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I STUMBLED OUT OF THE building, clutching my stomach. I loved Alison like a sister, but I couldn’t be around her. Not right now. My head was spinning and sweat broke out on my forehead. Maybe I was getting sick.
My stomach tightened, and I suddenly realized I was due for my period.
Well, actually now that I thought about it, my period should have been last week.
But it hadn’t come.
And I hadn’t even realized it because of everything going on with Matlock. Maybe I was late due to stress?
I quickly headed home and to the bathroom, expecting to see blood on my underwear. But there was nothing.
My stomach rolled again, and I swallowed down the wave of nausea that followed. The twinges in my stomach didn’t feel like period cramps.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, what are you thinking now?
I didn’t want to jump to any conclusions without the facts. But what those facts were...
I let out a breath, running the details over in my mind. Matlock and I had been sleeping with each other casually the past few weeks. Closer to a month, probably. In the entire time we’d been together again, I hadn’t had my period.
Of course, that could be for a number of reasons.
It didn’t mean...
“Focus,” I told myself. I sucked in a breath. I shook my head. “Don’t jump to conclusions.”
I inhaled deeply. “Let’s look at this from a rational perspective,” I said out loud. My voice echoed in the small room. “You’ve missed your period. You got sick early this morning. You have been having unprotected sex with Matlock for the past few weeks. Maybe a month. Maybe longer.”
I winced. I needed to check my diary. Surely, I could work it out exactly.
I stood up and looked in the mirror. My pale face stared back at me.
To distract myself, I reached for my hairbrush, pulling it through my unruly blonde hair before beginning to braid it. But my hands trembled, so I had to tug it out then start all over again.
“At the very least,” I continued, forcing my hands to steady, “you need to take an accurate pregnancy test, so you’ll know for sure. Once you rule that out, then you can try to figure out what’s going on.”
I left the bathroom and hurried to the small library I had in my room. We had so many books and not enough space in the family room. I’d seen a spell that would give me an accurate reading and I wanted to make sure I got it right. It took me a moment, but I finally pulled the thick book of potions off the shelf and began flipping through the pages, looking for the spell.
“There it is,” I muttered once I saw it.
I took in the words. The spell was simple enough. All it required of me was a drop of blood. I went into the kitchen and grabbed a clean knife before heading back into the bathroom.
“Here goes nothing,” I murmured, taking the knife and pressing it to the pad of my index finger. As I did so, I recited the words of the spell.
A drop of blood bubbled to the surface of my skin and I put the knife down on the bed. I stared at my finger. Depending on whether I was pregnant or not, my blood would turn green. If I wasn’t, it would remain red.
I waited.
And waited.
Until... I watched as my blood went from red to green.
Which meant...
Pregnant.
Me, pregnant.
This wasn’t...
This couldn’t... be...
I ran my fingers over my lips, my fingers trembling as I did so. This couldn’t be correct. And yet, it had to be. A magic spell wasn’t some dinky test humans purchased at the drug store. Even those were almost always accurate. A magic test revealed the truth, no matter what.
I was pregnant.
With Matlock’s child.
I looked at my bathroom door. My dad wasn’t home, something I was grateful for. Even though I could easily avoid them, lying wasn’t something I was particularly good at, especially with my dad.
So, what’s the next step, Melfi?
That was the question. I had different options, of course. I could create a potion that –
No. I wrapped my arms around myself, shuddering sy the thought. Just because I hadn’t wanted a baby yesterday didn’t mean I would even consider getting rid of the one currently tucked away in my womb. The notion of it was unfathomable to me.
I closed my eyes and imagined the child inside of me. All High Warlocks had sons when they bred with the women the Council had arranged for them. For me... my child would be a girl. There would be no question of it in my mind.
The real question was, did I give this child up for adoption? Or did I keep her and raise her myself? And most importantly, what did I tell Matlock?
I steepled my fingers around my nose and thought hard about the complexities of my sudden situation. I was compelled to pace, so I allowed myself to follow my instincts, my hands thrust behind my back as I walked back and forth across my room.
I probably shouldn’t tell Matlock. After all, he was going to be the High Warlock, and having a child outside of marriage – let alone with someone who wasn’t his fiancée – had to be illegal. At the very least, it wasn’t going to be an ideal situation for him. Or me.
“But maybe...” I let my voice trail off, chewing at my bottom lip.
Could I even let myself hope that there was some way out of this? That there was some happy ending for us?
I placed my hand on my stomach, looking down. I didn’t feel any different, save for the throwing up. I didn’t feel pregnant, though I didn’t know what it meant to feel pregnant. But maybe... my little cricket could have a family.
Maybe.
