The day couldn’t have been more perfect. Jane Jackson stood by the coach door checking her clipboard as the children climbed aboard and her cousin Jeanette Luxton who had travelled all the way from Taunton to help her, made sure everyone was sitting down. As always, it was hard to find helpers. People were glad to get rid of their children for an afternoon but reluctant to come along for the trip. Jane couldn’t really blame them. Most of the families, even in this well-heeled area, worked hard. It was difficult to get free time and when they did, there was always the garden or the allotment to do or aged parents to visit. Mothers and fathers had little time to themselves and so Sunday school from three till four on a Sunday and the outing from two thirty till five once a year made a welcome break and a time to be alone.
She had the usual stalwarts she knew she could always rely on. Mrs Stevens, Mrs Hawks and Mrs Ibbotson never let her down and they could drum up support in the way of cakes and sandwiches even if they couldn’t persuade people to come along. Jane watched tin after tin going into the boot of the coach and smiled. As usual, there would be plenty to eat. Mr Hawks loaded the big urn and Mr Stevens had made sure the camping stove was all cleaned up and ready to use. The two men kissed their wives goodbye and waved as they climbed aboard the coach. Arnold had volunteered to come too. This was the first time Jane had introduced her new boyfriend to her church friends. He was a bit ‘last minute’ but her father was happy for him to come along. Jane knew he loved children. ‘I’ve brought along a little bit of magic,’ he said as she checked him off the list. He opened his jacket and she saw a bulging bag of sweets. ‘Just in case we need to bribe them to be good,’ he added with a wink.
‘I think you only need to stand up to persuade everyone to behave, darling,’ she teased and he nodded ruefully. Arnold was very tall.
Her father came out of the hired hall. ‘Graham has kindly offered his services too,’ he said, pushing the new pianist forward. The man nodded shyly as Jane thanked him profusely, explaining how difficult it was to retain helpers as he climbed aboard.
‘Connie said she’d be here in time to catch the coach,’ said Jane, turning to her father, ‘so that gives me three people to do the teas, and five of us to play the games with them. With twenty-eight children that should be enough, shouldn’t it?’
‘You are wonderful, my dear,’ Rev Jackson said, giving his daughter a kiss on the cheek. ‘I don’t know how I would manage without you.’
‘Time to get going,’ said the driver irritably. He was looking at his watch. ‘I’ve got another job at three.’
‘There’s one more person to come,’ said Jane. ‘She won’t be long.’
It was wonderful sitting beside Roger as they sped on their way but Connie’s mind was full of unanswered questions. They travelled east chatting about their various jobs and the things they had been doing since they’d last met. As they pulled up outside the pick-up point a dog barked and jumped up at the car, his tongue lolling.
‘What the …’ Roger began.
‘Oh, it’s Pip!’ cried Connie. ‘He must have come down to see Mandy off.’
She opened the door and Pip scrambled in, greeting Connie in his usual exuberant way, his wagging tail swinging Roger across his face. ‘Hey, old fella,’ he laughed. ‘Get that tail into the back seat, will you?’
‘Looks like we’ve missed the coach,’ said Connie, looking around.
‘Do you still want to go?’ asked Roger.
‘I did promise to help,’ said Connie. ‘Jane doesn’t have that many helpers.’
‘Then tell me where to go,’ said Roger, starting the car again.
‘Are you sure?’ said Connie. ‘A Sunday school outing is hardly a man’s idea of fun.’
‘Believe me,’ said Roger. ‘Right now a Sunday school outing is right at the top of my 100 things to do before I die list.’ And laughing, they set off for High Salvington.
As soon as the children were off the coach, the driver turned his vehicle and sped away. Jane organised everybody into a crocodile and they walked the last few yards up the hill and into the meadow. As soon as she gave the word, the children ran freely like calves leaping from their enclosure after the long winter months. Jane watched them jumping and running, shouting and chasing each other and smiled. Even though it was such hard work and she’d be exhausted by the time they all went home, to see them as happy as this made it all worthwhile. They had such energy, such a joy of life and up here in the late summer sunshine, they were carefree and happy and it didn’t matter how much noise they made.
