Chapter Eleven

The week slid by slowly. On Monday Melissa bought a Christmas tree and, together with William, they put up the decorations. The house seemed brighter with the festive trappings in place, but she still felt strangely flat.

On Tuesday she took William to his usual tennis lesson, but the flare of anticipation as she drove to the centre wasn’t there. William, too, was more subdued than usual. It seemed both of them, in their different ways, were missing Daniel.

On Wednesday evening she found herself scanning through the sports channels, desperate to see if they were covering the charity tennis tournament Daniel was taking part in. To her disappointment, she couldn’t find it anywhere.

Late Thursday afternoon she picked up the ringing phone with a thumping heart, only to have her hopes crash the moment she heard the male voice on the phone. Lawrence, not Daniel.

‘Have you sorted a time when I can see my son yet?’ he asked without preamble. ‘Evangeline is keen to meet him.’

The thought of her son being in the same company as not only his overbearing father, but also a woman cold-hearted enough to sleep with the husband of a colleague, made her feel physically sick. ‘If he sees you at all, it will be with me. Just the three of us.’

‘Don’t be ridiculous.’ His tone was abrupt and dismissive. ‘Of course Evangeline will be with us, too. She has a daughter around William’s age. They can play together. Providing William has learnt the art of conversation, of course. Goodness knows what you’re doing to the boy. Young Sabine is far more confident. Very grown-up for her age.’

Melissa tried to ignore his nasty dig and focus instead on the irony of the situation. ‘Has it escaped your notice that you made my life hell because you didn’t want a child and yet here you are, marrying a woman who already has one?’

‘Dragging you out of your ordinary life and into one of wealth and glamour was hardly making your life hell,’ he countered mockingly. ‘As for your other comment, a man my age doesn’t have quite the same choices he once had ten years ago.’ For a few seconds he broke off and she heard a rapid exchange of words before he came back on the line. ‘I need to go. I expect you to email me some dates later this evening.’

Her hand tightened around the phone. ‘You can expect all you like. It won’t alter the fact that I’m not prepared to leave William alone with you or Evangeline. I have a lawyer now, Lawrence. One not in your pocket. If you want to discuss access to William again, you need to do it through him.’

Once she’d rattled off the number Daniel had given her for Peter Price, she threw the phone down and put her head in her hands. In the room next door she could hear Christmas adverts on the television, their upbeat jingles jarring with her mood, promising joy and happiness when her feelings were flowing fast in the opposite direction. With a sigh she rubbed at her eyes with the heels of her hand and tried to push out her dark thoughts.

Suddenly the sound of young laughter pierced the air. Slipping off the kitchen stool she peered into the sitting room. William was sprawled on the sofa, arms behind his head, a wide grin splitting his face as he watched a cartoon. With a small smile – he looked like a pint-sized man – she went to join him, tucking his small body against her side. There she tried to let his presence, and the antics on the television, block out the memory of the phone call. Mostly she succeeded.

On Friday, determined to keep busy, she scoured recipes for a chocolate fruitcake and made it with William when he came home from school. On Saturday they iced it. As she swept up the escaped silver balls and wiped icing sugar off William’s face, she felt an unexpected buzz of anticipation and convinced herself she was finally looking forward to Christmas. Her heart though, knew the flutter in her belly wasn’t for Christmas. It was for Daniel.

On Sunday morning, she woke up obsessing about what underwear to put on.

Following ten minutes of frantic searching through her drawers she finally sat on the bed and laughed at herself. She was making Sunday lunch for an attractive man, that was all. They were hardly going to have wild, passionate sex while William was around.

But if he hadn’t been?

Refusing to answer her own question, she dressed – white matching underwear, pretty not sexy – then washed the kitchen floor and squirted bleach into the toilet, as she would for any invited guest. Finally she set about peeling the vegetables while William diligently laid the table.

‘Have you sent that letter off to Father Christmas yet?’ she enquired casually as she tried to chop the carrots into reasonably even slices.

‘Yes.’

Mid-chop, her hand stilled. ‘And are you still not going to tell me what was in it?’

‘Nope,’ he replied cheerfully. ‘Father Christmas knows.’

‘Where did you post it to?’

‘Duh. Father Christmas. The North Pole.’

She searched for the right question to draw him out. ‘I hope you haven’t asked for too many things?’

‘Just two.’

Crappity crap, crap. ‘Two?’

‘Yep.’

Wait till she saw Daniel. Still, surely the racket would be one of the things he wanted. She’d just have to hope his second wish was something she’d already earmarked to buy him.

‘Will Daniel help with my Lego car?’ William asked, carefully putting out the knives and forks, his tongue sticking out in concentration.

