Ten

Sarah tried the scale for the tenth time.

“Have you been practicing?” Michaela asked.

“Well. . .”

“Sarah, if you don’t practice, I can’t teach you anything. You have to practice.”

“The other kids are always on the piano.”

Michaela felt her patience waning. “I happen to know that your father worked out a time schedule so each of you have at least thirty minutes a day.”

“Yes, but. . .”

“Sarah, you have to practice.”

“Then I’ll be able to play as good as you?”

Michaela decided to use a new approach. “Can I tell you a secret?”

Sarah leaned forward, her face lit with a grin.

“God has gifted you with a talent in music that far exceeds my own. Not only do you have a beautiful voice, but you have talent to play the piano as well.”

Sarah pulled back, looking doubtful at Michaela’s assessment. “Do you really think so?”

Michaela nodded. “I know it’s true. But even someone as talented as you are has to practice.”

Someone yelled outside, and Michaela and Sarah hurried to the window. Eric and the boys were running in circles around the front yard, chasing the chickens.

“The chickens are loose!” Ruby ran outside, whooping in delight.

Michaela steered Sarah back to the piano. “We’d better get back to our lesson.”

Fifteen minutes later, the front door slammed. Eric stomped into the house, followed by the boys.

“Someone left the gate open to the chicken coop.” Eric flopped down in a chair and started taking off his boots. “Do you know how difficult it is to catch over thirty chickens?”

“I saw how difficult it is.” Michaela stifled a laugh.

Eric didn’t smile. “Does anyone know who left the gate to the chicken coop open?”

By now all the children had gathered in the room, but Eric’s focus was on Sarah and Ruby. If Michaela remembered correctly, it was their responsibility to gather the eggs each day and feed the chickens.

“I’m sure we shut the gate.” Sarah nudged Ruby with her elbow.

“Did you latch it?” Eric leaned forward and rested his elbows against his thighs.

The girls looked at each other and squirmed in their chairs.

“The animals are part of our livelihood.” Eric pulled off his other boot and set it beside him. “You may think it’s humorous to watch your father run circles around a bunch of squawking chickens, but I don’t.”

Several of the children let out quiet chuckles. Michaela bit her lip, trying not to laugh. Eric’s gaze swept the room, then stopped at Michaela.

“Looks like we’re even,” she said with a grin.

Eric raised his brows in question.

“Have you forgotten the day I fell in the mud? I seem to recall at least one person who couldn’t keep a straight face.”

The sides of Eric’s mouth slowly curled into a grin as he shrugged in defeat. He turned to Ruby and Sarah. “I guess I owe you an apology. I had a frustrating morning in town, and I shouldn’t take it out on you. I’m sorry.”

The girls ran to give their father a hug, and Eric kept an arm wrapped around each of them. “But that doesn’t excuse the fact that you weren’t careful. From now on, please make sure you latch the gate so this doesn’t happen again.”

Two heads bobbed in unison.

Eric turned to his oldest daughter. “How long until dinner, Rebecca?”

“Ten minutes.”

“Good, because I, for one, worked up quite an appetite.”

“Can Mrs. Macintosh join us for dinner, Father?” Sarah asked.

“You’ll have to ask her.”

“Will you stay?” Ruby ran and jumped into Michaela’s lap.

Michaela pulled the young girl close and nuzzled her chin against the top of her head, breathing in the familiar scent of lavender. “How could I refuse? Daniel and Emma’s dinner’s on the stove, and I’ve been wanting some more of Rebecca’s excellent cooking.”

Rebecca blushed and headed into the kitchen.

Eric carried his boots toward the front door. “Everyone needs to get washed up.”

Michaela went into the kitchen to help Rebecca with dinner. “What can I do to help?”

“The bread still needs to be sliced.”

Michaela cut the fresh loaf of bread into thick pieces while the children began to trickle in and take their places at the table.

“Smells delicious.” Eric entered the room and kissed his oldest daughter on her forehead. “Nothing like a roast with vegetables.”