Jane blew her whistle and called everybody together.
Once the groans and complaints had died down, she laid down some ground rules. ‘In a minute,’ she told them, ‘we are all going to play rounders but first of all, I have a little competition for you.’ She handed each child a piece of paper. ‘On your paper, you will see a list of things to find. I want the older ones to be with the little ones who can’t read. There is a prize for the people who bring back everything on the list.’ Already some of the children were standing up and ready to go. ‘Wait a minute,’ Jane said firmly. ‘You will find everything you have on the list in this meadow. I do not … I repeat, I do not want anyone to wander off in the woods on their own. Understood?’
There was a collective, ‘Yes, Miss,’ and the children set off on their treasure hunt.
Mrs Hawks and Mrs Stevens had found the ideal spot to set up the picnic and Arnold and Graham put up the trestle table. Once Jeanette had the snow white sheet pulled over the bare board, the table already looked grand. She then looked around for some large stones to weigh it down at each corner. Arnold had gone back for the crockery, left in boxes at the side of the narrow lane, while the women returned for the sandwiches. Jane left them to it. It was a well-oiled machine and Mrs Ibbotson who had waited in the lane to make sure nobody pinched anything, soon joined them.
Jane turned her attention to the children. She enjoyed watching them. Little Patrick Rivers had been ill most of the winter, but now his cheeks had colour in them. Jenny Wright had had a brush with polio and although her legs were not quite back to normal, she was making a valiant attempt to keep up with her big sister. Jack Albert had always been a bit of a loner, but now he had plenty of friends. Jane thought back to the Christmas party when they had been playing hide and seek. She and Jack Albert had been searching for the others. ‘Let’s see if anyone is in the toilet,’ she’d suggested. Jack hurried to look and she’d chuckled when she’d found him lifting the lid and peering into the bowl. Little Elsie Anderson came up to her and gave her a gappy smile. ‘Thank you for inviting me, Mith,’ she lisped and then ran off again.
Jane sighed happily. Up here on High Salvington, they were as safe as houses and with Arnold by her side, what more could a girl want?
‘I know a really good place to find what’s on your list,’ he said, stepping up beside her. ‘Here, take my hand and I’ll show you.’
Mandy looked up at him trustingly and slipped her hand in his. Her hand fluttered a little in his and he felt his pulse quicken. See? She wanted him as much as he wanted her. He smiled down at her angelic face, loving her pretty blonde curls and the two red ribbons she wore in her hair. He led her away from the others, keeping close to the wooded area, where they could be alone. Gradually, the excited shouts of the other children faded.
Mandy spotted a bird’s feather and bent to pick it up but he egged her on.
‘No, not that one. I know a much better place where you can get loads of them.’
‘But Miss Jackson said we shouldn’t go into the woods,’ Mandy protested mildly.
‘It’s all right,’ he said soothingly. ‘She said don’t go alone, didn’t she? Well, you’re not alone. You’re with me. I’ll keep you safe. Besides, Miss Jackson knows where we are. She knows where the best bird feathers are.’ She looked up at him trustingly and he stroked her lovely blonde curls. One of her ribbons came off in his hand. ‘Whoops,’ he laughed. ‘Sorry.’
‘I want to go back now,’ she said but he wasn’t listening. What a pity they’d cut her hair short but the red ribbons on either side of her head had made her attractive. No, he decided, she’d look even prettier with it long. He could feel himself harden. Just a little further and then she’d be his. ‘Shall I tickle you and make you laugh?’
He tickled her neck and Mandy giggled.
‘Shall I? I’m coming, I’m coming, I’m coming.’ The child did her best to wriggle from his grip but he held on tight. He tickled her under her arms and down her body and she laughed. She enjoyed it.
‘I’ve got something to show you,’ he said, his voice tight with the thrill of it. ‘I’ve got a little friend I want you meet down here.’ She stared at the button on his trousers where he was pointing with a puzzled expression. ‘Would you like to meet him?’