She didn’t have the heart to tell him he’d put them the wrong way round. ‘You’ll have to ask him. Remember he’s just flown in from America though, so he’ll be tired. It might have to wait for another day.’

He nodded his head in acceptance, though Melissa knew he desperately wanted someone to help him. She’d tried, but it seemed she lacked the right chromosome when it came to Lego. Apparently it wasn’t enough for the car to have four wheels and a steering wheel. The saddest part was that William did have a dad, but not one he wanted to play with. Or who’d ever wanted to play with him.

Until recently.

Before she could begin worrying again, the doorbell rang. ‘I’ll get it,’ William shouted, scooting off down the hallway.

‘Hey, champ, how have you been?’

Daniel’s question was followed by burst of schoolboy giggles. By the time she got there, Daniel had hoisted William over his shoulder and was tickling his feet remorselessly.

He caught her eye and though his grin remained, his eyes darkened. ‘Missed me?’

‘I may have,’ she replied carefully, her heart beating wildly as her eyes drank him in. A tall, commanding figure dwarfing her small hallway. In faded jeans and a checked shirt, he exuded a vitality that even jet lag couldn’t dim.

Slowly he lowered the squealing William to the floor. Then, his eyes never leaving her face, he leant forwards and kissed her softly on the lips. ‘I’ve missed you,’ he whispered. She opened her mouth to speak, but her words became entangled in her throat. Thankfully he filled the gap. ‘So, what’s your mum’s cooking like?’ he asked William. ‘Should I be worried?’

‘Yes,’ her traitorous son replied with a laugh.

William was talking to him ten to the dozen. Daniel tried to pay attention to the little fella, but by God he found it hard to keep his eyes off Melissa. So far their relationship had been an exercise in self-control and his was slipping, fast. It had been a long week.

‘Daniel?’

Guiltily he dragged his eyes back to William. ‘Sorry, I was miles away. What did you say?’

‘Do you like our tree? Mum and I put it up on Monday.’

Daniel glanced round the corner and eyed up the slightly wonky pine tree. It looked like it had barely survived a silver tinsel avalanche. ‘It looks very festive,’ he managed. ‘Who did the decorating?’

‘We both did.’

‘Both?’ Somehow he couldn’t see designer Melissa having a tinsel fetish.

‘Well, Mum did the lights and the baubles.’ Which Daniel could barely see. ‘I did the tinsel. Mum didn’t want it, but a tree has to have tinsel, doesn’t it?’

‘Obviously.’ Across the table he met Melissa’s eyes and they shared a smile. By the time he’d returned his attention to the once shy but now hard-to-shut-up William, Daniel’s heart felt considerably fuller.

‘Will you help with my car later?’ William asked, shovelling in his last mouthful.

Melissa coughed lightly. ‘Haven’t you forgotten an important word?’

William grinned and damn if that gappy smile didn’t do further funny things to his heart. ‘Please?’

‘I’ll certainly try. What sort of car are we talking here? One in the garage?’

‘Silly,’ William chastised, wrinkling his nose. ‘I’m not old enough to have a car in the garage. It’s a car made of Lego.’

‘Ahh, Lego cars. That just happens to be my speciality.’ He sat back and lay his knife and fork down on his now empty plate. ‘As your mum made the lunch, I guess it’s only fair we help clear up first though, eh?’

‘Okay.’ William moved back his chair and started to help clear the table.

Feeling pleasantly full, Daniel slowly got to his feet. ‘I hope there’s a dishwasher hidden somewhere.’

Melissa raised her eyebrows. ‘And if there isn’t, are you going to withdraw your offer to help?’

Deliberately he rolled up his sleeves. ‘Now what sort of man would that make me?’

‘A normal one.’

He tutted. ‘Very cynical. So tell me, you can cook and win awards for designing clothes. Is there anything you can’t do?’

‘Apparently I can’t build Lego cars.’

‘I’m sure you can.’ William opened the dishwasher – Daniel gave a silent prayer of thanks for its existence – and while the boy loaded it up, Daniel attacked the greasy roasting tins in the sink. ‘Your problem is the car you’ll build will be very practical,’ he continued, now up to his elbows in suds. ‘A large boot, four doors, roomy interior. Zero style.’ He shot her a teasing grin.

‘The tennis player dares to say that to the designer?’

Her playful riposte almost made him forget what they were talking about. ‘I think you’ll find designing a car is quite different to a pair of trousers,’ he countered when he’d unscrambled his brain. ‘Though both should definitely have sex appeal.’

