Nan’s all wound up because she read in the paper that according to some poll nearly fifty per cent of the population has no idea why we celebrate Easter. I said I thought it had something to do with the founding of Cadbury. Both Justin and the MC laughed, which is pretty much a first for one of MY jokes. Nan said she just hoped I was joking.
Instead of the Easter Bunny, the Easter Bethsheba turned up at the door with a v peculiar-looking hard-boiled egg for my brother. She said she made it herself. I said it looked like it’d been cooked in tea and she said it was, in Darjeeling. Then she wanted to know if Just was back from Greece yet. (So THAT explains why she hasn’t been haunting our road lately!!!) It took me a few seconds to absorb this. I was about to say oh yes, he’s back and he’s sitting in the kitchen right now, when Nan suddenly loomed up behind me and shouted right in my ear that something had gone wrong with Justin’s flight and we had no idea WHEN he was getting back. Bethsheba said oh, but before she could say anything else Nan shut the door very firmly in her face. I said to Nan that I was SHOCKED that she’d lied like that. I said is that what Jesus would’ve done? Nan said no, of course He wouldn’t. Jesus would’ve zapped Bethsheba like a fig tree or turned her into salt.
The MC said that so we could all eat the same thing she was declaring Easter a no-meat holiday and she made fish. You’d think that even Sigmund could carve salmon without too much trouble, but you’d be wrong. He was just about to make the first cut when a car backfired in the street. He hit the floor as though he’d been shot. Everybody thought it was HILARIOUS, except Sigmund, who said it was obvious none of us read the papers or we’d realize just how violent a society we live in.