Ella walked along the pavement, her nerves on edge, her heart pounding. She had to see Rowena, make sure she was all right and beg her to leave her house.
By the time she’d arrived home, seven weeks ago, Ella had completely recovered from the birth, and Shamus took advantage of that, making her his in a way that he had been restricted from doing so previously. Ella dreaded each night that they went to the marriage bed. It wasn’t that he was rough, not in his love-making, but she was repulsed by him and felt dirty and used, in a way that tainted the memory of her beloved Paulo.
She was a prisoner – nothing else. She hated Shamus, his attitude to life, his treatment of others, and how his possessiveness of her and his threats kept her bound to do his will. But most of all, she hated what he had made her do.
Her heart bled for her son, her little Paulo; and for her Paulo, her darling husband.
But despite everything, she drew on all her courage and tried to make the best of her lot, with the constant reminder that if she didn’t, or if she crossed Shamus, Rowena would suffer.
Ella hadn’t seen Rowena since the night she’d told her that she was going into the workhouse, but today she was going to visit her.
Today was different, because Shamus had been called to his mother’s side. They had warned him that she had only hours to live. Before going, he had shown his grief and fear of losing his mother, and had told Ella that he would stay with her until she died. This Ella took to mean that she had a lot more time than she usually did.
Any trip outdoors was met with questions and accusations, and had once ended in Shamus hitting her. He had been mortified afterwards, but to Ella it had been worth it to have achieved what she had, on that outing.
Always planning how she could make Rowena safe, and escape herself, she had plotted to visit her bank and had drawn out some money. With this, she had gone to a shop that handled overseas transactions, the cashing of cheques and hiring of mailboxes. To make her plan work, she had to have a way of receiving messages from Rowena. At first she thought she would write a letter and give Rowena the information about the mailbox that she now had, but then she’d had second thoughts.
What Rowena didn’t know, she couldn’t reveal, if ever Shamus paid her a visit. So Ella had decided to wait until everything was in place, and to visit Rowena and put her in the picture.
As soon as Shamus left the house to go and visit his mother, Ella did, too. At last she had enough time to put her plan into action.
A fearful-looking Rowena opened the door. ‘No, honey child, what are you doing here? You must go. He will kill us all.’
Shock zinged through Ella. ‘Shamus? Has he been here?’
Rowena stepped onto the top stair and looked up and down the street, her movements jerky. Fear lit her darting eyes. ‘Come in. Come in quickly.’
Once inside, Rowena hugged Ella, but as she did so, Ella could feel the trembling of her body. ‘Tell me, Rowena, has Shamus been here?’
‘Yes. He say that if we try to contact you, or assist you in any way, he will burn our home to the ground, with us in it! Oh, Missy Ella, I am so afraid.’
‘I’m sorry, I didn’t know. I can’t believe he’d dare come here himself and threaten you! I’m so sorry. And now I have added to your fear. But I thought you imagined me in a workhouse, and I had to come and let you know what has happened to me.’
‘I know that you are the wife of that beast, and I know it isn’t because you are willing. But I’m afraid for us. Oh, honey child . . .’
‘I have a plan, Rowena, my dear friend, but it will mean you and your family moving away. Maybe even from London.’
‘But where will we go, and how?’
‘There is a lot of industry in Birmingham. I have money . . .’ Ella told her everything.
‘Oh, Missy Ella. How do you bear it all?’
‘I don’t know. But what keeps me going now is that I have the means of saving you and getting away from Shamus myself, and one day I will find a way of getting my little Paulo back.’
‘I will have to talk to Tobias. I’m not sure he will agree. He thinks he and his cousins should tackle Shamus and then take him to the police.’
‘Don’t let him do that, please, Rowena; the police are in Shamus’s pay. They will only serve to bring the wrath of Shamus down on you all. He is a wicked man.’
‘Then us leaving is the only way to free us of him, and of freeing you, too. I will speak to Tobias and make him see. How can I get messages to you, Missy Ella?’
