get the villy!

1) Undergo a razor-cut around the back and sides of the head in silent, Teutonic fashion.

2) Feel free to try different moustache styles including the Zapata and…

3)… the ridiculous Frenchman. Eventually, destiny will intervene when…

4)… a swallow will attach itself to your upper lip. Keep it there with industrial-strength epoxy resin and award oneself the Iron Cross for valour.