Ella’s nerves were on edge as she waited for Arnie to appear. Her heart longed for him to do so, but she was afraid, too, as their meeting place was a lot nearer home than when they had met before, due to her not being able to travel such a distance with the pram.
Arnie had picked up her note and had left her one saying he would do his best, but that lectures were becoming more and more important now as he neared his final exam, which would be in March.
All Ella’s hopes were pinned on Arnie being able to help her get away. It was what had occupied most of her thoughts over the last two weeks since she’d finally made up her mind to leave. The fact that it was now only just over a week until Christmas had helped Ella get the freedom to leave home often to visit the shops, as Shamus could see the urgency in having to get what they needed.
The enjoyment that she should have felt hadn’t been present as she’d ordered a Christmas tree, and the decorations for it, to be delivered. And then she had bought a wooden train for Paulo, and a set of painted wooden soldiers. These she’d tucked into the bottom of Paulo’s pram. The huge sides to the pram and the hood served to keep him warm. He’d sat up, happily enjoying all that passed by him, but was now sleepy and leaning back against his pillow. His little face reminded Ella so much of Christophe that it hurt at times, but at others it gave her great joy that it should be so.
Finding a Christmas present for Shamus hadn’t been difficult. He was becoming more and more the businessman now, and had ordered work to be done on one of the small cottages that he owned, to turn it into an office for himself. Most often he went out in a suit, rather than dressed as if ready to evict someone – or, worse, beat them up. And so she had bought him a pocket-watch for his present. On the back, she’d had her name engraved. She hadn’t been able to bring herself to put anything about love on it. That would have been too hypocritical, because now that she was thinking straight again, she knew that deep down she loathed Shamus and all he stood for.
Seeing Arnie walking towards the cafe caused Ella’s heart to jolt. Not painfully, but in a way that gave her the knowledge of how much he had come to mean to her. It seemed a true saying that absence makes the heart grow fonder.
‘Ella! It is so good to see you. How are you? You look tired. And is this who I think it is?’
‘Yes, this is my son, Paulo. I’m so happy to have him home, and yet achieving that has also brought me extreme grief and made me come to a decision. One that I am feeling the strain of.’
‘I hope this decision is that you are going to leave that thug! Let’s order. Tea?’
Once they were settled with their tea and cakes, and Arnie had gently introduced himself to a smiling Paulo, Ella confirmed that what Arnie had hoped for was what she planned.
‘At last – thank God for that.’
‘I cannot do it alone, Arnie. I need your help.’
‘Of course. I will do anything that I can. What have you in mind, and where will you go?’
Ella told him where she planned to go and then added, ‘I will need so many things for Paulo, but getting them out of the house all in one go will be impossible. I wondered if we could meet on a regular basis, and each time I could give you something that I will need, and you could store it for me until I am ready to go. When that time comes, I will leave the house as if I am going on a shopping trip, but I will never go back. I will make sure that I have my train and boat tickets all ready and will just take off.’
‘Oh, Ella, I am so pleased you have made this decision, as it is the right one. But how will you manage? You say that your friends live in the South of France? That’s a massive journey on your own. Look, how soon can you go?’
‘I hope to go in January. Maybe towards the end, that will give me time to get everything ready.’
‘And time to change your mind, too. Listen, I have attended my last lecture and have six weeks off from college. I am due to begin an apprenticeship with my father’s solicitor at the end of January, and then return to college to sit my final exams. I’ll come with you, but we need to leave as soon as we can get on a boat. That will give me time to get there and return, in readiness to take up my position. Not that I’m looking forward to it, as I have been having second thoughts about my future. I just feel so unsettled, since the war.’
‘I know. I think we all are. It is three years since it ended, and yet so many people are still displaced, and those that aren’t are restless and finding it hard to settle back into the life they had mapped out for themselves.’
‘That’s exactly it! To be truthful, I no longer want to be a boring old solicitor. I want adventure. I want to . . . Yes, I want to sail away with you, and live my life in the South of France with you. We could set up our own wine business and— You’re laughing at me!’
