10

 

Sometimes I still experienced the empty nest feeling, missing my only daughter, so that afternoon when the phone rang I was excited to see it was Elianna. I grabbed the receiver and rushed to my glider rocker.

“Hey, honey, I’m so glad you’re calling. How are you and that hubby of yours?” I stretched my legs out on the couch.

“We’re good.” Her tone sounded low.

“I’m not convinced.”

“It’s just … Mom, I wonder if I’m truly doing something of worth for God. I want to. And, I want to complement and support Brad in ministry.” She sighed. “I wish I could know and be bold like you.”

I smiled and thought back to the process God had brought me through. “Honey, you know I haven’t always been bold. I had to pray and trust God to lead me. When He answered my prayer, then I had to battle to leave my comfort zone. I’ll pray He’ll show you exactly what He wants you to do.”

“Thanks, Mom.”

I meandered back into the family room and plopped onto the couch.

“Everything OK?” Griffey flipped through the TV channels and sighed. “There’s nothing worth watching.”

“Yeah Elianna just needed to talk a minute.” I ran my hand over the book on the couch beside me. “Hon, I never told you I heard the nudging whisper when I was diagnosed.”

He aimed the remote and punched the power button causing the TV screen to go black. He angled his body my way. “Really? You mean telling you to help others?”

I nodded. “Yeah. I was a little perturbed at first. I mean, I was the one with the breast cancer— someone should bless me. But, even through this, I know God has used me. Like with Penny—I was able to encourage her because I’ve been there. But …”

“But what?”

“Well, I’ve met Carolyn Moore’s daughter at the radiation treatments. Her name’s Julie. Griffey, she’s so bitter toward God. She thinks she’s being punished, and her mother’s prayers are an obvious waste of time since she still struggles with cancer. I want to reach out to her, but she’s so resistant.”

Griffey moved next to me on the couch and put his arm around my shoulders. “All you can do is your part. Julie has to decide for herself.”

I sighed. “I know.” I laid my head on his chest. I was praying God would help me do my part to be what Julie needed.

 

****

 

As I sat at my old oak desk the next morning reading further in the First Peter passage, it was as if I’d never read it at all. How could I have missed so much?

“But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have.”

I meditated on those words. Even in this season of suffering, I was truly blessed. Only God could make that happen. He had given me the opportunity to share His hope with Julie. Lord, please let me be prepared to give that answer.

I was still reading at my desk when the phone rang. “Hello?”

“Addy?”

“Yes, this is Addy.” I didn’t recognize the voice or the number. I was mentally trying to think through who this could be since she had called me by my first name.

“This is Julie. Did I interrupt you?”

My heart skipped a beat. “No, I’m glad you called.”

“Is there any way we could meet for lunch?”

“Sure. Where and when?” I grabbed a pen from the World’s Greatest Mom cup Elianna had given me when she was ten.

“How about Jersey Girl? Do you know it?” Julie’s tone actually sounded somewhat upbeat.

“Yes, I’ve been wanting to try it. How about 12:30?” I was having trouble forming words, trying to get past the shock of Julie calling me.

“Perfect, I’ll see you there.”

Staring at my phone for several minutes, I couldn’t believe she called. I should, God was working, but that was certainly a quick answer to my prayers. I immediately texted Griffey, asking him to pray for me.

I arrived at the small restaurant before Julie. I requested the vacant booth in the back and moments after being seated, Julie entered. She spotted my waving hand and weaved her way past the many chattering patrons and plopped down across from me with a heavy sigh. She wore a pink cap with the breast cancer ribbon on it. Her face didn’t appear made of hard granite today. I was relieved at the softened expression.

I glanced down at my open menu. “What do you suggest?”

“If you like fish, the grouper sandwich is the best. Of course, I’ve never had anything here I didn’t like.” She dug around in her purse and pulled out a small pill case. Then, she glanced at the screen of her cell phone and laid it on the table with the case. She appeared relieved when the waitress appeared.

We placed our orders, and our drinks were delivered. I sipped on my diet soda fiddling with the straw. Would I need to start conversation or would she? Julie folded her arms and propped them on the table.

“I guess you’re wondering why I called?”

I simply looked her in the eyes and smiled.

She diverted her gaze from me to the table, straightening her napkin and silverware. “After my treatment, I went home and found the Bible my mom gave me a few years ago. I read until late.” She chuckled and met my gaze. “My mother had marked various verses.” She gnawed her bottom lip. “Most of them said exactly what you said—that God loves me.”

“So, do you believe it? Do you believe He loves you?”

“I want to.” Her expression was one of desperation. “I’m ashamed to say that I learned to tune my mother’s preaching to me completely out.”

“Well, let’s start simple. Julie, do you believe that Jesus is the Son of God who died for you?”

“Yes.” Her voice was filled with emotion.

“You simply admit you’re a sinner, ask for His forgiveness, and then ask Him to come into your life as leader and boss.”

A tear rolled down her cheek. She bowed her head and prayed. Tears now flowed from her eyes.

And I cried with her. I didn’t even try to stop.

When she finally looked up, something was different in her face, her demeanor. She smiled a lopsided smile through the tears. The stone façade had crumbled. Her eyes appeared more alive and devoid of anger.

We were still wiping our eyes when the waitress arrived holding our plates and staring wide-eyed. She stepped forward setting our food on the table. “I’m sorry. I can come back...”

Julie waved her hand. “No problem. Everything’s OK now.” She dabbed at tears with her napkin and grinned at me.

If I hadn’t been required to have radiation therapy...I couldn’t believe that at that moment I was actually thankful for my illness. Conrad was right. Some situations didn’t seem to contain blessing, but they did. God brought good from cancer. Amazing.

As we ate our meal, we chatted like two old friends. Julie shared more about her cancer journey. She asked me about being a pastor’s wife and my cancer experience so far. We even found ourselves talking about her mother.

I was still filled with joy at the end of the meal as I took her check. “I’ve got this.” I waved her ticket.

“Thanks for meeting me.”

“Thanks for calling me. I’m so happy for you. I think I know someone else that will be ecstatic.”

She nodded. “My mom.” She grinned. “I’m gonna call her on my way home.” She sipped her soda. “I don’t know what she’ll pray about now.” She giggled.

We rose and made our way to the small counter to pay. As we stepped outside onto the sidewalk, Julie touched my arm. I pulled her into an embrace. I stepped back. “I guess I’ll see ya at radiation therapy.”

“And you’ll see me at church.”

I nodded.

I wanted to skip to my car but refrained lest someone think I’d totally lost my mind. But, I was skipping and dancing on the inside, thanking God for yet another miracle He let me experience.