Charlotte sat across the table from Daniel, a white linen atop the small square table, with a tea light flickering between them. In the dimly lit room, soft music played seductively in the background as the aroma of sun-roasted tomatoes teased her palate for the meal that was to come.
Daniel had never looked more handsome. His dark hair was freshly cut, his bangs high above his eyebrows, a look Charlotte had grown to love. His gray eyes sung to hers in the ambience of the quiet restaurant. Tonight was the night.
“You look beautiful,” he said as he gazed into her eyes.
Charlotte had chosen black slacks, a dark blue blouse, and her black furry coat. Simple yet elegant, she hoped. She’d curled her wet hair with foam curlers earlier in the day, letting it dry into a slight wave that fell almost to her waist. She’d left her house feeling good about Andrea and Bella. They’d all been sleeping in Charlotte’s bed each night, Bella in the middle of the two women. When Charlotte left, they were both tucked in, even though it wasn’t dark yet. Bella’s eyelids had been heavy, and Andrea had been working on a necklace she was making.
“Thank you,” she said to Daniel. “You clean up well yourself.” Smiling, she’d been thinking about this night since she’d left Lena. Seeing Lena in the wheelchair had left Charlotte with the realization that life was short. Being around Bella had made her feel like she could truly be a good mother. She was ready. When Daniel asked her to marry him, she was going to say yes.
“I know you like Italian food. I’ve only been here once before, a long time ago. But it was really gut.” Daniel glanced around the room before he looked back at Charlotte.
She wasn’t exactly clear about Amish protocol when proposing, but she suspected that Daniel would meet her somewhere in the middle, a proposal that was both Amish and Englisch in nature. Would he drop to one knee, which would surely draw attention to himself?
It didn’t matter. Charlotte loved him, and the Plain People were her family. She couldn’t imagine being anywhere else. Buttered bread for life. Only thing was, she would have to give up Big Red and driving. But learning to maneuver a horse and buggy could be exciting.
She was still concerned about failure, but something Lena had said resonated with Charlotte in a big way. “Not trying to live the way the Lord intended us to, now that’s failure.”
They fell into an easy conversation about Andrea and Bella, and then Daniel told Charlotte about his Aunt Faye’s yodeling at the hospital. As they both laughed, ordered, and enjoyed each other’s company, Charlotte waited. And waited. And before she knew it, they’d finished off a three-course meal and Daniel was paying the bill.
Maybe he was going to wait until she dropped him off at his house to propose? It seemed like he would have asked her to marry him at the restaurant.
It was a quiet ride home with occasional chatter about their jobs. Daniel commented on how great the food was, and he told Charlotte again how beautiful she looked. At his house, Daniel leaned over to her and kissed her in a way that made Charlotte long to be his wife, then he said good night and she thanked him again for dinner—or supper—as the Amish called the last meal of the day.
Charlotte had been the one calling the shots in the relationship for so long that despair fell over her all of a sudden. She’d made up her mind that she wanted a life with Daniel, and not only did he not propose, but he didn’t mention anything about marriage or even hint at a future together.
Andrea was standing on the other side of the front door when Charlotte got home and entered the living room.
“Well, did he propose? Was there a ring? Did you set a date?” Andrea grinned, clapping her hands softly.
“No. He didn’t.”
Andrea’s expression fell as she lowered her arms to her sides. “Um. Okay. How was the food?”
Charlotte gave her sister a thin-lipped smile. “Great. The food was great.”
Annie closed the door behind Daniel Sunday morning, wishing him well at the hospital. Normally, Sunday was reserved for relaxation and devotions, even on Sundays when there wasn’t a worship service, but Annie didn’t think the hospital staff cared much about that. They just wanted Aunt Faye to stop the racket, and they’d called Daniel’s phone again early this morning.
Today was a scheduled church service, but both Annie and Daniel had chosen not to attend. He needed to handle Aunt Faye, and Annie couldn’t drive the buggy and keep Grace warm during the commute, and it didn’t appear their father had plans to go anywhere.
“Aenti Faye is just trying to wake up your mamm,” Annie whispered to Grace as she held the baby close, feeding her a bottle of formula. She smiled thinking about Aunt Faye going to such extreme measures.
