part0044

Dalatrend bustled with life, even at this late hour. Streetlamps lit up every street of the four quadrants, and spotlights illuminated the fortress at the far end of the city belonging to our ruler , Zarda. Cats fought in the alleys, people shouted, and cars roared and honked in the sleepless night. My violet hair moved with the slight breeze, and the full moon’s light bathed my light skin in a silver sheen as I stared out from my perch on top of our house. The battle from earlier, while seemingly unknown by the rest of the city’s occupants, weighed heavy on my mind.

Even though we had won, the battle took a toll on our supplies and numbers. Two things we couldn’t afford to be so careless with.

I turned away from the city when a door leading back into the house opened. A young man, appearing not much older than I, maybe his early thirties, with tan skin, short black and red hair, and black facial hair, walked out onto the roof and looked around. His sapphire eyes rested on me and then he shook his head. “Of all the places you could be, Eira, you chose to be up here again?”

I crossed my arms. “Yes, Raikidan, I am up here. Getting away allows me to think. Today has been a bit stressful.”

He held up his hands. “No need to get testy.”

“Whatever. Do you need something from me, or are you a lost puppy looking for home?”

“I’m not a lost puppy…” he muttered. “I came up here to see if we could talk.”

My brow rose. “About?”

I resisted sighing. Ever since I had dropped the bombshell about Ryder’s connection to me after the battle, I had avoided Raikidan because of the questions I’d receive. He’d make it out to be a bigger issue than it really was.

I shrugged. “I guess. I don’t see what needs to be talked about. He’s my son. Nothing crazy there.”

Raikidan crossed his arms. “You claim you don’t want to be close to anyone, especially males, and then you say you have a son, but it’s no big deal?”

“What part of ‘we’re tank-born’ don’t you get?” I asked. “I didn’t choose to have him, but that doesn’t deny who he is.”

He held up his hands. “All right, all right. I guess I can go with that. So who’s his father, then?” I looked away from him. “Eira?”

“It’s…” I sighed. “It’s Rylan…”

I looked him in the eye. “Rylan is his father.”

“Yeah, I got that part, but I don’t know. I’m just really confused. I thought you said Rylan and you are only friends. You said you had no, and still don’t have any, attraction to him in the least.”

“And you would be correct. There isn’t anything between me and Rylan. We are only friends.” Raikidan’s brow rose in question and I exhaled slowly in irritation. “Ryder wasn’t Rylan’s or my choice. He was Zarda’s. Zarda figured using my DNA and Rylan’s DNA was a good idea, so he made it so. That’s how it goes with us. What Zarda wants, damn everyone to hell if he doesn’t get it.”

“So why you two?”

“Because of the bond. Even though Zarda scrapped the project, he still had great interest in its potential. He believed the bond has special DNA properties even though none of it could be proven. So he ordered the geneticists to combine Rylan’s and my DNA, with the demand the only alteration made was life longevity attempts. Zarda assumed with the types of DNA he was combining, Ryder wouldn’t need much more alteration.”

“All right. I think I get, it but why is he so young? I thought you said you guys don’t come out of your tanks unless you’re around seventeen.”

I sat down and nodded. “That’s true, but there was a problem.”

Raikidan walked over and sat down next to me. “What kind of problem?”

“Ryder stopped developing, and the longer they kept him in there in hopes it would resume, the faster his life force faded. Not wanting to lose him, they took him out. He didn’t grow past the age of ten.”

“So was it the alteration that messed things up or the accelerated growth?”

I shook my head. “They didn’t accelerate his growth. They didn’t want to risk it since Rylan and I hadn’t had that kind of treatment. They feared the acceleration might kill him.”

“I see.” There was something off about the tone in his voice. Like he was piecing something together that wasn’t a part of this conversation. “So when you found out about Ryder, how did that affect you guys?”

“Well…” I thought for a moment to figure out how to word myself. It wasn’t something I wanted to say, but he would keep pestering me until I did. “Rylan… Rylan thought he could use Ryder as a tool to get me to care for him. He figured if we had something to connect with, together, then I might change my mind.”

Raikidan snorted. “Even I know that wouldn’t work.”

I laughed. “Well, you’re a little smarter than him, because he tried it and it pissed me off enough where I wouldn’t even look at him for five months.”