After Michaela finished helping Rebecca serve the meal, Eric pulled back the empty chair beside him and motioned for her to sit. “As our guest, you’re working too hard, Michaela.”

Michaela slid into the chair and glanced around the long table at the children who had, in such a short time, become an integral part of her life. Eric led the family in a prayer, which was followed by echoes of “amen” around the table.

“This meal is wonderful, Rebecca.” Eric put a large spoonful of vegetables on his plate.

Rebecca smiled, obviously pleased with her father’s compliment. “Sarah and Ruby planned to ask you to stay for dinner, Mrs. Macintosh, so I tried to fix something extra special.”

“I’m honored to be here.” Michaela spread homemade jam over a thick slice of bread. Besides the roast and bread, there were mashed potatoes, green beans, and apple cobbler for dessert.

Michaela took another bite of her roast and listened to the children’s laughter as they shared what had happened throughout the school week. The animated conversation centered on school and the upcoming Christmas holiday, and she found herself enjoying the lively banter between Eric and his children.

After a short lull in the conversation, Eric turned to Michaela. “I’ve never asked you what you think of our house.”

She waved her hand in the air. “It’s beautiful. The girls gave me a tour a few weeks ago. They told me you built it yourself.”

Eric set his fork on his plate and chuckled. “It’s become one of those never-ending projects. We started off small, but with each child, we needed a bit more room and thus added on every few years.”

“Tell us about Boston.” Sarah leaned forward expectantly.

Michaela wiped the corners of her mouth with a napkin, then set the cloth in her lap. “My aunt and I live on the outskirts of the city, not far from the ocean.”

Sarah’s eyes widened. “I’ve never seen the ocean! What’s it like?”

Michaela smiled at Sarah’s innocent wonder. “It’s hard to describe, it’s so vast. As far as you can see, the blues and greens of the ocean spread out before you—wave after wave making its way toward the shore.”

“What about the city?” Samuel spoke for the first time.

“Boston is full of people, businesses, and crowded streets. There are so many stores and restaurants, you can easily get lost if you don’t know your way around. There are also museums, art galleries, and a university.”

“Sounds wonderful.” Samuel squirmed in his chair, excitement mounting in his voice. “Someday I want to go back East for school.”

“Samuel wants to be a doctor,” Eric said, the pride obvious in his voice.

“I’m sure you’ll make a fine doctor.”

“What do you do in Boston?” Ruby asked.

Michaela played with the linen napkin in her hands. “Before my husband died, I worked with him. He and his brother owned a cabinetmaking shop.”

“Is it a big factory?” Samuel asked.

Michaela nodded. “There are about a dozen men who work there, plus a showroom where they sell the furniture. My job was to keep up the books.”

“But you don’t do that anymore?” Sarah asked.

Michaela shook her head. “Lately I’ve been teaching piano lessons. It’s something I’ve always wanted to do.”

“And now you teach us.” Ruby grinned and turned to whisper something in Sarah’s ear.

“Girls,” Eric said, “if there is something you need to say, say it so the rest of us can hear you.”

They giggled, then looked at Michaela.

“Girls. . . ,” their father prompted again.

“We were wondering,” Sarah began. “Could we have a sing-along this afternoon?”

“Yes.” Ruby’s head bobbed up and down. “You could play the piano and the rest of us could sing.”

“That would be fun.” Rebecca stood and began clearing the dishes.

“Only if Michaela agrees.” Eric turned to her, and by his expression, he seemed pleased with the idea. “We haven’t done that for quite a long time.”

“Sounds like fun.” Michaela smiled but inwardly fought a wave of sadness. Sitting at the table with Eric and his children, she suddenly realized how familiar her presence in this house had become—and how at ease she felt. She wouldn’t be here to be a part of Rebecca’s courtship or Adam’s upcoming graduation. She swallowed hard. And then there was Eric.

Eric’s voice stopped her thoughts from wandering to a place she was afraid to go. “I need all of you to help Rebecca clean up the kitchen. I need to take care of something outside, then I’ll be in.”