Annie and Daniel had eaten breakfast before Daniel left, but their father hadn’t come out of the bedroom yet. Would their lives ever be normal again? If her mother never woke up, she feared that they would feel the void forever. And Annie worried that her father wouldn’t survive the grief.
Shouldn’t Daed be comforting his kinner at a time like this, or does role reversal begin when a person reaches adulthood? Annie wasn’t sure. She still felt like a kid most days, not the eighteen-year-old woman she’d become.
She held Gracie close, then prayed for all of them.
Daniel stopped at the nurse’s station on the wing where his mother’s room was.
“Thank goodness you’re here,” the nurse named Wanda said as she stood between two other women. “That woman is driving us crazy, and every time we ask her to be quiet, she threatens to use a baseball bat on us.” Wanda threw up her hands. “We haven’t seen a baseball bat, but who knows? If you hadn’t shown up, we were going to have security escort her out.” She shook her head. “We’d hate to do that, considering the state your mother is in and the grief you must be feeling, but we have to think about the needs of our other patients too.”
“Ya, I understand.”
He eased the door to his mother’s room open. All was quiet, just the sounds of the air machine keeping his mother alive, the beeps on the monitors . . . and Aunt Faye’s raspy snoring from the lounging chair. The lingering smell of pickled oysters hung in the air.
Daniel walked to the side of his mother’s bed, then leaned down and kissed her on the cheek. This was the first time he’d been alone with her. Almost alone, just Aunt Faye in dreamland nearby.
“I love you, Mamm,” he whispered. “And we miss you.” He found her hand and put it in his. He stayed standing, holding his mother’s hand, until Aunt Faye awakened.
“What are you doing here so early?” Aunt Faye’s gray hair was a balled-up mess on top of her head, and her eyes were dark and puffy. It looked like she’d been crying.
“I came to relieve you. Annie needs you at home, to help with the boppli and Daed.” Daniel and Annie had agreed this was the best way to handle their aunt.
“Is your father giving you children trouble already?” Aunt Faye sat on the edge of the chair, pushing hair from her face. “I thought I made it clear to him how things were going to be.”
Daniel held his tongue, opting not to tell his aunt that she was being thrown out. “It’s just a lot for Annie, that’s all. And I think you’d be a bigger help to her than me. I don’t have any jobs scheduled for a few days, so I can sit with Mamm.”
“Well, of course I’ll be a bigger help to Annie than you will.” Aunt Faye grunted. “Women invariably take up the slack when a man becomes too emotionally disabled to go on. It’s what’s expected of us, and we deliver.” She cut her eyes at Daniel. “And men don’t.” She pointed a long, crooked finger at him. “And you don’t just sit here with your mamm. You need to talk to her. Sing to her, if you can carry a tune. I realize most folks can’t sing the way I can, but you can at least try.”
Daniel nodded. Despite leaving the Old Order, being shunned, and her husband dying, Aunt Faye still loved her niece very much. But as Daniel looked at the person who used to be his mother, shriveling into a lifeless form he didn’t recognize, he again wondered if they were doing the right thing by allowing this to go on.
“I’m taking my pickled oysters with me, the ones left in my little ice chest.” Aunt Faye pointed to a small red cooler nearby. “Every time I take some out and put them on a plate, they vanish.” She shook her head as more hair toppled from the loose bun on her head. “If those nurses would just ask politely, I would make them their own batch, but they are a catty bunch out there.” She nodded toward the door. “They’re constantly complaining about something.”
Daniel knew the nurses disposed of the oysters when the smell became too rank. He suspected the vanishing oysters went missing while Aunt Faye was snoring. She stood and brushed wrinkles from her light green dress. Her clothing was Mennonite, so her dresses were adorned with little flowers or other patterns. And she wasn’t bothered if she didn’t have her head covered.
“I’ll go tend to your father, sister, and baby Grace.” Aunt Faye scowled. “And you try to make good use of the time you’re here.” His aunt rolled her eyes before she left the room.
Daniel hoped she’d walk quietly by the nurse’s station without causing a ruckus. He cringed when he heard Aunt Faye out in the hallway. Yodeling.
