Chris was an angry and frustrated 16-year-old who had a problem communicating with his parents. He felt they did not trust him and the restrictions they imposed on him were ridiculous.
Chris had to be home by 7 pm on weekdays, and on weekends, he was only allowed to stay out until 11.30 pm at night. Most of his friends stayed out way past midnight on weekends, with no questions asked. His entreaties to his father to stop treating him like a child fell on deaf ears. In defiance, Chris would return home past his curfew hour each time, and for this he would be reprimanded by his angry father.
When Chris approached me for advice (after I had directed a few Super-Teen camps, I became an unofficial counsellor to troubled teens), the first thing I told him was that he was responsible for his parents’ mistrust of him. Chris was surprised but he listened carefully when I explained that if he wanted things to change, he would have to change his behaviour first. ‘How?’ he wanted to know and I gave him a few pointers.
So a changed Chris began returning home before his curfew expired. He also began cleaning his own room without been reminded to. His mother was further pleasantly surprised when he began helping out in the kitchen. Then, one night, when he had planned to go out to the cinema, he told his surprised father, ‘I think I’ll stay at home tonight. I’ve a class test tomorrow and I do not feel I’ve prepared enough for it.’
Guess what happened next? Well, his parents began changing the way they regarded him and that changed their behaviour towards him. They began to regard him as a mature and responsible young man and, after a month, gave him more freedom!
Chapter 4 • I Believe I Can Fly… So I Can!
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