Decide who will be partner A and who will be partner B. It doesn’t matter which is which.
This assignment takes five minutes. Please do it without the radio or TV on, when you have a bit of privacy, and away from your cell phones. Use some hand lotion—any brand or type is fine. Start by washing and drying your hands. Then each person should rub a tiny bit of lotion on their own hands, just to smooth out any rough spots.
A, take one of B’s hands in yours. Rub that hand for your own pleasure and interest. Perhaps you want to check out the fingernails or calluses or plump places. You may want to rub the hand vigorously or gently, or alternate. B, don’t say or indicate anything—no sighs or faces or words of encouragement—unless it hurts or tickles. In that case, please say so, and if so, A should change what she/he is doing.
A, rub this hand for one minute. Look at it while you’re doing so. After a minute, put this hand down, and take B’s other hand. Rub this hand for a minute, but this time do it for B’s pleasure and enjoyment. B, this time use words or sounds to let A know how you like what she or he is doing. Don’t tell A what to do, just respond to what A is doing so that A knows whether to continue or to change. A, respond to B’s feedback, while also rubbing this hand in the various ways that occur to you. After one minute, put this hand down.
Then switch—B, take one of A’s hands and rub it according to your own interests. After a minute, take A’s other hand and rub it with the goal of giving him or her enjoyment. Remember to look at the hand you’re rubbing.
Afterwards, say a few words to each other about some aspect of your experience. If you both want to have a longer conversation, go ahead. At the very least, each of you should say one thing that was interesting about this time together.