Ella gave her the address of the mailbox she had rented. ‘I will write to you. I daren’t visit again. I’ll let you know what you need to do, the moment I hear from you. I’ll buy two houses in Birmingham, for you and your family, and make sure you have plenty of money to keep you going till you can all get work.’
Rowena looked ill.
‘I’m so sorry, my dear Rowena, so very sorry. I wish I had never met Shamus. I don’t want to be married to him and, once he can’t touch you, I will leave him.’
‘But where will you go, Missy Ella?’
‘To Flora in France.’
‘Oh, I forgot. Flora did send a letter in reply to mine. She said she will help us all she can, but they aren’t properly established yet. They were sold some diseased vines and have to start all over again. She said it is difficult at the moment. But the good news is that she now has three children and – my, oh my – the Good Lord is to bless her with a fourth, although we mustn’t be forgetting little Alice, God rest her soul; so it’s her fifth really.’
A pain gripped Ella’s heart. No, we can never forget those who left us. Whether they were born or not.
‘Are you all right, honey child? I shouldn’t have told you, when here you are, with none of your children around you.’
‘Yes, I’m happy for Flora, really. I just had a moment. What are the names of the children?’
‘Freddy, Randolph and Marjella.’
‘Oh! That’s my name. Dear Flors. How lovely that she has named her daughter after me. Ella is the short form of Marjella.’
‘Well, amidst all the bad, we have some good news to hang on to then.’
‘Yes, now I must go. Try to message me as soon as you can, Rowena. I’ll get to my mailbox as often as I can. I still have to go to the solicitor, and I’m not sure how long I can be out.’
Rowena didn’t answer this, but her pitying look said it all. And her hug soothed Ella.
As she sat across from Mr Partridge, he seemed changed, more distant. ‘And what is it that you think we can do for you, Mrs Rennaise?’
Ella didn’t correct him, for she never wanted to acknowledge being Mrs McMahon. ‘My circumstances have changed.’
‘Oh, I know that. I was involved in the sordid business of you selling your child.’
This stung Ella. But she held her head high. ‘I didn’t. Well, not willingly. Things happened over which I had no control. I – it was my only option.’
‘Yes, I know that your husband died, and I am sorry. But—’
‘There is no “but”, and I cannot explain everything to you. I will just say that some friends of mine are in grave danger. I need to help them move to Birmingham. To this end, I will need to purchase two dwellings, each to have three bedrooms and, if possible, sanitary arrangements that are indoors. The other thing I need you to keep in mind is that these friends are Jamaican, so please choose an area that isn’t a slum area, but where they would be accepted and made welcome.’
‘I see. They haven’t done anything illegal, have they?’
‘No, nothing; they are decent citizens and good Christians. However, I have seen them shunned before, because of their colour, and I don’t want that to happen to them again.’
‘This is all very mysterious. I’m not sure it is something we can handle.’
‘Can you recommend someone who can? It may not all happen yet, but I need a solicitor to handle this, whom I can contact when I am ready to go ahead and who can transfer the money as I need it. Someone I can trust. I would very much like that to be you.’
Mr Partridge was quiet for a moment. When he spoke, he leaned forward. ‘I have known you for a long time. I know that we didn’t have a lot to do with each other, but my dealings required me to keep an eye on you, and I liked what I saw. All that has happened to you, since you gave your services in the war, is tragic. I admire your determination and your desire to help others. I don’t like that you cannot tell me what this is all about, and what really motivated you to sell your child, but something inside me tells me to trust you and help you. Where can I write to you?’
‘Again I am going to have to ask you to bear with me and write to a mailbox address. There is someone I have to keep all this from, for the safety of my friends.’
For a moment Ella thought Mr Partridge was going to change his mind once more, but he just nodded, then took down the address.
‘Thank you. Please excuse me now – I have to dash. I will be in touch.’
Mr Partridge stood. His eyes seemed to pierce her soul, but to her relief, he didn’t ask any further questions.
