Forever. He’d stay with her forever if he had to. Allen couldn’t explain it, but he wanted to make certain this little monster of attitude was safe.
She’d become his personal penance. Maybe because he’d failed to protect others he’d cared about, somehow that emotion and guilt had transferred to her. Hell, he wasn’t a psychiatrist. He didn’t know all the subconscious reasons he’d stepped up again where she was concerned. Attraction, respect, the connection she had with people he did still care about, how loyal and protective she was of those people. Just genuine human concern for someone he knew. All of those could be a factor.
She pulled him in a way he had never thought a woman ever would again. Allen wasn’t going to overlook that. Attraction was a damned powerful motivator.
Hell, maybe it had been the storm they’d gone through together. Maybe it had woken him up from the cloud he’d been under since Jess.
Izzie had more strength and courage in her little finger than any other woman he had ever met. She had a right to be cranky right now. “I’m not going to leave you to deal with this alone. We have almost fifty thousand dollars in cash in the bottom of my bag. We can travel a long time with that. There are places we can stay that people won’t be able to track you that easily. I’m not going anywhere. You can count on me. I’m not leaving you to face this alone. I promise.”
He needed someone to count on him.
Realization slammed into him. He’d failed people who mattered most to him—Shelby, Logan, Jess. Nikkie Jean. The guilt of that would stick for a long, long time. Probably forever.
Allen needed to ensure he was the kind of man people who mattered could depend on. It wasn’t about her—it was about him. He was with her because of his reasons and needs. Not just hers.
He didn’t know if that was a selfish reason or not.
“But why? Why me, Jacobson? We haven’t exactly gotten along all that well. Why is it you that’s always there whenever I’m about to die?”
“I don’t know. Luck. Fate. Karma, maybe. Something pulling us together that I can’t understand.” He was going to go for it. To get it out there between them so they could move on. She’d probably be as jumpy as a cat until he did.
Acting like he was going to pounce on her the instant she turned her back.
He wouldn’t mind that, honestly. Not when she was so battered and bruised.
He cupped her soft cheek again. He leaned closer. He brushed his lips across hers for only a millisecond. When he pulled back big brown eyes more beautiful than any he’d ever seen stared at him. Wide. Shocked.
Well. She couldn’t have been that clueless about how he felt. Even still groggy from pain meds. Though she’d been pretty damned lucid since he’d parked and woke her to move her to the bed.
Her lower lip trembled. The urge to kiss her again slammed into him. Yes. This was one reason he was there.
For the first time since Jess, he was attracted to a beautiful woman again. Beautiful, intriguing, utterly maddening.
“There is this. You draw me more than anyone has since—before. But it’s you I dream about at night now. I have since the storm. Now, sleep, woman. It’s almost two a.m. I want to hit the store as soon as it opens at eight, for a day’s worth of food. I figured we’ll find a spot and hole up in the morning, where you can sleep the rest of the day away if you need it.” He reached overhead and flicked off the bed light. “You can yell and fuss at me for kissing you then.”
She burrowed down under the blankets like a little mouse, hiding from him.
She hadn’t said a word since he’d kissed her. Allen smiled. He’d have to kiss her more often, every opportunity he got.
He’d thrown her. She hadn’t realized he was attracted to her. He’d bet good money on that.
He didn’t know how she could have missed it. Even Rafe had noticed. He hadn’t questioned Allen when he’d volunteered to protect Izzie. Not even once.
Because the other man had understood.
So had Elliot Marshall.
Nikkie Jean had hugged him and thanked him for being such a good friend.
The attraction would play itself out or not. He was just going to do his best to keep Izzie alive in the interim.
The gun was next to his side of the bed. He had parked the van against a wooden fence, between two idling semis. His body was between hers and the doors. He would keep himself between her and any threat.
He lay there for a while, contemplating the strange turn life had taken him on.
One thing was clear.
She had become his world.
That thought kept him awake another hour or so.
She slid into sleep a lot easier, likely still feeling a bit of the sedative they’d used. Nikkie Jean had informed him that Izzie was one of those people who was extra sensitive to drugs of any kind. They’d given her the lowest dose possible to maintain effectiveness, and it had still knocked Izzie out for hours. He’d have to be aware of that.
When she woke, she’d be in pain. He was sore, too, but it was nothing compared to what she’d face in the morning. It would take a few days before either of them was up for much.
He’d have to take that into account.
It might be best to get enough supplies to last for a few days, then hole up somewhere safe. Off the grid.
He lay there for a long while contemplating exactly what they’d need and how he was going to make this work. She’d shifted closer, and before he knew it, he had his arm around her and her head pillowed on his chest, helping to keep her warm. Soft, silky hair brushed against his cheek. Allen just held her.