Ella didn’t feel refreshed as she reported for duty the next morning. She’d had a restless night, full of nightmares in which men with distorted faces tried to rape her. None of them had been Jim. She’d woken suddenly, crying out, and had found Paddy sitting up and asking if she was all right. She’d felt relief enter her, although she was mortified at having disturbed Paddy, but so grateful for having someone by her side. ‘I’m for having dreams that disturb me as well, Ella, so don’t you be worrying. Sure, I might be the one making you sit up in terror one of these nights.’ This had made Ella smile and calmed some of the fear that was pounding in her heart.
Paddy had fetched her a drink of water and sat holding her hand, and this had comforted Ella, before the pair noticed Connie’s gentle snores and started to giggle. ‘Nothing wakes her; she even slept in the truck when we were being jolted about, though she did wake up quite frightened when we neared the battlefield and the explosions and gunfire were loud.’
‘We all have a point of fear, so we do. Connie gives off an air of being in control and not needing anyone, but it is that we all do need the comfort of others, so we must get past that and make sure she is for being all right.’
The warm feeling that Ella had felt earlier towards Paddy increased at this, and she told Paddy that her summing-up of Connie was right. Listening to Paddy helped to distance Ella from the horror of what had visited her in her dreams, and she managed to sleep peacefully for the rest of the night.
The briefing seemed to take forever, as Matron gave them their duties and the night-staff updated them on all the new intakes of the day before. When Paulo was mentioned, Ella felt a jolt in her heart. Now her mind was troubled once more, as she listened to the hand-over from the night-staff.
‘Officer Rennaise is not well, and is on oxygen. Constant monitoring of his condition is required. He has several broken ribs and underwent an emergency operation. He is to be kept on traction. Pneumonia is an obvious concern.’
Although Ella felt for all the soldiers, hearing of Paulo’s plight intensified this feeling to a painful dread. Why? It’s ridiculous. I’ve dealt with thousands of men, why should this one man have this effect on me? Whatever the reason, she felt an urge to run to Paulo, comfort him and tell him that she would make him better. But she was assigned to the theatre and, listening to the operations to be carried out – from the amputation of limbs, because treated wounds had worsened, to an appendectomy for a young soldier brought in during the night in agony – she knew that visiting Paulo would be impossible until much later in the day. By then she might have managed to get her head straight and be able to put this impossible infatuation into some perspective.
What Matron was saying now brought Ella’s attention back to the matter in hand. ‘Now I am very sorry to have to tell you that we have another problem to contend with – influenza. We had a soldier brought in during the night suffering from the symptoms of this dreadful virus. A deadly strain is sweeping the trenches, but he has presented as our first case. All the other hospitals are full to capacity, so I have designated two nurses to care for him day and night. I have isolated part of tent three for this – and any other cases that come in. Nurse Evans on nights and Nurse Riley on days are to specialize in these cases. No one but them – and a doctor, if required – is to enter the isolation ward. And no one must try to make contact with either of these nurses during their working hours. I have put every precaution in place, so that they can shower and change before coming off-duty. From now on, shower room number two is for their use, and their use only.’
This shocked Ella, as she could see it did everyone. Looking around, she noticed that Paddy was nowhere to be seen. Matron must have collared her the moment she’d surfaced from the billet. Poor Paddy. She was the last one who needed to be in isolation. She was a chatterbox and someone who thrived on company. But then she was also a very caring person, and an excellent nurse, Ella was sure, so there were none better to take on this arduous task.
From their chat during the night Ella had learned a lot about Paddy, and now – as well as praying for Paulo – she would add Bobby Baker, the man Paddy loved, to her list of those she needed God to take care of. But at this moment she didn’t feel she could pray; only berate God for the injustices that he piled on them. Why – why, God? Why send us this devastating illness to deal with? Haven’t we enough to put up with?
Once in theatre, Ella forgot her worry about influenza being in such proximity to them. In the quiet and calm surroundings, case after case was attended to. She assisted wherever she was needed, passing instruments, counting them back onto trays. And she had to scrub-up time and time again, after fetching more supplies or making trips to sterilize batches of implements.
Most of their patients would go on to make a recovery, in body, if not in mind. Something much harder for them to do was coming to terms with all they had seen and experienced. But then Ella wondered if she herself would ever get to a peaceful state of mind.
By the end of her shift she’d somehow passed through the tiredness barrier and, after showering, she sought out Matron to ask permission to visit Paulo.
