Rionna was shaking by the time she reached her chamber. It had taken all her courage to calmly walk out of the hall with Caelen’s face a storm cloud of anger. ’Twas wrong of her to show such disrespect in front of the men, but ’twas just as wrong for him to air his grievance with her in front of others.
She had no desire to remain in this chamber, or wait his convenience, stewing all the while she waited for him to make an appearance. But neither would she give the impression that she was hiding by retreating to her former chamber.
But ’twas God’s truth all she really wanted was to be alone so she could sleep in peace. She was so weary and tense that she wanted to melt into her bed and remain there an entire day. And her head was beginning to throb.
She paced back and forth in front of the fire until she realized that he was going to make her wait. With an irritated sigh, she undressed and put her gown carefully away so that it wouldn’t be ruined. ’Twas a beautiful gown and perhaps one day she’d have a chance to wear it when it could be appreciated.
She was chilled in just her nightdress so she donned her cloak and curled into the chair by the fire. A bath would feel next to heaven, but ’twas late and she had no desire to be caught in the tub when her husband decided to make his appearance.
As warmth invaded her limbs, her eyelids grew heavier and heavier. By the time she heard Caelen’s footsteps outside the door, she was so drowsy that she couldn’t muster any outrage that he’d taken so long to retire.
The door quietly opened and shut much the same. She didn’t turn to greet him, opting to remain exactly where she was.
For several long moments, silence loomed in the chamber. Then finally his footsteps sounded again, closer this time, before he came to stand just behind her.
“I have battled my anger all day today and yet I find I’m as angry now as I was before.”
At that, Rionna turned in her chair, clutching her cloak tightly around her.
“And what sin have I committed, husband? Are you so displeased at the thought of becoming a father? Did I misunderstand your boasts that I would deliver within a year of our marriage?”
His brows drew together and he stared at her in obvious consternation. “Think you I’m upset that you are pregnant with my child?”
She stood, her cloak swirling around her legs. “You’ve done nothing to make me think otherwise! From the moment you discovered that I was pregnant, you’ve been coldly furious. I’ve done nothing to gain your ire and yet you’ve cut me to ribbons with your gaze at every turn.”
“Nothing? God’s teeth, woman, but you are a test of my endurance. You don’t tell me that you are with child. At what point were you going to confide in me? When I held the point of my sword to your swollen belly? Or maybe when ’twas time for you to push the babe into the world?”
Her mouth fell open as she understood his meaning. “You think I purposely kept secret my condition? You think I would put our babe at risk?”
“You were participating in activities no pregnant woman should ever be doing,” he said through clenched teeth. “You had to know I would have never allowed it.”
“So you think so little of me that you think I would resort to subterfuge so that I could continue to indulge in training, never mind that I was pregnant with the next laird of my clan.”
“Why did you not tell me then?” he demanded.
Tears of disappointment and frustration burned her eyelids. His opinion of her hurt. Did he truly believe she’d be so selfish and foolhardy as to put her child at risk?
“I did not know!” she said fiercely. “I did not know until I awakened and Sarah told me. I would have told you. It would have given me great joy to do so.”
Caelen looked shocked for a moment, as though he’d given such a possibility no thought. “Jesu,” he muttered. Then he ran a ragged hand through his hair and turned swiftly away. His hand fell to his side, curled into a tight fist. “When I think of what could have happened, what almost did happen. When you fell, I thought I had hurt you. I could have harmed our child. I could have harmed you.”
Realization was quick to dawn on Rionna. Her anger and hurt melted away and her heart throbbed a little harder. She crossed the distance between her and her husband and laid her hand on his arm.
“You were afraid,” she said softly.
He jerked around, his eyes blazing. “Afraid? I was bloody terrified! I carried you to our chamber sure that I would find some grievous wound. I looked for blood or a bruise, something to suggest that I had harmed you.”
She wrapped her arms around his waist and leaned her head against his chest. For the longest time he stood rigid in her arms, not returning her embrace. Then slowly, he circled her shoulders and crushed her to him.
He rested his cheek on the top of her head and held her so tightly that she could scarcely breathe. He trembled against her, and it awed her that this fierce warrior had been afraid. For her. That he shook with it. It shamed her that she’d thought even for a moment that he didn’t want their child, even if it was a logical conclusion at the time.
Now she wanted confirmation. She wanted to hear it from his own lips that he was joyous over her pregnancy.
“So you’re happy about the babe?”
Her question was muffled by his chest, but he went still and then slowly drew her away so that he looked down into her eyes.
“Happy? I think happy is too mundane a word. There are many words that accurately describe my reaction. Wonder. Aye, wonder. ’Tis not something I’ve contemplated until recently, and even then I spoke as a man boasting to be boasting. It didn’t really settle with me that I would become a father until Sarah bore the news to me in the hallway. The image hit me with force enough to stagger me. I had to quit the keep and go out alone lest I completely unman myself in front of others.”
His fingers touched her cheek and grazed along her jaw.
“Fear. I was immediately filled with such fear like I’ve never felt. Fear that I wouldn’t be able to protect our child from men like Duncan Cameron. That if we had a daughter she would be as Mairin had been for most of her life. Always hiding, always living in fear of discovery. Wary of being used by a man for what she could bring through the birth of a child.”
She reached up to palm his cheek and he turned into her hand, brushing a kiss across her flesh.
“And joy, Rionna. ’Tis God’s truth I experienced a burst of joy that is indescribable. I imagined a daughter with your beauty and strength and a son with your spirit and stubbornness.”
She laughed. “And you, husband? What think you that our children will inherit from you?”
“I care not as long as they are healthy and that you deliver them free of complication.”
She hugged him again. “I’m sorry I worried you. ’Tis the truth I didn’t know I was with child, I swear it. I would have taken more care in our training.”
