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Riley watched Petra walk out and felt as though her heart was breaking. The front door slammed behind Petra’s flash of retreating flame-red hair, and she jumped.
“Why did you say that?” Maddy asked, her tone hard and accusatory.
“You think I should have kept the info to myself?”
“Yes! Why would she want to know her fiancé is cheating with his secretary?”
“I know this is hard for you to understand, but you can’t be in a relationship with a liar. No matter what else is going on, truth, loyalty, those are the things that can’t be compromised.”
“This is why you’re single. All men cheat, it’s just the way of the world. Petra would have been happier not knowing, and now you’ve ruined her relationship over nothing. And possibly your friendship too.”
“What are you talking about?” Riley frowned. “Dad never cheated.”
Maddy raised an eyebrow and said nothing.
“What does that mean?”
“Why? So you can know the truth and be miserable like Petra?”
“Does Mom know?” Riley dropped her voice, hoping that her mother couldn’t hear their conversation from the other room.
“Everyone except you knows, Riley. It’s the worst kept secret in the family. You only think he’s a good guy because you were too busy mooning over Petra to see what was going on under your nose.”
“I was not.” Riley stood ramrod straight. Her little sister had never spoken to her like this before. Where had all this anger come from? Maddy was shaking with rage.
“Mom knew the score. Dad would stay at work late a couple of nights a month. A woman called here for him one time, said she was his secretary, but when I called him to the phone he was so mad—not at me, at her, for calling the house. He did that angry whisper down the line as though I couldn’t hear everything he said. Jen even caught him hugging some young thing outside his office once when she went to surprise him for lunch on summer break.”
Riley was stunned. Her mouth hung open as though searching for the words to respond.
“Men have needs. They want to spread their seed around, but they want their secure home too. Petra is wife material; someone you can rely on to keep things running at home, but most dudes need excitement, the thrill of the chase, as well as security.”
“Who are you? When did you become so fucking cynical?”
Maddy picked up her fork and went back to her meal. “Dean and I have an unspoken arrangement. He does what he needs to do, I don’t ask him any questions. One day, if there’s a hot dude in my office, I might dabble, but we know it doesn’t mean anything. I’m his rock, the one he’ll always come back to.”
“You knew about Mike?”
“Of course, I knew. Cindy isn’t the first, and won’t be the last, I’m sure.” Maddy chewed the mac and cheese with such a smug look on her face, Riley couldn’t stand to stay in the room any longer.
“I don’t know what happened, but I feel sorry for you if that’s what you think love is.” Riley turned away and ran upstairs to her bedroom, her refuge in the attic.
They had renovated when she moved back in. She wanted to cry, for Maddy, for Petra, for her mom, but the tears wouldn’t come. She was filled with white hot rage at all the men who treated women like property, the lying, cheating, scumbags. Thank God I’m not attracted to men.
***
The next morning when Riley woke up it took several minutes to remember the terrible fight she’d had with a woman she’d loved for years. She wasn’t in love with Petra, that would be inappropriate, she loved her more like an extra sister.
Riley didn’t have to go on shift until two that afternoon, and she dreaded going downstairs in case she ran into Jen or Maddy. She couldn’t handle any more revelations about her world right now.
In the end, hunger won out, Riley’s belly rumbled and the only solution was to go down to the kitchen. With all the drama last night, she had barely eaten.
I wonder if anyone put the mac and cheese in the fridge, or if it sat out getting spoiled.
She walked down the stairs, the first floor empty, both her sisters likely at work. As Riley stepped off the staircase on the ground floor, her was mother bent over awkwardly in her chair.
“Shit, Mom, have you been here all night?” Riley rushed to her mother’s chair and helped her to sit up straight again. Her mother’s eyes shone, as though she wanted to cry, but she hadn’t been able to speak much for a long time.
“I’m so sorry I didn’t check on you before I went to sleep. Jen and Maddy were both home. Did they look in before they went to bed? Or before they went to work?”
Georgina’s eyes closed slowly, and there was a sadness in her face, despite the paralysis.
“I’ll fucking kill them.” Riley clenched her teeth. “Sorry, language, I know.” She tried to smile, but it felt forced. They had hired a nurse to come every day and shower Georgina—she had her own keys, and let herself in if all the daughters were out.
Riley could smell the need for her mother’s continence underwear to be changed. Usually, one of them would do it last thing at night and first thing in the morning at least.
