5 Ways to Stop Grizzly Bears from Spoiling Your Picnic

1) Shoo them away.

2) Lend them your teddy bears to play with.

3) Have food that Grizzly Bears don’t like (e.g. Fish heads … Donkey drops … Rat toenails … Frog eyes … Pig whiskers … Baboon bellybuttons … Bat milk …). Definitely NOT Honey!

4) Have the picnic in a country where there aren’t any Grizzly Bears:

South America for instance.

(But watch out for tarantulas, crocodiles, boa constrictors, giant hamsters and child-eating goldfish!)

5) Learn a few Grizzly Bear phrases like:

‘Grrr’ (‘Good afternoon.’)
‘Grra Grra’ (‘I’m sorry, but this is a private picnic.’)
‘GURRR GURRR’ (‘Scram, or I shall call the armed militia.’)