When he’d clattered the last roasting dish onto the drainer, he felt a tug at his arm. ‘Come on, Daniel.’

As William darted up the stairs with all the exuberance of youth, Daniel let out a small sigh. ‘There goes my post-lunch nap on the sofa.’ Drying his hands he shouted, ‘I’ll be up in a minute, Will.’

Melissa – still sitting down at the table – gave a slight start.

‘Sorry, doesn’t he like his name shortened?’

‘No, it’s not that.’ A shadow passed briefly across her face. ‘Lawrence always insisted he was called William so I guess I stick to it out of habit. There’s no reason you can’t shorten it.’ Shrugging her shoulders, she rose to stand next to him. ‘He’ll probably prefer it.’

Because he hated the haunted look she always got when she talked about Lawrence. And because he found it impossible to keep his hands off her, Daniel drew her against him, burying his nose in her hair. ‘Umm, you smell good.’

‘I probably smell of chicken fat.’

‘You smell of flowers, of sexy woman,’ he sniffed again, ‘and maybe a little of chicken fat.’

On a laugh, Melissa pushed him away. ‘Go play with the Lego. I’ll bring you up a cup of coffee to keep you awake.’

He groaned as he let her go and turned to make his way towards the stairs.

‘Wait.’ She slipped her hand into his and squeezed. ‘I know this is the last thing you need after a long flight, but I really appreciate you helping him.’

‘Are you kidding? The chance to revisit my youth and build all those supercars I wanted to build at seven but didn’t have the skill to? This is exactly what I need.’

After three sports cars were built, admired and put in pride of place on William’s shelf, they looked out of the window in astonishment to find it was snowing.

‘We can build a snowman!’ William exclaimed.

Daniel surveyed the small dusting. ‘I’m not sure it’s thick enough, but I imagine if we go to the park we might be able to gather enough for snowball fight.’ He gave Melissa a wicked look. ‘You guys against me. Last man standing …’

She coughed. ‘Or woman.’

If anything his expression became more devilish. ‘That’s not going to be the case, though for the sake of political correctness I’ll rephrase. Last man or woman standing is the winner.’

Drawers were raided as they hunted for gloves and hats. Daniel refused her offer of a pink pair of woollen gloves and insisted he’d be fine. On the way to the park he set out the rules. If you received a direct hit, you lost a point. More than five direct hits against you resulted in elimination.

William was hesitant at first, but with Daniel’s encouragement he got stuck in and his snowballs became bigger and his throws bolder. Despite that, and despite a fair amount of cheating from both her and William – the snow was so soft it was really hard to tell a direct hit – the winner was never in doubt.

‘You could have let us win,’ she complained as they walked back to the house.

‘What?’ he looked at her in amazement. ‘Let you win? Don’t talk like that in front of a child. It’ll give him all the wrong ideas.’

She shook her head, glancing down at his mottled blue hands. ‘Surely you don’t have to win every game you play. You’re lucky not to have frostbite.’

‘There’s no luck about it. I knew I wouldn’t have to throw too many snowballs to have you licked. Tennis isn’t my only game, you know. I’m pretty good at cricket, too. My throws from the boundary are the stuff of legends. And anyway …’

‘You always play to win,’ William interrupted in a terrible imitation of Daniel.

They all burst out laughing. As she caught her breath, Melissa took in William’s dancing grey eyes and Daniel’s flashing white grin and knew her efforts to keep Daniel at arm’s length had been a waste of time. Using a lethal combination of charm, patience and humour, he’d snuck into their lives anyway.

Daniel stayed downstairs while she supervised William’s bath and helped him into bed. When she came back down he was stretched out lengthways on the sofa, arms behind his head, eyes closed. She caught a glimpse of tanned, flat stomach between the bottom of his shirt and the belt on his jeans and her heart fluttered. The desire to press her lips against his skin, to open his shirt and trail her fingers up his chest, was almost overwhelming.

But she wasn’t that brazen. She’d only ever known one man and he’d done the seducing, not her, so instead she lightly touched Daniel’s hand. His lids snapped open and she watched as his eyes slowly focused on her. She didn’t need to be an expert on seduction to read the smouldering desire in their dark depths.

‘Sorry.’ Her voice came out alarmingly husky. ‘William would like you to read him a story before he goes to sleep.’

To his credit, Daniel didn’t sigh. He simply sat up and rubbed his eyes. ‘No problem.’

She watched as he walked out of the room, drawn to his broad shoulders and the way his jeans hugged his hips. Lust was such a rare feeling for her but she recognised the signs very clearly now.

She ached. She wanted.

The sound of the phone burst into her erotic thoughts and reluctantly she went to answer it. The voice on the other end served as a bucket of cold water. ‘Lawrence.’

