The Tofu-Eating Tiger

If a tiger invites you round for tea

and offers you tofu,

you can take it from me

he’s only pretending.

It’s merely a ploy

to fool an innocent girl or boy

into thinking he’s sweet.

A vegetarian tiger who doesn’t eat meat.

Rubbish! Just look at those jaws.

Were they designed for chewing rice?

And those claws. For peeling bananas?

Take my advice:

Stay calm. Be polite.

Eat up your tofu and ask for more.

When the feline is in the kitchen

make a beeline for the door.