He could feel her tugging at his hand again and smiled. His head was buzzing. His heartbeat speeded up. She was only pretending to pull away. She wanted it too. She was as eager as he was. Keeping a tight grip on her, he unbuttoned his trousers deftly with the other hand.
‘You’re hurting me,’ she whimpered.
‘Don’t you want to meet my friend? Come with me and I’ll show you. His name is Mr Charles.’
Connie and Roger parked in the lane. It narrowed to the point where the ground was too soft for vehicles. Pip leapt out barking joyfully and began his sniff and mark routine.
As Connie headed towards the hill, Roger caught her arm. ‘I owe you an explanation, Connie,’ he said. ‘I’ve been avoiding you.’
‘I had noticed,’ Connie laughed nervously and her throat tightened. Oh, now he was going to say he didn’t want to see her again. She glanced at his firm jawline. Please give us one more chance? she said in her head. I’ve missed you, Roger. You’ve been a real friend to me and I need you even more now Mum and Clifford are leaving me.
‘I’ve been making difficult decisions,’ he began again.
Her heart sank a little more. Her mind was racing ahead of him and she wanted to say, Roger, I’ve made a stupid mistake. I shouldn’t have let Eugène make love to me. I let my feelings run away with me. I was unhappy and he was unhappy because he’s just lost the love of his life. You won’t want me now, will you, Roger? Not when you find out I’m damaged goods …
Roger had pulled her in front of him and was looking directly at her. Connie blushed. Could he see it in her face? What she’d done with Eugène? Did it show, that first time?
‘I once told you that I would carry on with my job until such time as I found something I cared for even more.’
She nodded.
‘Well, the time has come to pack it in,’ he said. ‘I can’t keep my mind on the job anymore, Connie. I’m distracted all the time.’
Connie didn’t know what to say. Was he asking her to talk him out of it? Did he want sympathy? She didn’t think she could do that. She knew he loved what he did but it was dangerous. She couldn’t bear the thought of something awful happening to him even if she never saw him again. How Eva and her mother put up with it all for all these years she never knew.
‘I don’t know what to say,’ she said quietly.
‘You could say you feel the same way.’
‘The same way?’
‘Oh Connie, you silly goose, this is my God-awful clumsy way of telling you that I’ve fallen in love with you.’
She was stunned. She should say something but all at once, her mouth wouldn’t work. Love? He loved her? The revelation hit her somewhere in the pit of her stomach but it wasn’t a pleasant experience. She felt herself begin to panic.
‘Oh, I should have booked a table somewhere romantic and given you flowers,’ he groaned. ‘What a fool I am, but I couldn’t keep it inside any longer. Please say something, Connie.’
‘Oh, Roger,’ she said. ‘I didn’t think … I mean, you didn’t reply to my letter … so I thought …’
Connie was confused. When he’d told her she should have been on top of the world but she felt numb. Now that the initial shock had gone, she felt … nothing …
He leaned over and pulled her closer and then his mouth searched for hers. As he kissed her she was thinking that this should have been the most wonderful moment of her life, but it wasn’t. Roger Maxwell loved her but she didn’t feel a thing. Connie took a step back and looked up at him. ‘Roger,’ she began. ‘We have to be careful. The children …’
‘Yes, yes of course,’ he smiled.
As they began to walk towards the meadow, they could hear the children’s voices and the occasional scream of excitement. ‘Sounds like everyone is having a great time,’ said Connie weakly.
Pip raced past them. Roger reached for her hand and smiled. ‘Where’s he off to in such a hurry?’
‘Probably scented a rabbit,’ she said and he had to stop and kiss her again.
Jane was overjoyed to see them. ‘We could do with another man around,’ she said when she saw Roger. ‘Some of the boys are a bit boisterous.’
‘I thought you had men,’ said Connie.
‘Arnold is around somewhere,’ said Jane. ‘Oh, there he is. You haven’t met him yet, have you?’ She called his name and a tall lanky man walked towards them coming from the direction of the woods. He towered over Jane and Connie noticed how much her face softened when she looked up at him.
‘Where have you been?’ Jane asked. ‘You’re all covered in scratches.’