‘Melissa. You were going to send me some dates.’

Her heart beat frantically and she gulped in air, fighting for calm. ‘I told you last time, if you want to talk about access rights to William you need to go through my solicitor.’

‘How about on his birthday?’ he said, bulldozing over her request. ‘December twenty-ninth I believe.’

It was a measure of how little Lawrence had bothered with his son that Melissa was shocked he’d remembered the date. ‘I can’t. I’m planning a party for him.’

‘Excellent. I’ll come along.’

‘No.’ Damn, why had she mentioned the party? Inhaling deeply, she tried again. ‘I don’t want you at the party, and I don’t want you calling this number again. If you want to see William you need to contact my solicitor, Peter Price.’

‘That’s ludicrous. I shouldn’t have to go through a lawyer to see my own flesh and blood.’

‘Neither should that flesh and blood be scared to see his father, but he is. Talk to Peter,’ she reiterated before slamming the phone down.

Feeling shaky, she slumped onto the sofa and lay back against the cushion.

At the sound of a discreet cough, her eyes flew open. Daniel had squatted down in front of her, his expression concerned. ‘It looks like the cook’s wiped out.’ He trailed his index finger down the side of her face. ‘Is everything okay?’

She struggled to sit up. ‘Yes, sorry. I’m just a bit tired and … well, that was Lawrence on the phone.’

His face hardened. ‘What did he want?’

‘It’s okay.’ In a bid to soothe them both, she rested her hand on his arm and squeezed gently. ‘He wants to see William after Christmas but I told him to go through my solicitor. He’s called Peter Price and apparently comes highly recommended.’

‘Ah, you’ve been in touch with him? Good.’ He surprised her then by standing up. ‘It’s probably time I headed for home.’

‘Oh.’ She hadn’t realised how much she wanted to be held by him, until now.

His large body stilled. ‘Do you want me to stay?’

‘Yes, no. Oh God.’ Mortification shot through her and she jumped to her feet. ‘Sorry. Of course you want to go. You’re probably shattered.’

‘I am tired, yes. But that’s not the only reason I won’t stay.’

She bit at her lip, her heart slowly shrivelling. He’d met someone else. How arrogant of her to expect him to wait for her to come to her senses. ‘That’s okay. I understand.’

‘Do you?’ Before she had a chance to answer he pulled her into his arms. ‘If you only knew how much I want you; have wanted you, ever since I first saw you.’ Relief flooded through her and as his hands ran up and down her back, she melted against him. ‘But if I stay any longer, I’m not sure I can be content with just holding you. Are you ready for more?’

There was a rough edge to his voice that sent shivers through her. ‘Yes.’ A whisper mumbled against his shirt. A truth wrenched out of her even as her mind shouted at her not to be so stupid. She wasn’t ready. Not yet.

Time seemed to stand still as she waited for him to take control. To seize the opportunity he was so clearly waiting for. Instead he kissed the top of her head and drew back. ‘Do you really mean that? Here, now?’

She hung her head. ‘I don’t know. I want to, but …’ she tailed off, shaking her head. ‘Oh God, I’m so out of practice. I’m scared of taking such a big step, and with William upstairs … it doesn’t feel right.’ Staring up at him, she begged him to understand.

He smiled. ‘The part I’m taking away from all that is that you want to. It’s enough. When does William break up from school?’

‘Wednesday. Why?’

‘Would you come away with me next weekend? Both of you?’

Her heart skipped a beat. ‘Away? Where?’

‘I bought a place on the beach a few years ago, when I was trying to get my head round not being able to play tennis again. I found the sea really therapeutic. It’s where I go to get away from everything.’ He gazed down at her. ‘I know December is hardly ideal for it, but I thought William might like a change of scenery.’

Her mind was racing as fast as her pulse. ‘I’m sure he would.’

‘And his mum?’ Daniel ventured softly. ‘Would she like to spend the day, and perhaps the night, with me?’ He silenced her reply with a kiss. ‘I want you to understand there’s no pressure. There are four bedrooms, although in the spirit of openness and honesty it seems only fair to tell you I’m rather hoping you’ll want to spend some of the time in mine.’

Melissa smiled against his chest. ‘I think I might.’

‘Good.’ He planted another soft kiss on her lips. ‘I’ll rest a lot easier knowing I haven’t blown my only chance.’

She followed him to the front door where he tucked his hand under her chin and drew her eyes up to his. ‘I plan on catching up on my sleep over the next few days. You should do the same. If things go the way I’d like, you won’t be getting much of it at the weekend. Good night.’