‘No. Not at you – with you. I was caught up in your dreams.’ They were silent for a moment, a time when they held each other’s gaze.
‘Would you live my dream with me?’
Arnie’s low tone sent a shiver of delight through Ella. It was as if someone had switched on a light. And she knew that was what she wanted.
He reached out and took her free hand. ‘Ella, I love you. I want to care for you.’
She couldn’t speak for a moment. Her eyes filled with tears. To her, Arnie was her Paulo. It was as if Paulo was living inside him. But then she realized that no, Paulo was gone, but he’d sent someone in his place. Someone to love and care for her.
‘I never thought it would be possible for me to feel as I do, so soon after my Paulo left me, but I love you too, Arnie.’
Arnie’s eyes shone. ‘My darling, it will be all right. You are delicate still, from the loss of your first love. And you haven’t had the time to grieve for him properly. And you need time to heal from what Shamus has done to you. That beast ripped you from the life you had known. You have been lost, but now I promise you are found. I will give you time to heal, and will be with you every step of the way. We will go through it together, whatever it takes to bring you that healing, before we embark on our own relationship. I promise.’
Ella’s tears spilled over and tumbled down her face.
‘It’s all right, my darling, that is just the process beginning. But you will have to overcome it for now. You need to be strong.’
‘I don’t know what to do, Arnie. I know that you’re right, and I thank you for promising me time. I do need that. But you say we should leave now? What about the things I will need for Paulo? His feed, his change of nappies – oh, it won’t work. I come burdened with too much for someone like you to take on.’
‘You don’t. No one can ask more of me than I was asked to give during the war; but if you did ask, I would give it. Let’s plan to go in three days’ time. I will book our passage, and you must concentrate on putting all you will need until we reach France into the bottom of your pram. Does it have a storage compartment under the mattress?’
‘Yes, it does. The bottom lifts out and there’s quite a big space underneath. I can get enough in there to tide little Paulo over until we have crossed the sea. But will there be a boat over the Christmas period?’
‘I’ll make enquiries and let you know. On the day, double up on what you wear. That is all we can take, because you are going to have to leave your home on an ordinary shopping trip and then meet me at the station. I’ll make sure you have the times of the trains, but there is usually an overnight one, so we may meet around three p.m. How would that be?’
‘Yes, I can do that. Oh, Arnie, can we really pull it off?’
‘We can do anything we choose. We just have to be careful.’
‘But what about you? Your career? Your family?’
‘I will try to get back in time to begin my apprenticeship, but if I’m not back, I will assure my parents that I will return for my finals. I’ll tell them that I am going on an extended holiday, and that I need a break. They will understand. My mother is always saying that I haven’t had a let-up since my return from the trenches. She will be in my corner.’
‘You will return here?’
‘Yes. I owe that much to my parents, who have made sacrifices to put me through my law degree. And then we shall see. By then I will know whether it’s simply a pipedream to live in France or something I really want to do with my life.’
‘Whatever you decide, I will back you, my love.’
Arnie squeezed her hand a little tighter. ‘You called me “my love”?’
Shyness came over Ella at this. ‘I did, and you are.’
‘Thank you, my darling. Thank you. Oh, if only this wasn’t a public place. I so want to kiss you. I—’
‘You just fucking try it!’
‘Shamus!’ Ella screamed as Arnie landed on his back from Shamus’s punch.
‘Yes, your husband – is it that you forgot that? You fucking whore!’ Shamus’s hand lifted in the air again and Ella cringed against the blow, as the slap knocked her onto the floor.
‘Now then, now then – none of that in me tearoom.’ The woman who had served them came towards them with a rolling pin in her hand and swiped out at Shamus. His yelp as the rolling pin caught his arm turned into a tirade of abuse as he shoved the woman, and then kicked out at Arnie, who was trying to get to his feet.
Ella reached for her screaming child. Her body was in shock, her mind in despair, but Paulo’s wails had given her courage to rise from the floor and make sure he was safe and comforted. Holding him close, she stared in horror as Shamus lifted a chair. ‘No, Shamus. Noooo!’
