Section II: Adjustment to the Military Culture

How Did I Imagine My Life in the Military?

Goals of the Exercise

1. Enhance ability to adapt to the structure, expectations, and hierarchical organization of the military.

2. Develop adaptive means for dealing with the physical and mental stress of military service.

3. Identify positive aspects of serving in the military.

4. Develop a trusting and open relationship with a superior within the chain of command.

Additional Problems for which this Exercise may be Useful

Suggestions for Processing this Exercise with Service Member

Adjusting to military life can be difficult, even for the most well-adjusted individual. The differences between the way service members pictured it before joining and the day-to-day reality of military life can create feelings of disillusionment. Learning to navigate the many sometimes arbitrary, confusing, and counterintuitive rules, customs, and traditions can dampen the spirit of newly minted service members. This exercise allows the service member to develop a greater appreciation for the positive aspects of being in the military as well as identify negative thoughts that may be reinforcing the negative aspects of being in the military. Be mindful that reassurance, patience, and compassion will go a long way in helping service members become accustomed to their new lifestyle. Follow-up for this exercise could include reporting back to the therapist/therapy group on actions related to this assignment and their outcomes, as well as bibliotherapy using books suggested in Appendix A of The Veterans and Active Duty Military Psychotherapy Treatment Planner and/or videotherapy using films on the topics of “Friends and Support Systems” and/or “Vocational and Work-Related Issues” recommended in Rent Two Films and Let's Talk in the Morning, 2nd ed., by John W. Hesley and Jan G. Hesley, also published by John Wiley & Sons.

EXERCISE II.A How Did I Imagine My Life in the Military?

It's normal to second-guess your choice of joining the military. Nearly every service member has been there at some point. At times, things seem unfair—your life is micromanaged by people you hardly know and you have to ask permission to do the most basic things. But things are not all bad. There are many benefits to being in the military, though it's easy to lose sight of this fact. This exercise will help you focus on the positive aspects of being in the military and get you thinking about ways to overcome the negatives.

1. Most of us find that some parts of military life are not what we expected. We may have pictured it with more drama and glamour, and less stress and boredom. We have become disappointed with this new environment that confronts us with an endless supply of rules, customs, and traditions that are sometimes confusing and don't seem to make sense. If you've found differences between what you expected and what you've experienced, describe those differences here:

_____

_____

_____

2. If you are completing this exercise, it's likely that you are already well-aware of the cons (negatives) of being in the military. Please list some pros (positives) of being in the military:

a. _____

b. _____

c. _____

d. _____

e. _____

f. _____

g. _____

h. _____

i. _____

j. _____

k. _____

l. _____

3. Choose three of the pros from above and write about why they are important to you. Use three 5 × 7 note cards and fill up at least the front of each card. Once you've finished them, place the cards in your pocket and review them at least once each day.

4. Now, list three cons of being in the military. List one negative thought that may reinforce negative views of why a “con” situation exists; then list thoughts that explain these situations in more positive ways. (Example: [con] My NCO is always correcting me. [negative thought] He doesn't respect me—he thinks I'm an idiot. [positive thought] He sees my potential and is setting high standards for me because he believes I can meet them.)

A. Three cons of being in the military

1. _____

2. _____

3. _____

B. Negative thoughts (negative explanations for situation in each con)

1. _____

2. _____

3. _____

C. Positive thoughts (positive explanations for situation in each con)

1. _____

2. _____

3. _____

5. Does looking at these “cons” in both negative and positive ways make it easier for you to go through the day in a more positive mood than if you were only thinking about the negatives? Does it make adjusting to military life more manageable? If so, please briefly describe the difference this is making for you:

_____

_____

_____

Be sure to bring this handout back to your next session with your therapist, and be prepared to discuss your thoughts and feelings about the exercise.

All for One and One for All

Goals of the Exercise

1. Identify and implement changes that will reduce the negative emotions brought on by adjustment to military life.

2. Identify and develop activities outside of the military that provide a sense of pleasure and self-worth.

3. Develop friendships with others with similar interests.

4. Use existing supports within the military that assist with the challenges of adjusting to military life.

5. Develop new, or engage in existing, hobbies that are non-military related.

Additional Problems for which this Exercise may be Useful

Suggestions for Processing this Exercise with Veteran/Service Member

Joining the military is the first big life decision for many service members. Leaving home and being shipped off to an unfamiliar part of the country or to a foreign land can be intimidating. For many young service members, withdrawal and seclusion are normal reactions to being surrounded by unfamiliar people, places, and things. This exercise will help the service member expand his/her interests and strengthen already existing social supports. It will also help him/her develop new non-military related activities and interests. Follow-up for this exercise could include reporting back to the therapist/therapy group on actions related to this assignment and their outcome, as well as bibliotherapy using books suggested in Appendix A of The Veterans and Active Duty Military Psychotherapy Treatment Planner and/or videotherapy using films on the topic of “Friends and Support Systems” recommended in Rent Two Films and Let's Talk in the Morning, 2nd ed., by John W. Hesley and Jan G. Hesley, also published by John Wiley & Sons.

EXERCISE II.B All for One and One for All

For most of us, part of the appeal of military service was the idea of being a member of a tight-knit group—all for one and one for all, as expressed in The Three Musketeers. However, when we're uncomfortable with a major life change, we may tend to withdraw from our surroundings. Unfortunately, this limits our interaction with others and keeps us from enjoying places and activities, putting that camaraderie out of reach. In this exercise, list three activities that you enjoy but haven't engaged in since joining the military, and make a plan for how you will get involved in each activity again. In addition to having fun, this is a great way to find friends who share your interests. After you've done that, identify at least five new potential sources of support and friendship that you can explore (e.g., church, singles group, amateur sports team, hobby club, military mentor).

1. Activity #1

What is the activity? _____

Plan for getting active in the activity again:

_____

_____

_____

_____

_____

_____

_____

2. Activity #2

What is the activity? _____

Plan for getting active in the activity again:

_____

_____

_____

_____

_____

_____

_____

3. Activity #3

What is the activity? _____

Plan for getting active in the activity again:

_____

_____

_____

_____

_____

_____

_____

4. List five new potential sources of support and friendship and when you'll try them out.

a. _____

b. _____

c. _____

d. _____

e. _____

Be sure to bring this handout back to your next session with your therapist, and be prepared to discuss your thoughts and feelings about the exercise.