‘I went on a call of nature,’ he said, dusting down his trouser leg. ‘I thought I’d better walk quite a way inside in case one of the children saw me but on my way out, some dog went flying past me and I fell over a tree root.’
‘Oh dear,’ said Connie. ‘That might have been Pip. He’d probably caught a scent of something. Are you all right?’
Arnold brushed the sleeve of his jacket and put out his hand. ‘Fine,’ he said, ‘pleased to meet you both.’
‘We’ve just got to get the blankets spread out,’ said Jane, handing them to Roger and Connie, ‘and then I can blow the whistle for tea. Arnold, can you and Graham organise the boys on one side and girls on the other. Where is Graham?’
‘Who is Graham?’ asked Connie.
‘The new pianist,’ said Jane. ‘To be honest, he’s been a bit of a dream this afternoon. Dad asked him to come just to swell the numbers but I don’t think I’ll ask him next year. He hasn’t helped much at all.’
The ladies from the church had got the water boiling, so tea was ready. Jane blew her whistle long and hard and the hungry children came running.
The first touch was always the sweetest. He groaned with delight.
Mandy was terrified. She didn’t like this one bit. He had taken her away from the others even though Miss Jackson had said they should keep close together. The whistle had gone. She was supposed to run to Miss Jackson when the whistle went but he wouldn’t let go of her hand and she certainly didn’t like Mr Charles. Mummy always said that things down there were private. She had tried to pull away but he kept pressing her hand onto him. The man was pulling a funny face and making a funny noise and then to her horror Mr Charles began to move. The more she struggled to get her hand back the bigger it seemed to get.
‘No,’ she protested. ‘I don’t like it.’ She was crying now. Big tears and sobs which racked her whole body. ‘I don’t want to.’
‘That’s a pity,’ he said huskily, ‘because Mr Charles likes you and he wants to look at you.’
‘No!’ cried Mandy. ‘I want to go back with the others.’
‘If you go back now,’ he said harshly, his voice taking on a slight edge, ‘I shall tell Miss Jackson that you’ve been a very naughty girl.’
The child froze.
‘I shall tell her you wouldn’t hold my hand when I told you to. I shall tell her you made Mr Charles very cross. Do you want me to tell Miss Jackson that?’
Miserably, Mandy shook her head.
‘Now let me show you my friend Mr Charles,’ he said, his voice softening again. ‘He wants to be your friend too.’
They both heard a dog barking in the distance but the man ignored it as he fished in his open trousers. Mandy stared in horror as Mr Charles emerged.
The children were sitting on the two blankets. ‘Sit crossed-legged,’ Jane told them, ‘and then we’ll say grace.’
Out in the fresh air, the smell of egg sandwiches was overwhelmingly good. So were the children. They put their hands together and as Arnold said grace, Jane, diligent as ever, was busy counting heads.
‘Somebody’s missing,’ she announced as the first tin of sandwiches was handed around. ‘There’s only twenty-seven.’
Connie counted with her and realised who the missing child was. ‘It’s Mandy,’ said Connie.
‘Has anyone seen Mandy?’ Jane demanded. The children looked from one to the other and shrugged.
‘I saw a little girl walking towards the woods,’ said Jeanette.
‘Why would she be doing that?’ said Jane. ‘I told everyone to stay out here in the open.’
As the adults looked from one to the other their anxiety levels rose.
Connie frowned. ‘It’s not like Mandy to wander off.’
‘You stay here with the children,’ Roger told Jane. ‘We’ll go and look for her.’
The barking dog was coming closer. ‘Pip,’ she whispered and he came rushing out of the copse at full pelt and hurled himself at Stan. In the ensuing panic, Stan let go of Mandy’s hand but the child remained frozen to the spot. Stan lashed out with his foot and the dog backed off and bared his teeth, a low threatening growl coming from his throat. Mandy stumbled backwards.
‘Stay there!’ Stan shouted at the child and once again she froze.
