kaiser wilhelm II

German Emperor and King of Prussia, 1888–1918

As a grandson of Queen Victoria, Wilhelm, the future Emperor of Germany, would often be seen at the annual family holiday in Balmoral dressed in kilt and Glengarry. As with Idi Amin, the penchant for uniforms never quite left young Villy and, like most Germans, he only ever felt wholly comfortable in full military dress.

However, the disaster which befell Germany after the First World War (all Wilhelm’s fault, natch) was nothing compared to what happened to him as a teenager. While bathing in a lake, Wilhelm was attacked by a migrating swallow which became stuck to his upper lip and, despite all efforts, could not be removed.

After months of torment, Wilhelm decided to accept his new companion and indeed, fashioned the design of his Imperial helmet upon a bird (albeit an eagle–the swallow was considered somewhat feminine). Yet its constant fluttering and twittering caused Wilhelm deep psychological difficulties, leading to quickness of temper and erratic decision-making. The rest, as they say, is history. Nice uniform, though…