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SARAH JANE GESTURED to Laughing Dog that she wanted to speak with him and he kneed his pony toward her.
It was obvious that he was leaving, heading for Shady more that forty miles away.
“I want you to buy me some ribbons.” She said to the young man whose dark eyes studied her curiously.
Sarah had become friends with many of the Indians who called the mission their home. She enjoyed learning about them and their way of life.
“You do not need ribbons,” Laughing Dog said seriously.
“No but I won’t have a chance to get anymore for a long time.” She handed him a few pennies. “Anything left over is for you,” she said. “Just get me two yellow ribbons.”
Laughing Dog raised an eyebrow but nodded, slipping the pennies into a hidden pocket in his heavy woolen shirt.
“I will see you in three days,” he said, casting a glance behind him at Morning Star, the young woman who was now studiously wringing out garments, to hang on a line.
Sarah Jane smiled. Would the man ever get around to letting the wash woman know how he felt about her?
“Be safe,” she said looking up at Laughing Dog again. “I know we all want to see you back here soon.”
The brave nodded once more then kicked his mount into a trot, quickly disappearing around the church building as he followed the trail toward town.
Sarah Jane stood for moment thinking. She’d seen Titus looking at her while she talked to the young brave.
She’d wanted to smile at him, to help him remember they were friends, but he had turned away without even a smile.
It was obvious that Titus was trying to work through his thoughts and feelings, but she was beginning to understand her own all too well.
From the moment her father and brothers had brought Titus into their home, she’d felt a connection to him. She couldn’t quiet place it, but it was there always drawing her toward him.
At first she had believed it was fear for his recovery. He’d been unconscious so long she feared that he might never revive, but then he’d awoken and the connect seemed to shift, change into something new.
After Sarah Jane’s mother had fixed the young man’s shoulder and tended his wounds she had instructed Sarah Jane to sit with him, watching for delirium or signs of fever.
Sarah Jane had sat by Titus’s bed side for hours studying his face; learning every line and nuance.
She’d memorized the way he looked, the way his lashes rested on his cheeks when he slept or the way his hair fell over his forehead in a dark wing.
Perhaps it wasn’t love that she felt for Titus -whose name had been lost to him- but there was something deep and meaningful growing, even if he couldn’t see it yet.
Shaking her head to clear her thoughts Sarah Jane began to make her way back home, a secret smile painting her lips.
Perhaps in time Titus would understand that even without a name, he was a man that someone could care for. She chuckled softly, just like she hoped in time Laughing Dog would be bold enough to give Morning Star a gift that came from the heart.
Pulling her shawl tight around her shoulders, she turned her face toward the sun dreaming of warmer days and a new home in Biders Clump.
Moving hadn’t been something that she had wanted to do when her father told her that he was selling up and moving to the town his brother called home.
She’d had friends back home, and a place that was familiar, comfortable.
Now she couldn’t imagine not having gone. Even with the troubles they’d had on the trail, she’d seen such wonderful things and met such amazing people.
The mission, a haven in a storm for so many was like stepping out of the real world into something unearthly.
Isolated and quiet the little valley had been exactly what her family had needed. They’d found safety, and she had learned so much about the native peoples of the country.
Sarah Jane tugged at her shawl once more. She’d fallen in love with the simple black and white pattern the moment she’d laid eye on it. Not only was it practical, it was beautiful.
“Sarah Jane is that you?” her mother’s voice carried from the kitchen into the main room and Sarah smiled.
“Yes mother,” she replied, hanging her shawl on a peg and heading for the kitchen. Even the simple act of cooking in a house instead over an open fire had been a joy to her.
“Where have you been?” her mother asked. “I’m making a venison roast and wanted some vegetables.”
“I’ll fetch them now,” Sarah Jane said. “I went out to speak with Mr. Titus and catch Laughing Dog before he left.”
“Oh is that who’s going to Shady?”
“Yes, he just left.”
“What did you want to see him for?” her mother asked.
“I wanted to have him pick me up two yellow ribbons.”
Molly Bentley turned to study her daughter. “Sarah Jane, yellow is a terrible color on you, and you know it.”
“I do,” Sarah Jane replied simply, smiling as she stepped back outside and headed for the straw-pile where the root vegetables were stored for the winter.
“Sarah Jane Bentley, you’re up to something as sure as I’m standing here,” Molly Bentley said shaking the knife in her hand as her daughter stepped back into the kitchen.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about mother,” Sarah Jane said hiding her smile.
Molly shook her head. “You can pretend all you want, but I can tell,” she said. “I’m just glad you’re such a kind hearted young woman, or I’d be worried.”
“Mama, you know I wouldn’t want to worry you. The boys do that well enough on their own.”
Molly smiled shaking her head as she finished chopping the onion she’d been working on and tossing it into the pan making it sizzle and pop. “Those boys will give me gray hair for sure.”
Sarah Jane laughed, “Mama you already have gray hairs.”
“Yes, but the way the twins get themselves into trouble three times a day I’ll be stark white by the time we get to Biders Clump.”
“Where are they now?” Sarah Jane asked, “I thought they needed to do their studies.”
“I decided that since Father John can stand them, and since they’re already learning something from him that we’ll skip the other lessons today.”
“In other words you were happy to have a day of peace.”
“Exactly,” Molly said with a laugh.
Sarah Jane washed then peeled the vegetables for her mother dropping them into the pan with the roast that was being browned on all sides.
“Give me the salt,” Molly called and Sarah hurried to hand the salt cellar to her, “and how is Mr. Titus today by the way.” She finished studying her daughter’s reaction with care.
“He seems troubled,” Sarah Jane replied honestly. “I think he worries too much about where he came from. Whatever he was in his past, he’s shown himself to be an honorable and decent man now.”
“That’s true,” Molly said, “but it must be trying to not know where you came from, who your people are, or what you’ve done.”
Sarah Jane was quiet for so long that her mother turned to look at her a knowing gleam in her eye.
“I think...” Sarah Jane began, “I think that if it were me, I’d want to know about my past, but I wouldn’t give up living over it. You have to live today where you are.”
Molly smiled. “That makes sense in your head, but what’s in your heart isn’t so easy.”
“You mean wondering if you’d left a family who needed you or something like that?”
“Yes, how would you feel if you were like Titus and then one day you found out you had your pa and me and the boys waiting and worrying over you?”
“So you think that Titus will never really know peace until he’s found out who he was?”
“He might be able to move on better with his life if he does that yes.”
Sarah Jane nodded thinking over what her mother had said and wondering what she could do to help the young man find his past.
Traveling to your future with knowledge of who you are would be easier, but she didn’t even know where to start. She only knew that something was telling her that she needed Titus in her future.
