odd and rather unsettling, almost as if she felt guilty about something. But what reason could she possibly have to feel guilty? If Laurie had flirted with her over dinner, she would have told them—that had been the whole purpose of the ploy. And if he had, then what possible reason could there be for Suzette to cover up for him?

It made no sense, Nadia thought. She was doubting Laurie again, letting her imagination run away with her. As Josh headed to the bar, she took the opportunity to slide into his seat next to Suzette.

“Hi.”

“Oh, hi.” Suzette’s knuckles tightened around her drink.

“Are you OK?” said Nadia. “It’s just that you seem a bit… I don’t know… on edge.”

“No. I’m fine.” Her voice was high. “Honestly.”

“Look, is it something to do with Laurie? Because if there’s anything you feel you should tell me—”

“Actually, I’m not fine,” Suzette blurted out. “I’ve got a raging headache and I feel terrible. Right here.” She pressed her hand against her forehead and briefly closed her eyes. “Really, it’s nothing to do with Laurie. I’ve been hoping it’ll go away but it just won’t. I think I’d better go home.”

Nadia watched her rise jerkily to her feet. “D’you need a lift or—”

“No, no, I’ve got my car. I’m just going to slip away. A good night’s sleep and it’ll be gone in the morning… Bye.”

Janey came back from the loo. “Where’s Suze?”

“Gone home. Headache,” said Nadia with a shrug.

“Headache? She didn’t mention it before.”

“Maybe she was just tired.” Frowning, Nadia said, “Did she ever say anything about Laurie?”

Mystified, Janey’s eyes widened. “No. Like what?”

“Well, I wonder if Laurie said or did something that she hasn’t told me about.”

“You mean he might have told her you’ve got a backside as big as a sofa? Ow,” giggled Janey, fending off a flying beer coaster. “Come on, give the boy a break. You checked Laurie out and he passed with flying colors.”

Nadia gazed thoughtfully at the door through which Suzette had exited and wondered why she wasn’t convinced.