“Ouch. A little harsh, don’t you think?”

I snorted. “Hardly. I had been fed up with him not listening to me in the first place. And the fact that he thought he could use a child as a tool disgusted me. I couldn’t stomach looking at him. But harsh or not, the treatment got Rylan to understand I didn’t see him that way. My refusal to acknowledge him at all showed him the depth of my rejection. I didn’t want to crush him as bad as I did, but it was the only way he’d give up. It was the only way I knew I could get him to stop.”

“So what is Ryder’s opinion on the matter?”

“He… he doesn’t know.”

Raikidan’s brow rose. “What do you mean, he doesn’t know?”

“I mean, he doesn’t know Rylan is his father. Or, as far as I know he doesn’t. I decided it would be best not to tell him.”

“How does Rylan feel about this?”

“He hates it. He fought with me for a long time over it. He still thinks I made the wrong choice. He thinks I’m being selfish.”

“But you don’t think you are?”

I shook my head. “I thought it would only make the situation worse. With Ryder’s developmental issues, he’s got a mind that’s stuck between a child and a grown man. If Ryder knew the truth about his lineage, it would only confuse him. He would struggle to understand why Rylan and I weren’t together. I wouldn’t do that to him because it wouldn’t be fair. No matter how much Rylan wanted Ryder to know, at that time, I knew it wouldn’t be right. Now that time has passed I just wait for him to ask. I figure that’s the best way to tell him because by then he’ll be ready to know.”

Raikidan went quiet. Feeling uncomfortable due to our conversation, and now the sudden silence, I went to leave. Since our conversation was over, I didn’t see a reason to stay, but Raikidan grabbed my hand and pulled me back down.

“You want to talk about something else?” I asked. “Because there’s nothing more to say about this current topic.”

Raikidan looked at me, but still didn’t speak. His expression wasn’t readable, making it hard for me to figure out what was up. Then suddenly, he reached up and stroked my cheek with the back of his finger. My eyes grew wide and my breath caught with his sudden, bold behavior. He leaned closer to me.

I pulled away. “What are you doing?”

He attempted to move closer again and lightly touched my chin. “I still want that kiss.”

I pushed him back by his face. “I just get done telling you I have a kid and you want a kiss from me? What is with you? Most would want nothing to do with me after that, regardless of the fact my son is tank-born.”

He pulled my hand off his face. “I just want to know what it feels like. It doesn’t matter that you told me you have a son or that you rejected Rylan, his father. It’s not like this is supposed to mean anything. It’s just a kiss. I want to know what it feels like.”

I scoffed and stood up. “I told you, find a hooker to kiss. I won’t do it.”

“Why do you have such a problem with this? It’s just a kiss.”

“You don’t get it, Raikidan, A kiss is never just a kiss. It’s supposed to mean something. That’s the point of a kiss. Depending on the emotion placed into it makes it different every time.”

“I don’t understand. You’re just pressing your lips against someone else’s.”

“Obviously you don’t get it! There are different types of kisses. There’s one for each emotion you place into it.” I looked out the window with my arms crossed.

“Eira, what are you not telling me?”

I sighed. “A kiss can also be false. It can be a lie, even though it’s still a kiss, but a lie uses a negative emotion.” I walked over to the door. “Stop trying to get a kiss out of me, Raikidan. It’s not going to feel the way you think it will, and I don’t want to be a part of it. Keep your mouth away from mine.”

I shut the door behind me and headed for a different place to be alone. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be able to stay calm, and I didn’t want to lose it over such a topic.

It was dark —more than dark. It was black. I couldn’t see anything. I couldn’t hear anything. I looked around frantically, but I was alone. There was no doubt about it. The empty feeling that loneliness brought, crept all over my body. I didn’t like it. I didn’t like being alone. Then I heard it. It was quiet at first, but it became louder.

The voice was masculine. I knew this voice, but I couldn’t remember whom it belonged to. I didn’t like that. I wanted to put a name, a face even, to the voice.

“Laz.” I liked how the voice said this name. I liked how it rolled off his tongue. I wanted him to say my name like that all the time. “Laz.”

The grip on my head tightened and the feeling of loneliness gripped tighter. Then a new feminine voice spoke —one I recognized. She had no face —no name. She was the darkness inside me.