Section XXXIV: Spiritual and Religious Issues

Understanding Spirituality

Goals of the Exercise

1. Develop a connection with a higher power that provides satisfaction and fulfill-ment.

2. Learn the difference between religion and spirituality.

3. Overcome resistance to 12-Step programs based on antipathy toward religion.

4. Develop connections and supports with others that share the same spiritual/reli-gious beliefs.

Additional Problems for which this Exercise may be Useful

Suggestions for Processing this Exercise with Veterans/Service Members

The “Understanding Spirituality” activity is written for veterans/service members whose therapeutic progress is impeded by antipathy toward spirituality as a resource for recovery, based on antipathy toward organized religion or perceived conflicts with personal values. Follow-up could include bibliotherapy including books such as Where in the World Is God by Robert Brizee or books included in Appendix A of The Veterans and Active Duty Military Psychotherapy Treatment Planner.

EXERCISE XXXIV.A Understanding Spirituality

This assignment will help you begin working through an issue that troubles many people. This is a big subject, and there's no way that one handout can cover it all, but it can offer some pointers to help you get started.

Why work on spirituality? If you've identified this as an issue, your reasons are your own. You may be one of the many people that have been frustrated in seeking a religious community that feels right to them. You may have felt the need for some system of values, of right and wrong, in ways that didn't seem important earlier in your life. If you're participating in a recovery program, having a spiritual connection can make the difference between success or failure in recovery, and therefore possibly the difference between life or death. It's the key to effective use of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), Narcotics Anonymous (NA), and other 12-Step programs.

Many people have good reasons to feel skeptical about religion. They may have had bad experiences with religious people or institutions. Perhaps they just feel that God has not been there in their lives. When they attend meetings of 12-Step programs and hear a lot of talk about God, it may look like a barrier making these programs useless to them, but it doesn't have to be. Many people who find that they feel uncomfortable in any of the religious communities they've experienced, who may not believe in God or believe that no one could know whether God exists, can still find that they can come to an understanding of spirituality that will fill a need in their lives, one that can help them cope with life's struggles and connect with other people whose outlooks are like their own. The key is understanding the difference between spirituality and religion.

1. Write down your description of religion. What do you think of when you hear the word?

_____

_____

2. Now think about the word spirituality, and write your definition for this word.

_____

_____

3. Are there differences in the meanings of religion and spirituality for you? If so, what is the biggest difference you see?

_____

_____

A definition of religion could be: A religion is a specific system of practices and rituals, based on a belief in a specific divine or superhuman power, usually practiced through membership in a specific human organization, such as a church, temple, mosque, or synagogue.

A similar definition for spirituality, on the other hand, might sound like this: Spirituality is a focus on the moral aspects of life, on doing what is right on what matters most, and on being the best people we are capable of being.

So we could put it this way: A religion is a system people create to try to achieve spirituality. We could think of spirituality as water and religion as a bottle, a container to hold water—but other containers can hold water, and some bottles contain other things instead of water.

4. Does this idea make sense to you?_____ What other containers for spirituality can you think of (i.e., other ways to help yourself focus on what is right in life)?

_____

_____

5. At this point, you may be thinking, “Doesn't this definition of religion also describe a 12-Step program? It seems to be a specific system of practices and rituals, and it is practiced through membership in a specific organization!” If you've had the thought that AA, NA, or some other 12-Step program seemed to resemble a religion, what similarities do you see?

_____

_____

6. What differences do you see between 12-Step groups and religions?

_____

_____

Here are three key differences between 12-Step groups and religions:

i. Definitions of God. A religion offers specific ways to understand God, and may insist no other way is correct. A 12-Step program asks you to think in terms of a power greater than yourself, and leaves it to you to decide what that power is and how it works.

ii. Authority. While a religion almost always has a hierarchy and people in charge, in a 12-Step group there's no one in charge, no chain of command. Decisions are voted on by the group through a process called a “group conscience.”

iii. Membership Requirements. Religions may restrict their memberships in many ways—by birth, heritage, or obedience to various rules. By contrast, in a 12-Step program, the 3rd Tradition says that the only membership requirement is a desire to solve the problem the group exists to overcome. Anyone who wants to be a member can, and no one can be excluded.

