Sigmund was banging on about work, as per usual, while the rest of us were trying to eat our supper. I wasn’t really listening (I mean, who does?), but I heard him say something about matrophobia. I hate to ask Sigmund questions (because he always gives such v long answers that by the time he’s finished you don’t have a clue what you actually asked in the first place), but the Dark Phase is one of intellectual curiosity, so I risked it. Sigmund said matrophobia is when you’re afraid of turning into your own mother. Justin spoke one of his first full sentences of the new year then. He asked Sigmund what it would be called if he was afraid of Sigmund turning into Nan. Everybody laughed except me. I was practically turned to stone. It never even occurred to me before that such a thing could happen. I know I worry about becoming as shallow and pointless as the rest of my family, but it never occurred to me that I could actually turn into MY MOTHER. I asked Sigmund if that sort of thing was very common, and he said it was much more common to turn into your own mother than to be afraid of it. I couldn’t believe it! Me, turn into the Mad Cow?!! I’d have to kill myself! I mean, really, what other option would I have? Now I’m feeling Deeply Depressed. All the years they make you go to school to memorize a bunch of crap that you immediately forget, but nobody ever tells you anything REALLY IMPORTANT. It doesn’t seem fair. Are we mushrooms that have to be kept in the dark?
D agrees that no one ever tells you anything REALLY IMPORTANT or even worth knowing. She says the more she finds out in the DP, the more she realizes that it’s practically a miracle that EVERYBODY isn’t depressed. TOO TRUE! It almost makes you admire people like my parents, who manage to exist on such a superficial level that the Slings and Arrows of Outrageous Fortune miss them entirely. But can you truly experience REAL joy or meaning by floating on the surface of the Lake of Life and never diving down to the depths? Disha and I don’t think so.