Michaela joined in the familiar task of drying dishes. Sarah and Matt put them in their right places, and before long the kitchen was in order, ready for the next meal. As soon as they were done, Sarah and Ruby begged to be allowed to show Michaela the new litter of puppies in the barn.

“Pa’s not back yet,” Sarah pleaded. “Can we, please?”

Rebecca nodded her head. “Just don’t be long.”

Michaela followed the girls outside to the barn, where she was introduced to Sarah’s brood of animals.

“She’s adorable.” Michaela took the puppy Ruby handed her and was greeted with a face full of wet kisses. The puppy couldn’t have been more than a few weeks old.

“And this is Red,” Ruby announced, petting an older dog.

Michaela was then introduced to five cats, Pinky the pig, and Beaker, Sarah’s favorite chicken. She was campaigning so it wouldn’t end up on the dinner table.

After a few minutes, they stepped back outside and into the bright sunshine, with Red still jumping and barking around them.

On the way back to the house, Sarah pointed to their garden, freshly tilled for the winter months.

“The garden is our job.” Ruby puckered up her nose.

“We have to make sure there are no weeds,” Sarah added.

“Running a farm takes a lot of work,” Michaela said to the girls.

“Most of the time it’s fun,” Sarah jabbered. “There’s harvesttime when all the people in the area get together for a big celebration, swimming in the summer, horseback riding, and best of all, Christmas is coming.”

“Christmas was always one of my favorite times of the year.” Michaela felt a rush of emotion. “I always loved the lights and the trees decorated so beautifully. My mother and I used to make gingerbread men and frosted sugar cookies.”

Ruby stopped and looked up into Michaela’s eyes. “If you like Christmas, then why does your face look so sad?”

Michaela took a deep breath, wishing her feelings weren’t so transparent. She ruffled Ruby’s hair. “I had a little girl who would have been about your age. She and her daddy died in a fire on Christmas Eve.”

Ruby’s eyes narrowed. “Then this Christmas, maybe we can help make you happy again.”

Michaela smiled as each of the girls took one of her hands, seemingly trying to comfort her.

“Our mother died when I was born,” Ruby said as the three of them slowly walked back to the house together. A gentle wind blew, rustling the leaves in the trees. “Father’s always sad on my birthday.”

“I know she loved you.” Michaela knelt down and faced Ruby. “For nine months, she carried you inside of her and dreamed about what you would look like, what you would become someday.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

They were silent for a moment until Sarah spoke again. “We’d better go back to the house. I just saw Father go inside. It’s time for the sing-along.”

❧

Michaela ran her limber fingers across the keys, enjoying a final chorus. Her high soprano voice and Eric’s deep bass blended with the children’s voices, which rang with energy and enthusiasm. Even the boys, who hadn’t seemed excited about the idea, looked as if they were enjoying the singing.

“It’s going to be dark before long.” Eric slapped his hands against his thighs and pulled Ruby against his side. “This has been wonderful, Michaela. Thank you.”

There were groans of protest from the children until they saw their father’s stern look, reminding them he meant what he said. “I’ll be happy to take you home, Michaela.”

“You don’t have to do that.” Michaela stretched out her fingers, then tilted her head from side to side to loosen some of the muscles in her neck.

“It’s no problem at all.” Eric grabbed his coat from the hook beside the door. “Honey can follow behind the wagon.”

“All right then.” Michaela put on her coat and said good-bye to the children before following him outside.

“It’s beautiful out tonight.” Sitting next to Eric in the wagon, Michaela watched as the last sliver of sun sank into the horizon. “I remember sunrises with my grandfather. We would sit on one of the rocks along the beach until the sun made its appearance over the ocean.”

“I miss the ocean.” There was a wistful tone to Eric’s voice. “It used to be one of my favorite places. Someday I want to take the children to the coast and show them the ocean.”

“They’d love that.” Michaela’s spirits brightened at the idea. “Come to Boston. I’ll be there and can show them around.”

They rode in silence for a moment as a mass of stars took their places with the full moon in the sky.

