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THE NEXT FEW WEEKS of winter flew by, and the harder Titus tried to deny his feelings for Sarah Jane the more they grew.
Each morning or evening he found himself walking with her to or from some space within the village. Whether it were to collect eggs, pick up bread from the bakery, or simply follow her home when she came to inform him that a meal was ready. He looked forward to each moment.
He even accompanied Sarah Jane and her family to the weddings of Laughing Dog to Morning Stars and Blundering Bear to Mama Peaks. The latter of which caught everyone by surprise except the two boys who had helped with the poem.
It was while watching the people of the mission drawn together by the joyous occasions that Titus knew that he was falling for Sarah Jane.
Sadly, he knew there was nothing he could offer the young woman, and he would need to guard his heart if they were both to survive their time together unscathed.
“You’re always too serious,” Sarah Jane chided as they walked back from the bakery each clutching a hot loaf of bread.
“I guess I do get stuck in my own thoughts sometimes,” Titus admitted.
“Pretty soon it will just be us.”
Titus turned looking at the young woman stunned.
Sarah Jane smiled, “I mean my family,” she corrected with a blush.
“I see what you mean,” Titus agreed. “I guess I’ll have to do better and pay attention to what’s going on around me.”
Sarah Jane laughed, “yes or you might find yourself tumbling down another hill.”
It was this easy going banter that added to the way Titus felt about Sarah Jane. He’d come to respect her, and care for her.
“Sarah Jane,” he started surprising her with the use of her given name. “I’m,” he paused thinking. “I’m glad to know you.”
Sarah Jane stopped placing her hand on his arm. “I think we were meant to meet Titus,” she said, “and no matter how things go in this world I believe we’ll be forever linked.”
Titus ducked his head embarrassed that he’d spoken his mind, but the look in Sarah Jane’s eyes went straight to his heart.
Smiling he tucked her hand in the crook of his arm and moved on toward home.
***
SPRING WAS BARELY A promise when the Bentley’s pulled out of the valley with many sad goodbyes.
The little village had become a respite from the troubles of the world, but now it was time to move on and find their new home.
Titus saddled up the mule and his horse, and told the boys to climb up on Buster for the start of the ride.
He was pretty sure the old mule wouldn’t mind the boy’s shenanigans and watching them trot him up along the wagon as it pulled out brought a glimpse of something familiar; the shadow of a memory of boys bouncing along on the old brown mule’s back.
Shaking his head he swung into the saddle of his horse and headed along the trail.
The Indians had told them of a pass that crossed below the southern pass of the Oregon Trail explaining how to find it.
It was a little more rugged than the better know trail but would bring them in below the mountains where the little town of Biders Clump lay.
Titus, determined to see to it that the family made their way safely to the little town with the strange name, would scout ahead.
They’d been on the trail when to his surprise Sarah Jane rode up next to him sitting on his mule.
“I need to talk to you,” the girl said making him pull his horse to a stop as she came along side.
“What about?” he asked, taking in the way she sat the old mule with confidence.
“Us,” she stated flatly.
“Us?” Titus blinked. He’d been careful not to let his feelings for the young woman show, but apparently he hadn’t done a very good job.
“Yes us,” Sarah Jane said her voice full of determination.
“Titus you and I have been dancing around each other almost from the moment you arrived at the valley,” she began wagging a finger at him to let him know she wasn’t finished.
“From the minute I laid eyes on you I felt something. I didn’t understand what it was at the time, but since that day it has only grown until I recognize it now.”
Titus opened his mouth to speak to head her off but she waved her hand stopping him.
“Titus, I care for you, and I’m pretty sure you care for me. I see the way you sneak glances at me over the table or how sometimes when I’m busy doing something you stop and watch me. I think we’re both being ridiculous pretending that there isn’t something between us.”
Titus sat staring at her not sure what to say, or if he’d be allowed to say it if he knew.
“Well?” Sarah Jane finally asked.
“I,” he said the word tumbling out and sticking in the air. “I have nothing to offer you,” he stated.
“What do you think I need?”
“A house, a home, a name,” Titus said bitterly.
“Why, when all I want is you? Why can’t that be enough? You and me,” she said emphasizing her words by pointing at him then at her heart.
“I don’t even know who I am,” Titus hissed anger, frustration, and sorrow welling up in his chest. “I could be an outlaw, a thief, a cattle rustler.”
“And you could be a good, honest, decent man who has lost his memory, but not the truth of his heart.”
Titus shook his head. “I have nothing to give you Sarah Jane,” he insisted.
Sarah Jane pushed the mule close to its stable mate and leaned into Titus placing her hand over his heart as tears swam in her eyes. “You have this,” she said. “This is all I want.” She finished thumping him on the chest before wheeling the mule and galloping away.
Titus watched her ride away, his heart breaking as he knew she could never be his.