Pip put himself between Mandy and Stan and began backing into her until Mandy was forced to move backwards. Stan looked around desperately. If he didn’t know better, he would say it was exactly the same dog he’d encountered the last time. He’d been forced to let the little girl go that time. Well, it wasn’t going to happen again. Mandy was crying hard. He had to shut her up. Too much noise and they’d draw attention to themselves.
‘And stop that bloody racket.’
The child sucked back her sobs and wet herself.
Stan launched his foot at the dog again but it missed its mark. The dog was snarling and growling fiercely. He had to find some way to get this wretched animal out of the way. Looking around he picked up a solid looking piece of wood. The dog knew what was coming and rushed at him, trying to get there first. They hurled themselves at each other several times before the wood caught Pip on the side of his head. There was a shrill yelp and the dog fell to the ground. Mandy stared at him in horror. Stan stood over him gasping for breath. ‘That’s sorted you out good and proper,’ he snarled and he booted the dog in his side for good measure, but Pip didn’t respond.
When the man turned back to Mandy, something kicked in in her mind. He had just kicked her dog. He was a bad man, a very bad man. Mandy turned and ran, screaming her head off as she flew.
‘Come back here,’ he shouted.
But for once she wasn’t listening. She ran deeper into the coppice and he relaxed. The stupid brat didn’t know it but she was running away from the others, into an area where the trees hadn’t been thinned out. With a bit of luck, she’d reach a wooded wall and be trapped. He changed his tactic again. ‘Mandy, come back at once or I shall have to tell Miss Jackson what a naughty little girl you’ve been. You know you shouldn’t be running about in the woods. Miss Jackson told you not to do that, didn’t she?’
He was quite close to her when he tripped over an exposed tree root. At the sound of his fall, she screamed again and ran in another direction. Damn it, now she was heading back towards the meadow. He couldn’t let her go back in that state. There was no telling what she might say. Ignoring the painful bruise on his side, he jumped up as quickly as he could and ran after her again.
The ground in this part of the coppice was uneven. Small hillocks fell away into quite deep ruts and the place was littered with fallen trees and broken branches. The child ran wildly missing the overhanging branches which bothered him and made him slower.
‘If you don’t stop this minute, I shall slap your bottom,’ he shouted. That usually did the trick. On the whole, children were anxious to please and by nature obedient to the voice of authority. He slithered and slid after her and almost caught up with her when all of a sudden, she fell with a scream and vanished.
She’s gone down a rabbit hole, he told himself. I’ve got her now. I’ll pull her out and be nice to her. She’d wet herself, hadn’t she. That would make things really simple. He’d say, ‘Take your knickers off, darling. You don’t want to be walking around with wet knicks on do you?’ But when he reached the spot where she had fallen he couldn’t believe it. This was no rabbit hole. It was much deeper. He could see the top of her head and when she looked up at him, she was a long way down. He could have lain on the ground, leaned over and pulled her out but the ground alongside was unstable. It creaked and small clods of earth were still falling. He stood over the hole with his hands on his hips and looked down. ‘You see what happens to naughty little girls who won’t do what they’re told?’ he said cruelly.
‘Please,’ she sobbed. ‘Please Mr Graham, I don’t like it here. I will be good, I promise.’
‘I would like to help you,’ he said, shaking his head slowly, ‘but Mr Charles is very upset with you. You weren’t very nice to him, were you?’
‘I will be,’ she pleaded. ‘Please get me out. I don’t like it down here.’
But then he hesitated. Her face wasn’t angelic anymore. It was dirty and bleeding from lots of little scratches. She had nettle stings under her eye and her lovely blonde curls were a mess and she’d lost both of her red ribbons. Her peachy cheeks were streaked with tears and there was yellow snot hanging from her nose. Ugh. She wasn’t his little cherub anymore. His lip curled. She might as well stay there for all he cared. She was nothing more than a dirty little slut and he didn’t want her anymore.
He stamped his foot a couple of times and she began to slide again. He smiled. Then he heard someone calling. He looked around frantically and the stupid kid began to shout back. He grabbed an exposed tree root and shook it. The earth fell away quickly and he only just stopped himself from going into the hole himself. He scrambled backwards, then one more stamp on the ground and she was gone.