Jenna squeezed her hands into fists, pressed them against her thighs, and glared at the computer screen.
More precisely, she glared at the icon of her cyberspace mailbox.
It was empty.
Still.
After four days.
Empty.
Four. Days.
“I can’t do this.” She hissed the words through gritted teeth. “I cannot do this.”
“Yo!”
She jumped at the sound and jerked around to face the open classroom door. “Ohmygosh!”
Cade made a wry face and strode to her desk. “Oops. Sorry. Figured you heard me. I was whistling and talking out in the hall. You okay?”
“Sure.” Her heart hammered the breath right out of her lungs. “No. Yeah. I am. I’m fine.”
“Jenna.” Loosening his tie, he squatted coach-style next to her chair and looked up at her. “I think this is exactly what we talked about a couple days ago. It’s okay to be not okay. It’s even expected.”
Her chest felt like the host to a kickboxing match. She nodded.
He smiled, and his brows went up.
Oh, no. If Mr. Ice Guy went soft on her, there was no way the sob could stay inside of her. This was absolutely not what she needed.
“Tell me, Mrs. Mason, what can I do for you?” His voice dropped a notch. “Right now, this very minute, what can I do to help?”
She glanced at the computer screen and felt again the stab of anger. “Tell him to send an e-mail.”
He didn’t answer for a moment. Then, “When did you last hear from him?”
“Monday.”
“You know he can’t—”
“Yes! I know! I know he can’t write or call every day! And I know there are legitimate reasons why he can’t write every day.” She bit on her lower lip before she spewed out exactly what she thought of the USMC and of Kevin reenlisting.
“And those legitimate reasons . . .” Cade’s voice hushed. “They probably scare the living daylights out of you.”
The anger drained as if a plug had been yanked out. It happened like that. A giant rushing gurgle and pfft. It was all gone, leaving her limp and unable to fight the fear left in its wake.
She closed her eyes.
“Jenna, they would tell you if Kevin was injured.”
“Or killed.” She looked at him. “Or missing in action.”
His steady gray eyes held hers. “He’s on some assignment, out of the office, so to speak. He’ll be back before you know it.”
A silent moment passed between them.
Cade whispered, “I’m sorry I can’t call him up and ream him out. I’m sorry I can’t say, ‘Hey, bud, your wife needs an e-mail from you right now.’”
Something shifted inside of her, as if one of those big chunks of fear had been moved.
As if Cade Edmunds had angled his shoulder under it, sharing its weight, bearing as much as she allowed.
Jenna was suddenly struck with the maleness of this man and realized how much she missed that element in her life. Kevin would have knelt before her in the same way, his face likewise a mixture of compassion and a determination to slay dragons for her. She would get lost within the confines of his arms. The world would be right again.
Cade rose to his feet, and the spell was broken. “There’s a group of us going to dinner. Why don’t you join us?”
She cleared her throat. “Uh, thanks, but I’ve got plans. A family thing.”
“Maybe another time.”
“Maybe.” She cocked her head. “What do you mean you can’t call him? You are so not a help, Edmunds.”
“Yeah, yeah.” He put his hands on his hips. “I want you to carefully consider taking tomorrow off.”
“I’m fine.”
“I’m serious.”
“I know you are.”
“I don’t want to find you in here again cursing at your computer.”
“I wasn’t cursing—” She saw the glint in his eyes and relaxed. “I’m serious too. This helped. I mean, us talking. So thank you.”
A rare grin lit up Mr. Ice Guy’s face. “You’re welcome.”
The late afternoon sun still felt warm on Jenna’s face as she stood outside her apartment building. She waited for her brother and his girlfriend to pick her up.
The family thing she’d mentioned to Cade was dinner at the Hacienda Hideaway, the retreat center her parents and grandparents were reopening. It was located up in the hills at least—depending on traffic—a fifty-minute drive from her place. She’d welcomed the ride offer.
A black SUV pulled into the parking lot. Jenna steeled herself. Family gatherings so magnified Kevin’s absence.
But then, what didn’t? A yawning void filled the apartment, the car, the school, the empty e-mail box. An evening out with coworkers or other friends they shared in common would not exactly be a respite. Anger would bubble and then, like what happened earlier with Cade, fear would take over.
The car braked near her, and the passenger door opened. Her older brother, Erik, slid out. “What’s wrong?”
“Besides my entire life?” She returned his brief hug.
“Yeah, besides that.” He looked down at her, his poker face a sure sign he was in playful mode. “I mean, you’re standing outside your apartment building. I don’t have to call you to say we’re downstairs.” He held up a hand. “Okay, just give me a moment here. This is quite difficult to fathom. The princess is actually waiting for us, actually ready to go?”
“Shut up.” Jenna turned to Erik’s girlfriend, who moved in for a hug.
Rosie said, “Don’t mind him. The prince is feeling a little feisty. He actually worked today.”
“He worked? Really?”
Erik said, “Ha, ha.”
Rosie smiled at him. His own grin lit up his face, a sight that reminded Jenna of him as a kid.
Erik Beaumont and Rosa Delgado were such an unlikely couple. Her brother, a former TV newscaster, would never have dated the Latina policewoman if he hadn’t checked into rehab and gotten over himself. Rosie never would have dated the snob—her own word—if she hadn’t nearly killed him.
“Jenna,” Rosie said. In spite of her pretty summer dress and her loose, wavy hair, she resembled a cop. It came across in her major-gym- time body and those sunglasses. “Seriously, how are things this week?”
When they first met, Jenna hadn’t cared much for Rosie. Why any woman wanted to do a man’s job was incomprehensible. She was pushy, intimidating, and outspoken. She honestly did believe the Beaumont siblings were royalty, in the negative sense of being spoiled. Not to mention the fact that she shot Erik.
But over the months, Jenna grew to trust and admire Rosie. No question about it, the woman loved Erik. Without her influence on him, Jenna’s older brother could easily have become by now a hopeless drunk lying somewhere in a gutter. Yes, Jenna could talk honestly with Rosie.
Jenna exhaled loudly. “The first couple days of school are always nerve-racking. Edmunds stuck me with this totally off-the-wall group for sixth-hour lit. I swear every last one of them will be suspended by next Friday. Which, come to think of it, will give me an extra prep period. Hmm. Maybe I won’t complain.”
Rosie took off her sunglasses, revealing a deadly combination of terrorist-level interrogation glare and grandma-level tenderness. “When did you last hear from him?”
Jenna twisted the strap of her shoulder bag and tried to smile. “You know, you’d make a great cop.”
Rosie touched Jenna’s arm. “I’ll pray.”
That was the other thing that used to bug her about Rosie—how she wore her faith like a scarlet C on her chest. “Everyone take notice. I am a Christian.”
But that was before Kevin’s absence had hollowed out Jenna’s insides. It was before the void had begun to haunt.
She put her hand on Rosie’s and squeezed. “I could use that. Thanks.”