Captain Hatmaker’s Secret Logbook of the Wondrous Creatures Discovered on Soulhaven
This is a highly confidential logbook of all the magical creatures, plants and minerals discovered on the island of Soulhaven. The island’s location is strictly secret to protect the home of these rare, endangered magical beings.
(With very helpful additional notes by Thorn Lawless.)
Belly Gem – The crystals that formed over thousands of years in the Belly Cave of Soulhaven are quite extraordinary: their colours and swirling patterns range from bright pinks to deepest blues and greens. They slowly move and change according to the emotional temperature around them. They should never have been taken from the Belly Cave by that horrible admiral. They’re treasure that belongs in the earth.
Bombulant Coconut – The fruit of trees that have grown with their roots in Guzzle Mud and had their palm leaves rustled by Mischief Wind. The coconuts rumble as they grow, and when they hit the ground they explode. We fired these out of our cannons – they make such a brilliant BANG!
Canticle Seahorse – This tiny seahorse has a curling tail like a fiddle. They form choirs in rockpools and often sing chorales as they sway in the waves. Shelly learned all their songs and harmonizes with them beautifully.
Clod Worm – This appears to be a small grey rock, but is, in fact, a heavy round worm that slowly eats its way through igneous rock. These worms sometimes attach themselves to mammals, using their mouths like pincers, in the hopes that they will be carried to some new delicious rocks. Really useful for hampering enemies because the worms weigh them down.
Conquista Caterpillar – An orange caterpillar resembling a large, bushy moustache. It undulates in a hypnotic rhythm and, after forming a captivating cocoon, transforms into a dazzling Bamboozling Butterfly with markings like hypnotized eyes on its wings. In the fifteenth century, monks used the caterpillars’ eggs to make purple ink for illuminated manuscripts. The popularity of this ink eventually led to the creatures being hunted to supposed extinction. We sent a box of eggs to Master Ambrosius and he hatched them and put the caterpillars on portraits of the Sensible Party hanging in the Royal Academy.
Cuddling Succulent – A bulbous, affectionate succulent that clings to everything it touches. Can become smothering if not kept in check. Very comfortable for pillows, but sometimes they stick to your face in the morning.
Devil’s Toenail Oyster – A particularly gnarly-looking oyster that yields large knobbly pearls. If you put a speck of Guzzle Mud into an oyster, the pearl it makes will jump around of its own accord. You can play a kind of tiddlywinks with them.
Dodo – Raphus cucullatus – A large flightless bird from Mauritius, this incredibly friendly, gentle bird was hunted to extinction in the 1600s by Dutch sailors who landed on the island. Luckily some got away and escaped to Soulhaven. Their eyelashes and feathers are good for making people forget things.
Earthstar – A pale mushroom that springs up where the light of the evening star touches the earth. You have to collect them incredibly gently, otherwise they shrink away back into the ground.
Featherlight Fern – This incredibly gentle, ancient plant’s leaves capture sunlight and brush the light gently on to everything they touch, rather like a paintbrush that has been dipped in gold. And by moonlight, they paint things silver.
Gaudia Sea Ribbon – A multicoloured seaweed that forms dancing underwater forests beneath the waves. It makes people dance as though they’re underwater.
Guiding Star – The light of this star can only be seen by those who are hunted. The pull of the Guiding Star is what brought all the magical creatures, plants and entities to Soulhaven. It feels like it’s whispering a secret and you have to get closer to find out what it is.
Guzzle Mud – Mud that has formed a greedy habit of sucking in whatever it can. Dangerous in large quantities. It travels across impermeable surfaces and tries to uproot whatever it finds. It’s quite fun if you’re in up to your ankles, but it gets less fun if you’re in up to your knees. Having a Guzzle-Mud-ball fight is BRILLIANT. But it’s really hard to clean out of your nostrils.
Halcyon Bugle – Ajuga alcyonem – A golden flower that creates music when the wind whistles through its petals. Halcyon Bugles grow upright on stalks, with the flowers blooming at slightly different heights, which allows different tones between each flower. In the thirteenth century, whole gardens were planted with Halcyon Bugle bushes, because their music was said to be good for the soul and encourage daydreaming. But during the witch trials of the seventeenth century, the notorious (and humourless) Witchfinder General Matthew Hopkins decided that the music was too beguiling and ‘causeth a man to become enswamped by reckless fantasie’ and so entire gardens were put to the flame. Some of the seeds must have been smuggled out by witches, though! They made it to Soulhaven and these flowers grow by Moonstruck Lagoon. Billy played lullabies on them, to send us off into lovely dreams.
Harlequin Bumbler – A rainbow-striped bumblebee that used to roam the high meadows of the Swiss Alps. Multicoloured because of its varied diet of different magical flowers, it was hunted and used to dye ribbons. Jim once got stung by one and said he could taste colours.
