Wouldn’t It Be Funny If You Didn’t Have a Nose?

You couldn’t smell your dinner

If you didn’t have a nose

You couldn’t tell a dirty nappy

From a summer rose

You couldn’t smell the ocean

Or the traffic, I suppose

Oh wouldn’t it be funny

If you didn’t have a nose?

You couldn’t smell your mummy

If you didn’t have a nose

You couldn’t tell an orange

From a row of smelly toes

You couldn’t smell the burning

(think how quick a fire grows)

Wouldn’t it be funny

If you didn’t have a nose?

Where would we be without our hooters?

Nothing else would really suit us.

What would we sniff through?

How would we sneeze?

What would we wipe

Upon our sleeves?

You couldn’t smell a rat

If you didn’t have a nose

You couldn’t tell a duchess

From a herd of buffaloes

And … mmmm that Gorgonzola

As it starts to decompose

Oh wouldn’t it be funny

If you didn’t have a nose?

Where would we be without our hooters?

Nothing else would really suit us.

And think of those who

Rub their noses

Life would be tough for

Eskimoses

You couldn’t wear your glasses

If you didn’t have a nose

And what would bullies aim for

When it came to blows?

Where would nostrils be without them?

When it’s runny how it glows

Oh wouldn’t it be funny

If you didn’t have a …

have a …

have a …

a …

a … choo!