The thing was, I didn’t want Matlock to feel compelled to marry me just because I was pregnant. I refused to be the girl who trapped him. The witch from a different class who was looking for a way to escape her blue collar, mundane life. If – and this was a big if – there was any way for a happy ending, it had to be earned. I would accept nothing less.
I pressed my palm against the underside of my belly and rubbed it with affection.
We would accept nothing less.
Which meant I had to stop dicking around. I needed Matlock to prove he was in this for the long haul. And if he wasn’t.... well, then, I would prepare for that as well.
But how was I going to accomplish this? What was my plan?
I stopped pacing and leaned against the wall, tilting my head back so I could stare up at the ceiling. I took a breath and then another.
“Well, for one,” I said, “we can’t tell him about you. He can’t find out. That way, it’s not like he can ever say I forced him to be with me. Which means, I’d appreciate it if you could not get me sick when I’m around him. I’ll cut back on the sweets and the spicy foods, you keep the nausea to when he’s gone so he won’t even think about the possibility of us being pregnant.”
Although, if he didn’t think it was possible, he was an idiot. It wasn’t like he was doing anything to protect himself, and I hadn’t done anything to keep myself from getting pregnant. In hindsight, it was reckless, but I just...
No. No excuses.
I could have but didn’t. I’d wanted to be entirely open to him. No barriers between us. But it didn’t matter. The only thing that mattered was the fact that I was pregnant now.
“Genevieve?”
My gaze flicked to the door. My father had come home early. I tucked stray strands of hair behind my ear, my fingers shaking as I did so. With my father home, I couldn’t hide away in the bathroom. I would have to come out and interact with the world. I would have to figure out a way to live with a baby. I’d need my own place. Because everything had changed.
“Just a minute!” I called, and then remembered I’d enacted a privacy spell. I quickly waved it away then called out again, “Just a minute!”
“Okay!”
I quickly ran to the bathroom again and turned on the faucet. I ran cold water over my hands before bringing them to my face. The shock of the water woke me up, but I that was the best I was going to do.
Would my father be able to tell if there was something different going on? Would he be able to tell if I was pregnant?
I was sure there was some sort of magic that might give him that option, but did he know how to use it? And, if he did, would he? Even though he was my father, I was familiar with privacy laws and I expected him to respect my boundaries both morally and legally.
But just because he had to didn’t mean he would. And knowing I was his daughter, he might think it was his right to make sure I was safe. I wasn’t sure what I would do for my child if I was in a similar situation. It was difficult for me to wrap my head around the fact that I was pregnant, that I would have soon have a child relying on me.
I stepped out of the bathroom, pulling my hair over my shoulder, knotting it in a braid. I walked to the dining table. I wasn’t surprised to see my father already sitting down, a takeout box of Styrofoam snapped open. The strong scent of spices filled my senses. Instead of salivating at the smell, I rushed to the bathroom and began to throw up. Thank goodness I made it in time.
“Genevieve?” my father called. “You all right?”
Shit. How was I going to explain this?
I managed a glare at my stomach, as though the tiny cricket inside of me was somehow responsible for my sickness. To a degree, it was. I was just feeling betrayed because I thought we had a deal.
Obviously not.
I picked myself up and flushed the toilet. I needed water to rinse my mouth, so conjured it out of the air. What I didn’t understand was why I’d be throwing up now, at dinnertime. Wasn’t morning sickness supposed to be just that?
It was only then did I realize that I knew absolutely nothing about being pregnant or being a mom or having children. I knew about history and magic. I was one of the strongest witches in my class and I loved learning about everything. But I was completely ignorant about this. If I was going to keep this child, and I still wanted to, then I needed to figure out how to be a good mom.
“There must be some sort of spell I can put on myself that will ease the morning sickness,” I murmured. Conjuring up some ginger tea, I took a long sip. The hot liquid burned my tongue, but I kept drinking. I wasn’t a huge fan of ginger, but already I could feel it doing wonders for my stomach.
“Genevieve?” my father called again.
I burst out of the bathroom, quickly removing the spell. I wasn’t sure if my father would be able to tell I had conjured one up in the first place, but I didn’t want to push it.
He was just outside, poised to knock. When he saw me, his eyes filled with concern.
“Are you all right, Gen?” he asked.
At that moment, I wanted to tell him everything. I hated lying to him, keeping this secret from him, but there was nothing I could do about it. Not really.
“Sorry, Dad,” I said. And I was. Tears pricked at my eyes and I quickly blinked them away. I sucked in a breath. “It’s just, it’s that time of the month. And I’m a little emotional.”
“Of course.” He nodded once, not flinching at my “honesty,” which made me love him even more. “Can I do anything for you?”
“I just want to be alone for now,” I said, “but thank you.”
When I was safely tucked in my room, I conjured another protection spell and finally let myself cry.