He clutched her shoulders and pulled her away from him, his expression one of utmost seriousness. “You’ll not lay hands on a sword again. ’Tis done with, this foolish idea of yours.”
“But, Caelen, now that we know, we can fashion our sparring so that no harm is done to our child. ’Tis important I am able to protect myself and our child.”
“I will protect what is mine,” he said fiercely. “I will take no chances with your health or that of our child.”
“But—”
He held up a hand. “ ’Tis not up for debate. ’Tis my final word on the matter.”
She sighed but couldn’t bring herself to be irritated when she could still see the worry shadowed in his eyes.
“Now come here, wife. I have need to hold you.”
She smiled and went into his arms. He kissed her hungrily, framing her face and holding her in place as he ravaged her mouth.
He slid his hands down her body, coming to stop at her waist. Then he placed his palm over the flat of her belly through the folds of her cloak. Suddenly impatient, he pulled at the material until she was free of the garment and standing only in her nightdress. Then his hand returned to her stomach and he held it there as he stared into her eyes.
“My son or daughter,” he said hoarsely. “I’d not thought I’d ever have children.”
“Do you like the thought now?” she asked with a smile.
“Oh aye,” he said softly. “I find I like the idea very much. I owe you an apology, Rionna.”
She put her finger to his lips and then followed it with a kiss. “It’s been an eventful day for both of us. Perhaps ’twould be best if we go to bed and start fresh on the morrow.”
“You’ve a very generous spirit, wife.”
“There is something I want in return,” she said as she slid one hand down to cup him intimately.
His eyes gleamed with quick understanding. “Oh? And what is that?”
She continued to caress him through the material of his trews. “A good husband would be mindful of his wife in her present condition. She needs lots of care and attention.”
“Does she now?”
“Oh aye, she does,” Rionna whispered. “Lots of tender, loving handling by her husband.”
“I think I can accommodate her.”
He bent and picked her up and walked to the bed where he lowered her onto the straw mattress.
“In fact, I think I should give her lots of extra loving.”
“Oh, I do, too,” Rionna breathed.
He stood back and stripped off his clothing, and then he leaned over her and worked the gown over her head until she was naked and breathless beneath him.
For a long moment he simply stood over her and stared down at her body. Then he cupped both hands over her belly before kneeling on the floor in front of her. He parted his hands and then pressed a kiss to her stomach, so soft and tender that her heart felt near to bursting.
She smoothed her hands over his hair and then dug her fingers into his scalp, holding him against the very heart of her.
“You hold our future in your womb, lass,” Caelen murmured against her belly. “ ’Tis what binds our two clans and makes them one.”
“ ’Tis an important obligation you give our child.”
He kissed her again and then kissed a path down to the juncture of her legs. With gentle fingers, he parted her flesh and pressed his tongue to the sensitive flesh at her core.
She moaned softly and writhed beneath his mouth as he loved her with his lips and tongue. He was exceedingly patient, never tiring as he brought her wave after wave of pleasure.
He pushed her to the brink only to let up and let the tide slowly recede. Then he’d work her back up again, each time more intense than the last.
He left her panting for breath and so tense that her muscles ached. She begged for him to stop and then for him never to stop. Her hoarse pleas rose, each one making less sense than the last.
Then his mouth left her and he fitted his cock to her opening and slid deep in one forceful lunge. His body blanketed hers, warming her to the bone. Never had she felt quite so safe, like nothing could ever hurt her.
He was inside her, not just physically, but in her heart and soul. He was all she could think of, all she could see and hear. He’d spoken of her carrying their future, but he was her future. He was all she wanted. All she needed.
There was no sign of her rough, possessive lover this night. The man who’d so ruthlessly taken her so many nights past had been replaced by a gentle warrior who treated her as though she were infinitely fragile, a priceless treasure to be cherished above all else.
He held her to him and stroked back and forth, gliding effortlessly through her damp heat. Through it all, his mouth never left her flesh. He kissed her lips, her cheeks, her eyelids, and then he nuzzled down to her ear and below to her neck.
Never had she been so thoroughly worshipped by a man, not even by her husband till now. He’d loved her, aye. He’d loved her as well as a man could ever love a wife, but there was a marked difference this night.
Tonight … ’twas as if he loved her with his heart instead of just his body. Tonight, she loved him not just with her body, but with her very soul.
When she cried out with her release, he held her against him, not taking his own until he’d seen to her pleasure. Then and only then did he thrust deep and empty himself into her depths.
Afterward, she snuggled into his arms and laid her head on his shoulder. He was hard and sticky between her thighs, but she cared not. She didn’t want to separate herself from him for the time it would take to cleanse them both.
She held him close until his breathing became deep and even. He was wholly relaxed against her, limp and sated and so very warm.
She sighed and stroked a hand over his shoulder, knowing he was already asleep.
“I love you, husband. ’Tis the truth I never expected to give you my heart. I know not if it’s even what you want from me, but ’tis yours all the same. Someday … Someday I’ll have yours in return,” she whispered against his skin.
She closed her eyes and settled against him, fatigue sliding over her skin like a blanket. Within moments she, too, slept.
Caelen lay in the dark, his arms tight around Rionna as she slept. Her words echoed in his ears, playing over and over again until he knew they were no trick of his hearing.
His wife loved him. He knew not what to make of this development. He’d loved before and it had come to no good and yet he knew that love existed. He’d seen it between his brothers and their wives. He knew his brothers loved their women with a ferocity uncommon to most marriages.
Love required sacrifice. It required trust and faith. It required making yourself completely vulnerable to the one you loved.
The thought sent a knot deep into his belly.
The last time he’d offered a woman his complete trust and faith, she’d destroyed his clan.