Last day of school before the Christmas break, so it was v intensely busy. On top of everything else, I had to race to the shop during lunch because I left all my Christmas cards at home (the Mad Cow was nagging me this morning as per usual so I totally forgot about them). I got fifteen cards (including one from Ms Staples, my English teacher and a constant source of inspiration to me), and a present from Siranee, who’s going up north for the holidays.
Went round to Disha’s after school to discuss the Dark Phase. Disha agrees that since we both turn seventeen next year (D’s Libra and I’m Scorpio), it’s an excruciatingly important time for us and if we’re ever going to REALLY LIVE and not just go through the motions like our parents we’d better start preparing for it now. Also we’re both very Creative and Artistic, and it’s the Great Artists and Writers who have always known how to suffer. If they’re not killing themselves or hacking off body parts then they’re full of doom and gloom and muttering about how awful everything is (Disha says she reckons Shakespeare was always in a Dark Phase). We owe it to ourselves to explore the Deep End of the Pool of Life. D and I decided the Dark Phase will begin on the Stroke of Midnight on New Year’s Eve. We’re going to be intense, serious, intellectually and spiritually curious and adventurous, and spend a lot of time nurturing our Souls. To do this we’re going to read poetry and great literature, really get into art and serious films, and wear mainly black clothes and make-up so everyone will know how deeply we experience things etc. I’m v glad I changed my mind about chucking this diary. The Dark Phase and all its revelations, understandings and epiphanies MUST be recorded!!!
The Mad Cow and Sigmund were arguing again at supper. (If things go on like this much longer, I’m going to demand combat pay.) The MC was all wound up because when Sigmund said he’d take her Christmas shopping tonight she didn’t think he was going to invite half of his single parents group along as well (this, of course, was a GROSS exaggeration on the MC’s part; it was only Mrs Kennedy). Anyway, when they broke for air I took the opportunity to make my announcement re the Dark Phase. It really is the season of miracles, because for once (to my utter amazement) they were all listening. Sigmund said, “Does this mean you’re leaving Earth’s orbit for good?” The Mad Cow said I could forget getting any money from HER for a new wardrobe (as if!), and Justin, keeping to his policy of being as difficult and bloody-minded as possible, said that it wasn’t the Great Artists and Writers who understood suffering, it was the poor sods nobody’d ever heard of. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? My brother the philistine Neanderthal. Justin said that if I wanted to get in touch with the deepest levels of human angst I should try living on the streets! I didn’t even stay for pudding after that. I went straight to my room. Obviously I’m starting the Dark Phase not a moment too soon!!!