Andrea sat perfectly still on the couch, unsure how to react to Blake’s text. Her ex-boyfriend often fooled people into thinking he was someone he wasn’t. He had a steadiness about him that would imply he rarely got ruffled. And he was handsome in a cowboy sort of way, with a gentle smile that lent him an air of trustworthiness. Blake was confident and friendly, but he had some anger issues that rose to the surface from time to time. But would he really hurt Bella or me?
She reread the text for the tenth time.
I’m warning you, Andrea. If you get me in trouble with the police, you’ll be sorry.
After staring at his text for a while, she reread the one she’d sent him.
You stole Charlotte’s money, you scumbag. We are reporting you to the police, and I hope you rot in jail. I knew you were nothing but trash. You might fool some people, but you don’t fool me. Don’t come around me or my family again.
Andrea tapped a finger to her chin as she contemplated a reply. Finally she sent him a return text.
Are you threatening me?
She waited.
Not a threat, babe. A promise.
A shiver ran the length of Andrea’s spine. Whether or not Blake was capable of violence, she couldn’t risk it because of Bella. She chose not to reply, but after about ten minutes, she got another text.
Meet me tomorrow afternoon outside the Amish Market at three o’clock. And bring Bella. I miss her.
Andrea stared at the text, then she looked at Bella playing with two toy cars on the floor. No more texting with Blake. Andrea was just going to put her past behind her.
She picked up her box of beads and matched up three pink ones to make into a necklace, but her phone buzzed beside her.
And you better be there.
Andrea shivered as she thought about whether or not to tell Charlotte about this. Charlotte didn’t want her to try to get the money back. She said to leave it alone. But I didn’t.
Charlotte stopped in town after church service. She needed milk and cream cheese for a holiday recipe she wanted to try out later. Maybe she could snap out of the funk she had settled into. Even a good night’s sleep hadn’t diminished the disappointment she felt about Daniel not proposing.
When she got home and opened the front door, Bella was crying, Andrea had her face in her hands on the couch, and the fire had died out.
“What’s wrong?” Charlotte put her purse and grocery bag on the coffee table when Bella ran to her, arms stretched above her head. She scooped her niece into her arms.
“Nothing’s wrong. Bella is just fussy, and I’ve got a headache.”
“Sweet girl, you’re okay.” Charlotte bounced Bella on her hip until she calmed down. “Mommy just has a headache.”
Andrea’s bottom lip trembled, though, and Charlotte suspected more was going on. “Are you sure that’s all, just a headache?”
“It’s not just a headache. It hurts.”
“There’s aspirin in the bathroom. Did you take some?” Charlotte sat in the rocking chair, Bella in her lap, and kicked the chair into motion.
“No. I’ll go get some.” Andrea huffed as she stood, then shuffled toward the bathroom.
Charlotte stopped rocking when Andrea’s text beeped with a new message. Instinctively, Charlotte looked that way, and she could see the message from where she was sitting.
I’m not kidding, Andrea. You better be at the Amish Market at three o’clock tomorrow . . . or else.
Charlotte hadn’t realized her sister and Blake were still communicating.
“I took two ibuprofen,” Andrea said as she walked back into the living room. “Do you think that’s enough?”
“Um . . . yeah. Probably so.” Charlotte nodded toward the phone. “You have a text.” She narrowed her eyebrows, frowning. “And I saw it. What does ‘or else’ mean?”
Andrea grunted as she rolled her eyes. “Really? You read my text message?”
“Your phone is sitting in plain view. What does that mean, Andrea?” Charlotte’s heart raced as she clung to Bella. Something in her gut told her trouble was brewing.
“Nothing. It’s just Blake being a jerk. No worries, okay?”
Too late. Charlotte was already concerned. But, for now, she’d let it go.
Daniel sat in a chair beside his mother, praying silently for God to interject wisdom and guidance into a situation Daniel and his family didn’t know how to handle. More and more, he thought they were doing his mother an injustice by not letting her go home to be with the Lord. Lena’s words stayed on Daniel’s mind, how she wouldn’t want to be kept alive in this way.
“Mamm, what should we do?” Daniel leaned closer to her. “We want to do the right thing.”
Did it even matter? Ultimately, it was their father’s decision, and he was having no part of unhooking her from these machines.
Each day felt like a new day of mourning, grieving a life still on earth, but one that was gone just the same.