“Why does it have to be me that keeps this family together?” Riley said. “Okay, Mom, we need to get you into some clean things, and then I’ll bring you some breakfast.”
The mac and cheese still sat on the dining table, just where it had been left last night. Maddy’s plate lay bare—clearly she hadn’t been too upset to eat—and she’d left it there for Riley to deal with.
“You’d say I shouldn’t be too hard on Maddy, she’s had a tough time, but I’ve had it just as tough. I don’t go around making excuses for creeps.” Riley sighed. “Did Dad really do all that stuff she said?”
Georgina didn’t weigh much these days, but Riley still used the ergonomic lift aid the nursing agency had brought whenever she transferred her mother from the chair to the bed and back.
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t know. You never said anything. I thought you two were happy. I guess maybe you were, in a manner of speaking. But you can’t believe you deserved that, do you Mom?” Riley had moved her mother onto the bed and began the process of cleaning her up and changing her clothes and continence aid. She was as tender as she could be, her mother’s skin red and angry from sitting in urine all night.
“You’re all raw, I’m sorry. I’ll put some ointment on, it might sting.” Riley talked her mother through what she was doing as she went. Her mom’s mind was still in there, as far as the doctors could figure out. It was just her body that didn’t respond the way it used to.
“Do you want something to eat? Or no?” Riley asked.
Georgina mumbled something that sounded like no.
“I’ll leave you to get some rest, I’ll check on you in a bit.”
Once Georgina was comfortable on the bed and could maybe get some proper sleep, Riley went into the dining room and cleared all the dishes from the night before. She clenched her teeth, muttering under her breath about her lazy, thoughtless little sisters.
Riley often had eggs for breakfast, but she didn’t have the energy for cooking, and found some cereal in the cupboard, chocolate something or other that Jen would have bought. She was never very good at eating well, that one.
She sat at the now clean dining table, and Riley heard her mother’s soft breathing in the other room, hoping she rested well.
Her thoughts went back to Petra. She’d walked out of the house, life as she knew it possibly in tatters, and Riley hadn’t checked on her.
I might not even be welcome if I dropped around. Riley stared glumly at the brown tinted milk in the bottom of her bowl. But if she didn’t try, she’d be angrier at herself than she was already.
She looked in on her mother, her eyes were open. “I’m gonna shower, Mom. You okay?”
Georgina gave a semblance of a nod, and Riley went back upstairs to get ready to go out. She was on shift later, so would need to have her kit and uniform with her. After a brief, but thorough shower, she combed her short dark hair, parting it just so on the left side.
“How do I look?” Riley said, reentering the lounge-cum-bedroom on the ground floor. One side of her mother’s mouth tugged up in a smile, and she moaned in a positive tone.
“Good, you reckon?” Riley turned around to show her mom the back. “I’m going to see if Petra will talk to me.”
Georgina grumbled.
“I know, I messed up. She wasn’t ready to hear what I had to say about Mike. But Maddy didn’t help either. Not everyone cheats. I can’t bear to think of Petra being legally bound to a man who thinks he can bang whoever he pleases. She deserves better.”
Georgina’s eyes twitched.
“Don’t you start. We’re just friends. I know she’s not into women, and she’s like my sister.” Keep telling yourself that. “Will you be all right until Emma gets here later?”
Her mom nodded, or at least what they had come to understand was a nod with her impaired movement.
“Do you need help back into the chair?”
Georgina shook her head.
“I love you, Mom. I’m gonna have words with those other two for leaving you like that last night. They know better.”
If Riley hadn’t known better, she would have sworn she heard her mother say thank you.
***
Riley took her own motorcycle, a bulky, noisy, black hog, to Petra’s apartment building a few blocks away, her work kit in a duffle bag strapped over her shoulder.
She parked on the pavement in front and buzzed Petra’s apartment. The small block was a little worse for wear but structurally sound. At least it had a security entrance—Bloomington was a bit sketchy in some areas.
She should be home, I don’t think she’s working today. Riley waited for Petra’s usually sparkling, sweet voice to come over the tinny speaker.
“What do you want?” The security camera meant Petra could see who had buzzed. She didn’t seem happy.
“I want to apologize. Can I come up?”
A sigh sounded through the speaker, followed by a crackly buzz as Petra let her in.
Riley’s heart pounded in her chest. She let me in. That’s a good start.