House-Proud Hermit – This neat, fastidious crab takes care of its temporary home with care and pride. It once paraded on beaches for other creatures to admire it, but its beautifully polished shell proved too tempting for humans, who stole them by the handful. House-Proud Hermits have now retreated to the safety of Soulhaven. One of these tried to make a home in Shelly’s ear. She let it stay there for a week until she found it a coconut to live in.
Icthy Fledge – Before they went into hiding on Soulhaven, these mood-eating birds were kept in aviaries by kings, who used them to detect deceptive behaviour or resentful feelings in the minds of their courtiers. These birds fly around people’s heads and taste the moods they sense in the aura, and change colour according to the taste of that mood. Of course, this made a feeling of jealousy or hatred difficult to hide from a king. They used to always turn black whenever they flew around my head, but now they turn a hopeful kind of pink.
Jumping Jacaranda – An exuberant tree with purple leaves, highly ornamental but considered a pest in the garden as it jumps from place to place, uprooting other plants as it goes. The wood of these trees can be used to create violins that play catchy and exciting songs. Even their purple leaves have rhythm. Most trees were cut down to make violins when they became the most popular instrument in the orchestra. We raced them across the island, but only Tabitha managed to stay on hers the whole way.
Lacemaker Spider – This large but gentle arachnid was captured and made to work creating lace ruffs. At the height of the ruff fashion in Elizabeth the First’s time, whole colonies of Lacemakers were captive in factories, taken from their native silver birch forests. The last Lacemakers died out in Europe from being overworked in ruff factories, and were believed to be extinct by 1622. However, they survived and made a new home on Soulhaven. They spin incredibly intricate webs that resemble the finest filigree lace. They will decorate a whole person, given half a chance.
Lacewing Griffinfly – A giant turquoise dragonfly, the thrum of its wingbeats creates excitement in the air, leaving trails of joy behind it. Smokestack once followed one all the way along Tailbone Breakwater and swam after it across the bay.
Lantern Flower – This delicate flower hangs from a fine stem and flickers into light at dusk. Lantern Flowers glow particularly brightly if they sense a creature is lost. We planted them by our hammocks in case we woke up feeling lost at night.
Laughing Gull – These birds were driven to supposed extinction because their eggs, which invoke jollity when eaten as an omelette, were considered a delicacy during the medieval period. Jolly omelettes were popular among the monks of Normandy. But they flew away to Soulhaven, where nobody tried to make any omelettes.
Long, knotted hair from an unidentified creature – Mrs Glovemaker found long hairs from a creature knotted into the straw bonnet of Miss Prim’s Trouble Clothes. We’re not completely sure what creature they came from but the hairs were FULL of wicked intentions. Those were from my head.
Luxor Poppy – This yellow flower bursts into bloom when the first rays of the sun touch its petals. Once grown in enormous meadows in the Nile Delta, these flowers apparently died out because their seedpods were over-harvested by the Ancient Egyptians and eaten as a delicacy. They grow all over the top of Skull Rock on Soulhaven, so it looks like the island is sprouting a big blonde wig every sunrise.
Melodious Clam – A slow-growing clam that (if left to grow) eventually reaches a huge size. It absorbs sounds into its shell and creates melodies by playing these sound memories. The larger the clam grows, the more complex and tuneful the melodies become. Annie taught it about farts, and its songs became much more sonorous and majestic.
Mischief Wind – Tendrils of wind that cause particular mischief when unleashed. The truth is, this wind (which we sewed into Miss Prim’s Trouble Cape) was made of us whispering all the naughty things we’d ever done and every rude name we could think of.
Nightjar Moth – A moth that feasts on small flames and transforms the light it eats into its glowing cocoon. When they emerge from the cocoon, their wings are blue (like the hottest part of a flame), slowly becoming pale gold and finally turning white, at which point they lay their eggs on the undersides of Lantern Flower leaves. Their presence brings great comfort, but these moths became endangered when humans began burning too much coal, the fires of which they could not digest properly. Jim persuaded one to make its cocoon on his earlobe, so he’d look piratical with a gold dangly earring, but it was so hot it singed his hair and turned his ear pink.
Noctius Seaweed – A black seaweed that undulates and twists, growing quickly across any surface it can attach itself to. Useful for tying up enemies, but Sun Eaters love it, so they peck the enemies free pretty quickly.
Pecking Whelk – A carnivorous sea snail, particularly belligerent if provoked. Watch your toes!
Petrifying Parrot – A large scarlet bird with feathers that can cause a person to stop in their tracks as if turned to stone. Even its shrieks briefly paralyse a person. The birds were hunted for their tail feathers, which were used on arrows. They’re great for playing Grandma’s Footsteps. They’re also very useful when we’re boarding an enemy ship, as long as we’re wearing limpets in our ears.
Rockface Barnacles – Found growing on the primordial bones of ancient fossils, these barnacles are extremely rough and tough, causing any soft-skinned creature around them to develop a thick, craggy exterior. Once we discovered these, they made our disguise hats SO much better!
