Introduction

This is a memoir of my experience of Shaktipat or Kundalini awakening through the grace of a great guru in 1979. I did not understand what was happening at the time, but I endeavored to research it and share my findings. I write this with the loving guidance of my guru, and his esteemed guru, Bade Baba, without whom not only would I have no power to write, and no power to comprehend my experience, but most certainly no power at all to have had this experience in the first place. My homage and reverence go to their successor who has for over thirty years sustained the teachings.

When I received this gift of awakened Kundalini from my guru in 1979, I had no idea of its value. Over the years of reading, researching and watching the changes in my life, I gradually came to realize the immense significance of it. I wondered how I had earned such a gift. I wondered how it could be that no one in my culture, none of my readings and education had prepared me for this gift of spirit.

I wanted to share the good news, but no one could hear my words, for they knew nothing at all about such an awakening. Here was one of the most important events in all my lifetimes, yet I had to hide it and even feel ashamed of being so different to others. For me, in 1979, only my teacher understood what I was going through; everyone else misjudged me. This is why I wrote this book, for being seen as “crazy” when one is going “sane” is very lonely, disheartening and tragic. I want others who may be going through this to know that awakening to one’s spiritual power and truth is a great event that should be heralded as we salute saints and Olympic heroes.

I trust that, as the years of our evolution continue blossoming and more and more human beings emerge from the nightmare of our confinement in ignorance and misery, such transcendent experiences will not be hidden shamefully behind locked doors. They will not be medicated and obscured, stifled and suppressed, but brought out into the light of day to be celebrated and honored. I trust that human beings who awaken to their full humanity as the most rare of the creatures God has created, be brought before the congress of universes to receive due respect and acknowledgement for their courage.

We are the sovereign, transcendent survivors of millions of years of cellular development. We are the ones that we have been seeking. We are the butterflies that have emerged from the chrysalis. It is to us newly born humans that the galaxies sing their lullabies. It is our destiny to BE God on Earth, to BE God as matter, to be our own complete, sovereign selves as we have been formed. This is the destiny that we are heir to. Our rare birth gives us an even rarer gift of knowing God within ourselves.

This book has been twenty years in the making, a love affair with my heart. Some will be able to receive its wisdom, some not yet. But now it is published it will find its own audience and its seeds will fall where they will. My symptoms may not be the same symptoms as the reader’s. But in describing this process, I hope to show the paradox and wonder of being human and to bring hope for those who are struggling with depression or Kundalini symptoms. My struggles to know the truth were like a valiant, heroic battle, yet when I got to that state I sought, I found it was as easy as going ‘home,’ as simple as breathing.

To that soul who can open to a glimpse of the true wonder of who human beings are and the beauty and nobility of the human heart from reading this, I salute you, and thank you.