The woman had recovered and lunged her bulk at Shamus, toppling him and stopping him from crashing the chair down onto Arnie.
‘Get out! Get out, the pair of you, while he’s down. Go! Go!’
Arnie was up on his feet and grabbed Ella’s arm. She felt herself compelled to run with him. Once out in the street, luck was with them as a taxi came towards them. Hailing it, they jumped in. ‘Take us to two-one-five Hartford Place, please. And as quickly as you can, driver.’
Ella caught hold of Arnie’s sleeve and whispered, ‘Is that your home? Oh, Arnie, Shamus will follow us. Don’t let him know where you live. You don’t know what he is capable of.’
Arnie patted her hand. The gesture was meant to reassure, but Ella could see the fear in his face. ‘Sorry, Driver, a change of direction. Can you take us to a boarding house, please, one that is not well known? We are in a hurry.’ Arnie looked at Ella. In his eyes she saw a plea. He whispered, ‘Sorry, needs must.’ And to the driver he said, ‘We have been caught red-handed by an irate husband, I’m afraid.’
‘I don’t want any trouble, mate.’
‘No. Nor do we, so if you see a dark-red Ford motor car come up behind us, can you try to lose it? I’ll pay handsomely for your trouble.’
‘Who d’yer think I am – the Keystone Cops? I’m pulling up ’ere, mate, I know that car and who it belongs to, and if that’s who you’re running from, I want nothing to do with it. You and your floozy can get out of me cab. Though that’ll be a tanner before you do.’
Arnie paid the driver his sixpence and helped Ella out. They both glanced along the high street, but couldn’t see Shamus’s car. ‘That cafe owner must have kept him from leaving; she was like an army all rolled into one.’
Ella gave a deep sigh. ‘Thank God for her.’
‘Are you hurt, Ella?’
‘A bit bruised, but never mind that; we have to get out of sight. Oh, Arnie, what are we going to do?’
He pulled her into a nearby alley and then held her close, his arms around her and her child. ‘My darling, I will look after you. Don’t be afraid. It is what we wanted, it is just sooner than we wished for it. We’ll rest for a moment out of sight. Shamus will be looking to find the taxi we jumped into. So in a way, the driver dumping us may have done us a favour.’
Although Arnie’s words were brave, Ella could detect a tremor in his voice. ‘Oh, Arnie, I’m so scared. He will kill us. What have I done? I should have known it was too dangerous to meet so near where I live.’
‘It’s done now. And as I see it, with a pram in tow, you had no choice. You couldn’t lug that onto a train, or down the Underground. Let’s not waste time in recriminations, as we have to think of a solution. Maybe we can start by walking to the end of the alley. We have time on our side – come on.’
Feeling tired and afraid to the very heart of her, Ella followed Arnie. The alley smelt of urine and grime. A dumping ground, it was littered with rubbish, and every step was a hazard. At the end, they found a quieter street, but neither of them had any idea which way they should go.
A man walked towards them, his head down, whistling a tuneless song. Ella froze. He had the look of Michael, one of Shamus’s cronies. She turned and looked the other way. To her horror, Patrick was walking towards them from the other direction. ‘Run, Arnie, run! Go! Oh God!’
‘What is it?’
‘Shamus’s men . . . Run into that alley, and run for all you are worth, please. Please. They will kill you!’
Alerted now, the men began to run towards them. Ella felt trapped. Her whole body shook with terror.
‘Please, Arnie, you’re younger than them, and it is your only chance.’
‘But you—’
‘Leave me. Get help for me. It’s the only way.’
The men were within yards of them now. Arnie began to run, telling Ella that he would get assistance to her. ‘I can’t bear to leave you, but we do need help. Hang on, darling. I promise you, I will come for you.’
Ella held her breath as Arnie crossed over the road and ran down the alley facing the one they’d just come from. Patrick shouted, ‘I’ll be after chasing him; you grab the whore, Michael!’
His words had hardly died when Ella felt her arm gripped in a painful hold that bruised her, but her fear wasn’t for herself, it was for Arnie. Please God. Please, please take care of him.