After a few minutes, Eric spoke. “How long do you plan to stay in Cranton?”

“I’ll go back to Boston after the baby is born and Emma’s back on her feet. Probably just a few more weeks now.” The slight tug of disappointment returned.

“What do you want to do when you go back?”

“I’ll continue teaching piano for a while—”

He shook his head. “That’s not what I mean.”

She turned and looked at him, her brows raised in question. “What do you mean?”

“I know it’s really none of my business, but while you seem so good at taking care of others, I wondered what your dreams are.”

It was something she’d never thought about. Two years ago, she’d known exactly what she wanted. She loved being a mother and a wife. But all of that had changed. How could she even begin to understand what she wanted out of life?

When she didn’t answer, Eric gently slapped the reins, his gaze seemingly lost in the distant horizon. “After my wife died, I felt so out of control. All my time and energy went into working the farm and caring for the children—until finally I realized if I didn’t take care of myself, both emotionally and spiritually, I wouldn’t be able to do anything after a while. All I want to say is that it’s all right to think about what your own needs are.”

The words seemed to pierce straight through her soul. She regularly turned to God, full of requests and needs, but wasn’t there supposed to be so much more to her relationship with her heavenly Father? When was the last time she’d studied her Bible? What about times of worship and adoration? She suddenly realized how empty she was spiritually. Could the fact that she’d been neglecting her relationship with God be the reason she felt both spiritually and emotionally drained? It seemed so simple, but somehow she’d missed it.

“ ‘O come, let us worship and bow down: let us kneel before the Lord our maker.’ ” Michaela spoke the words from the Bible aloud, barely more than a whisper.

Eric must have heard her quiet voice. “One of David’s psalms?”

Michaela nodded and clasped her hands in front of her. “You know, you’re right. I’ve been so busy trying to stay busy, it seems my prayers have become nothing more than one-sided requests when I’m hurting or needing something. I can’t remember the last time my heart was full of praise and worship.”

Eric slowed the horses as they came to the top of a slight ridge and started down the other side. “That’s an essential part of our relationship with Christ and in our healing.”

Michaela unfolded her hands and played with the folds of her skirt. A light snow had begun to fall. She watched a flake land on the material, then slowly melt. “It’s still so hard. I want to forget the past, and I’m good at staying busy so there isn’t time to think. Losing Ethen and Leah was the hardest thing that ever happened to me.”

“Psalm 47 says, ‘He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.’ ”

Daniel and Emma’s frame house appeared in the distance. In the past few months, it had become a haven of safety for her, but she had neglected to let Christ be her true refuge. Eric had reminded her of something she’d ignored in her life, and she knew she couldn’t just leave it at that.

Eric stopped the horses in front of the house. “I really enjoyed spending the afternoon with you.”

“Thank you for such a wonderful afternoon, Eric.”

Eric jumped down from the wagon and hurried to the other side, where he helped Michaela down. As her foot hit the ground, she lost her balance and fell against Eric’s chest. She looked up into his eyes, and before she knew what was happening, his lips met hers.

For a moment, she felt herself responding.

“No!” She pushed herself away, still feeling the burning sensation on her lips.

“I’m sorry.” Eric looked down at her. “I didn’t plan to kiss you, Michaela. It just seemed so natural.”

“It’s not that; it’s just. . .”

Questions flashed through her mind as she tried to stop the panic rising in her throat. What about Philip? She started to slowly back away from Eric.

“Wait, Michaela.” Eric gently brushed a snowflake off the end of her nose. “Tell me the truth, Michaela. Is it just me, or do you feel something as well?”

Michaela took a deep breath, trying desperately to make sense out of her jumbled emotions. She knew she felt a strong physical attraction to Eric, but was there something more? Something deeper?

No! I’m going home to Philip.

“Is there someone back in Boston?” He glanced down at his boots. Swallowing hard, he looked off to one side, clenching his jaw and waiting for her response.

“No. . .Yes!” Michaela’s eyes were wide with confusion as she looked at Eric. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t expecting this.”

“Neither was I.”