‘Where is it that you have been?’
A simple question, but asked with so much malice that Ella swallowed hard. Taking a deep breath, she asked, ‘Your mother? Has she . . .?’
‘As if you are for caring? I come home in need of comfort, and I find a cold and empty house, and sit here for an hour or more alone with me grief. Tell me: what is it that you have been up to?’
‘Nothing, just walking. What can I get up to . . . No!’
Her jacket tightened around her neck as Shamus grabbed it and pulled her to him. ‘Don’t lie! Isn’t it that I drove around everywhere that you could walk and had no sight of you?’ His grip tightened, his face now inches from hers. ‘Where have you been?’
‘I – I went to the doctor’s. I have an infection. A – and I needed to talk to him. You seem to forget that so little time has gone by since I lost my husband, and then I had to part with my son. I haven’t been allowed to grieve. I needed to talk to someone who knew me and who understood.’
Shamus let her go. His eyes held hers. Evil glittered in the dark depths of them, but she could see that he faltered, unsure. How she’d thought up the lie, Ella didn’t know, but then she was a different person from the one she had been; now she had to plot and scheme and lie her way through life.
‘There’s something about you, so there is. Something I’m not for putting me finger on. You’re clever. Aye, and it is that you have courage, but I’m not sure of you. It is your own fault that I threaten you.’
Shamus let go of her collar. But his stance still held fear for Ella. She didn’t let this deter her. ‘No, it is your fault. All of it is your fault.’ Something happened then that rarely happened to her: her temper flared. ‘You are the cause of all my pain. You are a bully, a kidnapper, a vile, hateful beast and I loathe you!’
His hand shot out. Ella dodged the blow, but wielded one of her own as she swung her bag. Shamus caught it. It was then that she saw something dawn on him. ‘Ah, it is the precious bag that I have in me possession now, so it is. The bag of secrets, which you’re not for letting out of your sight. Now it is that I will know the truth.’
Ella sprang at him. Where this cat-like person that she’d turned into came from, she didn’t know. Driven by desperation, she clawed at Shamus. Thumped him, kicked him, all the while screaming abuse at him.
‘Get off me – it is an animal that you are.’ As he crouched under the attack, Ella saw her bag drop to the floor. Grabbing it gave Shamus time to stand up, but the demon in Ella wasn’t going to give in. Lifting her foot, she drove it into his groin.
While he writhed and moaned, she went to the fire and emptied the contents of her bag onto it. It didn’t matter that she was burning receipts, and the agreement for the mailbox; all could be replaced, but none should ever get into Shamus’s hands. She’d been a fool not to leave them in her mailbox. When she felt the key to it, she hesitated, her mind aflame with desperation as she sought for a solution. Then it came to her. With her back to Shamus, she dropped the keys onto the rug and, with her foot, manoeuvred them under his heavy armchair, before turning to face him.
He was still bent double, but he had lifted his face, which bulged and was red, and his tears mingled with his snot. But it was his expression that penetrated Ella’s shield of anger and had her crumbling. Sinking into his chair, she resigned herself to her fate.
Recovering enough to move, Shamus came towards her as if he was the beast she thought of him as. His breathing hissed through his clenched teeth. He lumbered rather than walked.
Ella cringed backwards, her protest a whimper. But nothing stopped his progress. When he stood over her, excruciating pain zinged through her head, as clumps of her hair came out in his vicious grabbing and tugging of it.
‘Stop, let me go. Noooo!’
But there was no reasoning with the animal that was Shamus.
‘What is it you are hiding, bitch? Why burn all of that? Tell me. Tell me!’
‘Nothing. Don’t . . .’ A scream filled the space around them as Ella’s body was propelled from the chair by her hair and flung onto the floor. Her scream didn’t stop him, as his fist sank into her stomach. Unable to breathe and gasping in pain, Ella stared up at this monster she was tied to. His fist blocked out his face. The punch knocked her head backwards. The room spun. The walls came in towards her. She sank into deep unconsciousness.