Petra’s small, organized apartment was decorated in muted neutral tones with splashes of terra cotta, sage, and forest green. Riley had always found the décor soothing, but today even that couldn’t calm the butterflies in her stomach.
“Alright, you’re here.” Petra’s eyes were puffy, and she looked even paler than usual, her arms wrapped around herself, leaning on her dining table. Her unruly flame-red hair was sticking out of a big messy bun.
We’re not getting comfortable, better get straight to it. “I’m sorry.”
“Really? What for?”
“I’m sorry I told you about Mike and Cindy. I’m sorry Maddy behaved like a spoiled child. I should have told you in private. I could have presented what I saw differently.”
Petra held her mouth in a small, tight line but stayed silent.
“I didn’t mean to hurt you,” Riley continued. “I thought you deserved to know. I didn’t think about how it would potentially mess everything up.”
“I was so mad last night.”
“I know. I’m so sorry.”
Petra put her hand up, and Riley shut her mouth, giving Petra space to say what she needed to.
“I left your place, and I walked down to Kismet Cove. I wanted to get away from you, but maybe also to get away from myself. It didn’t work.”
Riley thought she saw a hint of a smile through the sorrow on Petra’s face.
“I got back here and barely slept. I woke up at six and texted Mike to ask him to call me as soon as he woke up.” She sighed and rubbed her hand over her eyes. Riley wanted more than anything to comfort her, hug her and tell her it would be okay, but it wasn’t the time.
“He called at eight thirty, driving to work, didn’t think it was urgent enough to interrupt his morning routine.” Petra scoffed. “I asked him who Cindy was. He said they worked together. I asked if they were sleeping together. He said no. But—”
Riley thought Petra might cry, but instead she took a trembling breath and continued.
“But it was the way he said no. I can tell when he’s lying. Sure, I didn’t know he wasn’t being faithful, but I never had cause to ask him outright. Half-truths, and lying by omission sometimes slip past me if I’m not concentrating, but when someone lies to my face, so to speak, I know. Although maybe it’s not so reliable with people I’m close to.”
Riley had always known Petra knew things she shouldn’t. Her work with the dying always seemed sort of sacred, mystical.
“I know you weren’t lying last night, as much as that would have been easier. It’s part of why I was so upset. You could have been mistaken. If people think they’re telling the truth I don’t see a lie, but you weren’t lying.”
“I’m so sorry,” Riley said after a lengthy pause.
“I can’t stay with him now. It’s all come crashing down. The life I thought I’d have. I guess in hindsight not moving in together makes more sense...” She dropped her arms and crumpled on herself. All the strength she’d used to hold herself up against the weight of Mike’s betrayal had dissipated.
“Let’s sit down,” Riley said, holding her arms out as though to shepherd her to the couch. Petra allowed herself to be guided. Riley had never seen her so deflated. “I don’t know if you want to hear this, but he doesn’t deserve your loyalty.”
Petra lifted her red-rimmed eyes. Her lower lip began to tremble. “I know.” She sobbed once, and the tears she’d been holding back flowed over her cheeks.
She looked so small and fragile. So lost. Riley, on the other end of the couch, put one hand on Petra’s knee, and she curled into a ball, laying her head on Riley’s leg.
Riley stroked her hair in silence until she had stopped crying, all the while trying to tamp down the urge to wrap her in her arms and kiss away the tears. It isn’t the time. Petra doesn’t feel the same.
“Do you have to go on shift soon?” Petra asked.
“Yeah, I brought my uniform with me.” Riley inclined her head to the bag she’d left on the floor near the front door. “I need to go in about half an hour, but I can stay here till then if you want me to.”
“I’d like that.” Petra pushed herself into a seated position and shuffled back over to her side of the couch. “I’m gonna go tidy myself up a bit.”
Riley nodded, and watched her walk away, still sad, but now moving with purpose. A few minutes passed, she heard water running, and closet doors opening.
Eventually Petra returned. She had put some make-up on, her eyes looked less like she’d been crying, and she’d changed her outfit into a smart, tailored linen suit that made her look powerful, purposeful.
“Can you do me a favor?”
“Anything,” Riley replied, in awe of the strength she must have to get herself together so quickly.
“Can you take me to Mike’s building on your way to the station? I’m giving the ring back.”
Riley’s mouth tugged up in a half smile. “Sure. You look like a million bucks. He’ll be sorry he let you go.”
“He better be.” Petra picked up her handbag and strode to the door.