“There is. . .” I have to tell him the truth. I have to tell him about Philip.

Michaela searched for the right words, but something held her back. Her mind spun out of control. She couldn’t think clearly. She had to get inside the house.

“Maybe I’m wrong.” Eric drew a deep breath. “I thought there was something between us. I apologize. It just all seemed so real today with you and the kids, and the ride home. Then when I kissed you. . .”

“I’m sorry.” Michaela wiped away a tear with the back of her hand, turned around, and ran toward the house.

Daniel and Emma were sitting on the sofa and talking when Michaela burst into the parlor. “Daniel, would you please put Honey into her stall?” Michaela hurried into her room and threw herself on the bed.

What was the matter with her? How could she have reacted this way over a kiss? And more importantly, why hadn’t she told Eric the truth?

If deciding to marry Philip was supposed to simplify her life, why did things suddenly seem so complicated? Marrying Philip was the right decision. But if that were true, why had Eric’s kiss turned her heart, and maybe her life, upside down?

❧

Eric dug the pitchfork into the loose hay, trying to get his mind off Michaela—something he hadn’t been able to do for the past two hours. He wiped the sweat from his forehead with his sleeve and sighed.

Michaela Macintosh.

She had captivated him from the moment he first laid eyes on her. These last few weeks, he found himself thinking more and more about this woman who had come into his life. He loved the way she worked with the children and her willingness to teach them piano.

She was beautiful, too. He had found himself watching her and wondered if she noticed. He loved how she constantly pushed back the stray lock of hair that always fell in her eyes and how her eyes crinkled when she laughed. When he accidentally brushed next to her, her skin was soft against his arms, and he couldn’t help wondering what it would be like to hold her.

Then tonight, when he kissed her, he realized he loved her. He had known for a long time now that he missed her when she was gone, and when they were together, he couldn’t keep his eyes off of her. Yes, he knew now that he loved her, but how could he have been so wrong about her feelings toward him?

Eric scooped up another mound of hay and added it to the pile. He had begun to think she was the one God had brought into his life to make him whole again—a second chance at love. He was lonely and knew he wanted to marry again, but it had to be someone who loved the children and whom the children loved as well. After today, it had all seemed so clear. How could he have been so wrong?

The barn door creaked open, and Rebecca stepped into the light of the lantern.

“Rebecca.” Eric leaned against the pitchfork. “Is something wrong?”

She shook her head and walked toward him, pulling her coat closer around her. “No, I saw the light and thought you must be home. What are you doing?”

He followed her gaze to the two piles of hay. He’d worked for an hour and done nothing more than move the pile a few feet to the right. He shook his head and ran his fingers through his hair. “I couldn’t sleep.”

Rebecca stifled a yawn and sat down on a packed bale of hay. “What happened with Mrs. Macintosh?”

Eric closed his eyes briefly, cringing inwardly at the memory. “I kissed her.”

Shadows dancing across Rebecca’s face revealed a smile. “That’s wonderful.”

He shook his head and set the tool against the wall before coming to sit beside her. “It was supposed to be.”

“I don’t understand.”

Eric leaned back against the barn wall and sighed. “I thought you were the one who was supposed to come to me about relationships.”

“Talking helps. That’s what you’ve always told me.”

Eric closed his eyes again, but all he could see was Michaela standing in front of him. “I don’t know, Rebecca. I must have totally misread her.”

“I’m sorry. I, well, all of us kids really like her.” She reached out and took his hand. “I just want you to be happy, Father.”

Eric squeezed his daughter’s hand, then stood and picked up the pitchfork again. “Go on to bed. I’ll be in later.”

He watched as his daughter slipped out of the barn and headed toward the house. He’d allowed her to shoulder far more responsibility than a young woman should have to deal with. All this time he’d thought he’d been handling things fine without a wife, but instead, he’d unknowingly placed a large burden on his daughter.

He needed Michaela. His family needed Michaela. And if he was right, Michaela needed them. If she could just find a way to let go of the past, then maybe, just maybe, she’d be able to take another chance at love—with him.