‘I did warn you yesterday, Nurse Wronski, and I am disappointed at this request. However, I am considering granting you access, although why I’m allowing myself to, I do not know. I will ask the ward sister if your visit is unsettling to Officer Rennaise and, if so, then you are not to ask this of me again.’
Although it was a stern reply, Ella felt that Matron was on her side and that something of a romantic lay under the hard exterior she showed the world.
As Ella approached him, Paulo lay very still. His eyes were almost hidden from view by the oxygen mask, but he managed to open them when she called his name. ‘I – I wanted to check on you. I have been in theatre all day. You’re going to be all right. Have they told you about the damage you have suffered?’
Paulo nodded. He had the most expressive eyes she’d ever seen.
‘Can I do anything for you?’
‘St – stay . . .’
The word was distorted through the mask, but Ella understood. ‘I can stay for a while. I won’t ask you any more questions, as it is a strain on you. I’ve been thinking about you. Matron will let me visit you, as long as you don’t show any distress at my doing so.’
His gaze held hers and this pleased Ella; but it also held something else, which she dared not put a name to. I’m being silly. He can’t possibly feel anything for me! What’s the matter with me?
‘Are y – you . . . troubled?’
‘No! I mean – well, all our lives are troubled. I’m fine. Just tired.’
‘Tell me . . . about you.’
After a few minutes Ella realized she’d told Paulo everything – about her background, her life in London and her work. It had been so easy to talk to him. If only she could tell him . . . But no. She could never tell anyone that.
When she finished, she saw a movement and went to stop him, but his hand came out from under the covers. She took it in her own. A feeling zinged through her that left her feeling confused, as she had never felt this way before. Paulo’s hand tightened on hers. ‘I – I find you . . . very beautiful.’
Ella felt her heart would burst out of her chest, as a happiness like none she’d ever known filled her. She could only smile and look into his lovely eyes.
The patient in the next bed broke the beautiful moment and brought her back to reality, as he called out: ‘Hey, lovebirds, you’re not doing my temperature any good.’
Paulo laughed, but the pain this action caused saw his face creasing in a grimace.
‘Nurse, you are causing a disruption. I think you had better leave.’
‘Oh, Sister, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.’
‘No . . . st – stay.’
‘Nurse Wronski has to go, I’m afraid. The other patients are getting restless. None of them have had a visitor, and it isn’t fair for them to witness you two holding hands.’ As Ella followed the sister out, she glanced back and gave a little wave, but her heart sank at the sister’s words. ‘I’m surprised at Matron allowing this. I will report that I was not happy with the reaction of the other men and think she should discourage any future visits.’
Ella wanted to cry out in protest, but thought it best to apologize once more and leave. She’d appeal to Matron and tell her that the sister had taken a joke from one man as signifying unrest; but if that failed, she would find out who was on night-duty in the officers’ ward and beg them to help her sneak in after dark, when the sister was off-duty. One way or another, she would get to see Paulo again. She had to.
Once outside, she stood still for a moment. Yes, the end of her visit hadn’t been what she’d wanted, but . . . Oh, Paulo! Dare I believe that you feel something for me, as I do for you? And she knew she dared. It was in his eyes, and the way he’d held her hand.
‘Are you all right, Nurse? I’m sorry, I don’t know your name.’
‘Yes, thank you. Just daydreaming. I’m Nurse Wronski – Ella. I arrived yesterday.’
‘Nice to meet you. I’m Belinda. I work on the officers’ ward. Can’t stop, as Sister is a stickler and these supplies are needed.’
‘Oh, Belinda, do me a favour. Sorry to ask, but could you give a message to Officer Rennaise?’
Explaining what had happened, and asking Belinda to tell Paulo that she would come back after dark, Ella suddenly felt very silly and shy. ‘Sorry, I shouldn’t have asked this of you. What will you think of me?’
‘Nothing. I understand. It happens to us all. The soldier I fell in love with is safely back at home. He lost a leg, but he has a loving family taking care of him. We write, but I would do anything to be with him. Of course I will tell Officer Rennaise, and I’ll also tell him that I will arrange things. Wendy, the night-nurse, is my best friend. I’ll have a word with her. Where are you billeted? I’ll get a message to you, to tell you when is the best time to come back.’
‘Oh, thank you. Thank you so much.’ Ella could have kissed Belinda. As she turned away, her inner self was singing with joy. For now she knew that she was in love. Deeply in love with Paulo. Somehow, in letting this knowledge into her, she felt the first tentative healing. I can overcome what happened. I can!