As the familiar churning started up in his stomach, Daniel switched gears, turning his thoughts to Charlotte, how beautiful she’d looked the night before. He’d wanted nothing more than to drop to one knee, to beg her to stay with him for a lifetime, and to be the mother of his children. But Charlotte continued to have a lot on her plate, and so did Daniel. They could both find comfort in each other, handling things together, but he wanted to tread softly. Charlotte had come a long way. But the woman Daniel loved still hadn’t committed to converting to the Amish way of life.
He wished he could talk to his mother.
Closing his eyes, he allowed himself to rest his head against the back of the chair, his breathing in rhythm with the beeping machines and bursts of air from the ventilator.
He looked up when he heard his name. “Wie bischt, Jacob.” Daniel stifled a yawn. He hadn’t gotten much sleep last night. “What brings you here this afternoon?” His heart skipped a beat. “Is Lena okay?”
“Ya, ya. Mamm is doing gut today. Annie told me you were here, and I wanted to talk to you about something.”
“Okay.” Daniel stayed seated and motioned to the other chair.
Jacob sat and heaved a sigh. “Do you think people can change?”
Daniel was sure this was going to be about Jacob wanting to reunite with Annie, citing himself as a changed man. “Ya, I think so.”
The lines on young Jacob’s forehead wrinkled as he scratched his chin. “I think I’ve changed. I don’t feel the need to leave here, to leave our people. I want to make a home in Lancaster County, like all the generations before me.” He searched Daniel’s eyes. “A home with Annie.”
Frowning, Daniel sighed also. “Jacob, you’ve gone back and forth so many times about this, it makes a person wonder if you have a clue what you want. Have you told Annie this?”
“I haven’t formally asked her to marry me, but I want to prove myself to her by getting baptized soon. I had the baptismal classes a long time ago, and I spoke with the bishop about it. He said even though it’s the holidays and not the normal time for baptisms, he would make an exception.”
Daniel felt one of the many loads he was carrying lighten a little. Although he figured the bishop’s expedience was probably out of fear that young Jacob would change his mind again. “I think that’s a fine idea, if you’re sure about it.”
“I’m sure,” Jacob responded without the hesitation Daniel had expected.
Jacob had left to seek out the world and apparently decided it wasn’t for him. But throughout it all, Daniel still thought of Jacob as a good person, no matter his wishy-washy ways when it came to leaving or staying in their district.
Jacob hung his head. “And there’s something else. I wasn’t completely honest about my job.” He kept his eyes down. “Ya, I worked for a pharmaceutical company, but the medications weren’t the kind that save lives, like I’d thought at first. I was more of what the Englisch call a ‘drug runner,’ someone who delivers illegal medications to people that will pay a lot of money for them. And I wasn’t very good at it. The Big Rabbit”—Jacob looked up—“that’s the man in charge—he fired me. He said I looked nervous all the time. I wasn’t nervous in the beginning, but that’s before I knew what I was delivering.”
He paused as his bottom lip trembled. “I ain’t proud of what I’ve done. I’m just trying to be honest. I did some bad stuff. It’s behind me, and I want to be baptized and marry Annie. I’m going to tell her everything so there are no secrets between us. I’m a changed man. I’ve seen the outside world, and I know for sure that I don’t want any part of it.”
“I hope you mean that, because I don’t think Annie’s heart can go another round with you, Jacob. Even now, I’m not sure she’ll believe you.”
“And that’s something I may have to work on. But I just wanted you to know my intentions.”
“I appreciate that.” Daniel wondered if maybe Jacob should have had this conversation with Daed, but this was probably better under the circumstances.
Jacob stood and walked closer to the hospital bed. “I’m real sorry about Eve. We pray for her every day, the same way we pray for the Lord to heal Mamm.”
“Danki. We pray for Lena too.”
Daniel waited until Jacob was gone before he picked up his cell phone to call Charlotte. He got her voice mail. Again. She had left him a message earlier and told him about a meeting that Andrea had tomorrow morning with her ex-boyfriend, the man Daniel had met at Janell’s funeral, Blake. Charlotte said she was worried about Andrea going, based on a text message she’d seen.
Daniel called a couple hours later and there was still no answer. He couldn’t in good conscience leave his mother. He’d just have to keep trying to reach Charlotte.