Sabre-wing Hummingbird – A graceful turquoise bird, so quick that it is usually visible only as a bright blur in the air. These beautiful creatures were hunted and their wings used to make handles for daggers, because their amazing speed gave the dagger handler the ability to attack with swift (and deadly) precision. They’re very gentle, though – it wasn’t their fault they were made into daggers. We would NEVER do that! Shelly once got one to eat pollen out of her nostril.
Sea Dragon – An ancient mythical sea creature. Despite its fearsome reputation, stoked by superstitious sailors, it is actually very kind, and has been known to pull ships free from whirlpools and tow them to safety. Appearing on mariners’ maps for centuries, spoken of only in the most fearful of whispers, the Sea Dragon was long believed to be pure myth, born of the wild imaginations of sea-drunk sailors. But it’s as real as you and me.
Secret-Keeper Shell – A silver shell that has grown in swirls or scrolls around invisible eddies in the sea. Its delicate shell will safely hold a secret, whether it’s a secret of whispered words, writing on a scroll of paper, a kiss or a wink. Or a teardrop.
Silver Skink Lizard – Known as Mirage Lizards, these reptiles shimmer dazzlingly in the sunlight, but are completely invisible in shadow. Their scales were used to make camouflage armour, up until their last sighting in the time of Saladin. Beware! In the shadows, these lizards can trip you up.
Somnambulant Snail – This snail feasts on moonlight. The trail it leaves causes an instant moonstruck sleep full of strange dreams. Hunted from its native Moon Mountain, its translucent shell was used in pottery. We collected their snail-trail goo to fire from our cannons, but we had to wear gloves to stop it making us fall asleep. They grow fatter on the full moon and the biggest snail we found was taller than Shelly!
Soulhope Tree – An ancient species of tree, the tallest in the world, with heartwood that hums with deep-rooted hope. It has green heart-shaped leaves and seedpods that oscillate with optimism. Its wood is supple but very strong, and cannot be used to make attacking weapons but creates the strongest shields. The last Soulhope Tree was felled by Henry the Eighth to make his ill-fated warship, the Mary Rose. If you get a splinter from this tree, it leaves you feeling that everything will be all right.
Sun Eater – These vulture-like birds are often seen circling wildfires, and are hunted by humans because they are considered to be bad luck. However, these brave avians actually shepherd distressed creatures to safety and they eat the flames from the wildfires. We always send them to help ships we pirate because they tidy up much better than we could. Their eggs are always warm: good for putting at the bottom of the hammock for toasty toes at night.
Tanglethatch Spider – A brown hairy spider that spins immensely strong unbreakable webs. In the Middle Ages, when archery was the main form of battle, these spiders were used for their webs; but because their webs were taken away to make archery strings, their homes were destroyed and they were easily caught and eaten by their main predators, Cain Wolves. They’re very fun to play games with. One time, we attached a Bombulant Coconut to the end of a Tanglethatch Spider’s web and played tennis with it. Annie tried to make one follow her around like a dog.
Toft Moss – A soft and lovely moss that quickly spreads across forest floors. It was over-harvested by humans to make tapestries and wall hangings in the medieval period. Also makes lovely soft spongy beds and grows over the floor to make cosy carpets. Never once made himself a whole jacket out of it, and Shelly wouldn’t stop cuddling him all day.
Trundling Fungus – A highly inventive, bright orange shape-shifting fungus. Playful but tricky-tempered, it takes many shapes and can grow both literally and metaphorically attached to people. Once it is attached, it becomes very loyal. Annie trained a puffball to be like a dog; it even sat on command.
Tumble Shrub – A rootless shrub that once roamed in enormous herds across the Serengeti, causing earth-thunder that drummed up courage in human hearts. However, these shrubs were chased into the ocean by poachers harvesting them for their speed-inducing leaves. Easiest way to climb a hill: dive into a tumble shrub going upwards – but keep your eyes AND mouth shut if you start feeling sick.
Turbidus Vine – Turbidus turbida – A tricksy, trouble-making vine that can cause mischief with its leaves, shoots and even its seeds. Very clever, extremely fast-growing and wickedly wily! You only need to ask politely and the vine is really very helpful. But if you’re shouty or rude, the vine responds the same way! Sometimes people just need to learn some manners.
Twitching Honeycreeper – A particularly paranoid bird with a penchant for sweet treats, especially honey. If it is caught with its beak in a bee’s nest, drinking the honey, it shrieks and jumps up and down, flashing its tail feathers and carrying on furiously to cover its embarrassment. These birds used to steal the honey cakes that the Duchess sent us.
Venus Mantrap – The cerise-pink flowers grow on vines, snapping at each other as they grow. The largest flowers exist alone on their vines because they have eaten all the rest of their competition and are big enough to swallow a human whole (as their name suggests). However, contrary to their name, they cannot digest a human, so will spit it back out after tasting it. They create heavy golden pollen and shining nectar. The nectar is delicious on toast. We put small petals of this flower into Miss Prim’s shoes.