7. Going back to our definition of spirituality, how could paying attention to the moral aspects of life and what is right help you solve the problems facing you with alcohol, drugs, or other addictive behaviors?

_____

_____

If you see that a focus on these parts of your life could be useful, that's all it takes to begin including spirituality in your recovery work.

Be sure to bring this handout back to your next therapy session, and be prepared to discuss your thoughts and feelings about the exercise.

What Do I Believe in?

Goals of the Exercise

1. Resolve conflicts between military service and spiritual/religious beliefs.

2. Develop connections and supports with others that share the same spiritual/reli-gious beliefs.

3. Describe in detail the nature of spiritual/religious issues.

4. Describe current spiritual belief system.

Additional Problems for which this Exercise may be Useful

Suggestions for Processing this Exercise with Veterans/Service Members

The “What Do I Believe In?” activity is designed for work with veterans/service mem-bers who are struggling to resolve conflicts between military service and spiritual or religious beliefs or searching for meaning in their lives. Follow-up could include bibliotherapy including books such as Where in the World Is God by Robert Brizee or books included in Appendix A of The Veterans and Active Duty Military Psychotherapy Treatment Planner.

EXERCISE XXXIV.B What Do I Believe in?

Many of us haven't thought hard about what we really believe in for a long time, perhaps our whole lives. And yet we do all have beliefs and values, and if our actions don't fit them we feel uneasy and may not know why. An important part of peace of mind is what people sometimes call “being comfortable in our own skin.” We can't feel that way without the self-respect that comes with being true to what we believe. This exercise will help you explore your own beliefs and values and plan ways to live that are true to them.

1. First, please look at this list of personal qualities. Note that all of these are choices—qualities we can develop or learn—rather than things we don't control. Circle the six that are most important to you in doing what's right.

UnNumberTable

2. Why are these things the most important to you? How did you come to value them?

_____

_____

3. Now review your life in each of the following areas, and make some notes about how your actions either match up with the qualities you chose or conflict with them:

Military service and/or job: _____

_____

Marriage/partnership: _____

_____

Parenting: _____

_____

Friendships: _____

_____

Other important parts of your life:

_____

_____

4. Many people have struggled with understanding what is right in religious, spiritual, and moral terms in all of these areas, but most of all in relation to military service. If there were simple or easy ways to settle such conflicts, they would have been settled long ago—each of us has to find our own answers. Still, it may help to think about some key points that have helped other people answer the same questions for themselves.

a. Do you feel that violence against other people is ever justified (e.g., in defense of self or others)? If so, when is it right and when is it wrong?_____

_____

_____

b. Is it better, worse, or no different in your eyes to actively hurt someone or to let them be hurt by failing to prevent it?

_____

c. You may have found yourself in a situation in which someone was going to be hurt or killed no matter what you did or didn't do. If that has happened, briefly describe that situation, what you did, and whether you believe you made the right choice:

_____

_____

d. You may be dealing with a common human mistake, that of judging yourself and your actions more harshly than you would judge anyone else. If you have found yourself in situations in which you did things that clashed with your sense of right and wrong, please think about these points: how clearly you understood the situation at the time you acted; what stresses you were under; and how much time you had to decide what to do. With those factors in mind, would you judge someone else in that situation the same way you may have judged yourself? If not, why should you be held to a different standard than other people?_____

5. Where could you find help in thinking about these questions and deciding how to live in the future and how to decide about things like whether to stay in the military when your current term of service ends, if you are still in?_____

_____

6. Name one thing you will do in each area during the next year to make your actions more consistent with the values you believe are right.

Military service and/or job:_____

Marriage/partnership:_____

Parenting:_____

Friendships:_____

Other important parts of your life:_____

Be sure to bring this handout with you to your next therapy session, and be pre-pared to discuss your thoughts and feelings about this exercise.