The Reader of This Poem

The reader of this poem

Is as cracked as a cup

As floppy as a flip-flop

As mucky as a pup

As troublesome as bubblegum

As brash as a brush

As bouncy as a double-tum

As quiet as a sshhh …

As sneaky as a witch’s spell

As tappy-toe as jazz

As empty as a wishing-well

As echoey as as as as as as … as … as …

As bossy as a whistle

As prickly as a pair

Of boots made out of thistles

And elephant hair

As vain as trainers

As boring as a draw

As smelly as a drain is

Outside the kitchen door

As hungry as a wave

That feeds upon the coast

As gaping as the grave

As GOTCHA! as a ghost

As fruitless as a cake of soap

As creeping-up as smoke

The reader of this poem, I hope,

Knows how to take a joke!