THESE ARE FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS that are not addressed in the body of this work but are important issues that should be thoughtfully considered.
1. Is it a good idea for children to participate in visits?
When appropriate, include children in your visits to the sick. Children can lift the spirits of lonely, hurting persons in ways that our best efforts cannot. Their participation is also a wonderful way of training them to care for people. However, there are times when children should not accompany you on a visit — when a patient is in intense pain, is in a section of the hospital (such as the intensive care unit) where infections that are passed on can be harmful to the patient, or is a homebound person who is uncomfortable around children. These are just a few examples, but ultimately you will need to exercise wisdom and prayerful discernment in making a decision. When unsure, it is best to err on the safe side, knowing there will always be other opportunities to train and include your children in your labor.
2. Can playing musical instruments and singing be effective ways to care for the sick?
Yes, but only if you are gifted to do so. We don’t want a sincere, well-meaning tone-deaf visitor bringing more misery on sick individuals. However, there are appropriate times to use music to lift spirits, soothe aches, and communicate biblical truth. It is important to proceed with sensitivity, based on the environment. Don’t bring cymbals or play loudly in an emergency room, of course. But taking a group of people to a nursing home to sing Christmas carols at Christmastime is appropriate and deeply meaningful for singers and listeners alike.
3. How do I relate with other family members who are in the hospital room?
Always introduce yourself to everyone in the room and treat each of them with kindness and respect. If the patient is asleep or unconscious, others in the room can provide you with an update on the patient’s condition. You may find opportunities to minister to the family and friends who are there. Still, we need to make sure that our main focus is on the patient. If you are talking with the family, make sure you keep your conversation relevant to the needs of the sick individual you came to visit.
4. What do I wear to visit someone who is in the hospital?
Use good judgment and common sense. Always take into consideration who you are visiting and what will be comfortable for them. Those from an older generation will probably expect you to be dressed more formally, while those of a younger generation will be comfortable with more casual attire. A safe middle ground is business casual. For men, this means shirts with button-down collars and dress pants or khakis (no jeans). For women, this typically means skirts or dresses that come to below the knee, or dress pants or khakis. Choose conservative shirts that are not too revealing. It is wise to be thoughtful about this issue, but don’t obsess to the point of being more concerned about what you are wearing than about the care of the person you are visiting. Don’t choose your wardrobe based on a fear of man.
5. At what time of day should most visits take place?
Try to honor the hospital’s visiting hours if at all possible. When that isn’t an option, determine how important is it that you pay a visit before another appropriate time would present itself. Although hospital patients sleep on and off throughout the day, avoid exceptionally early or late visits, which is a good general rule for hospitals and homes.
6. How do I lead into a spiritual conversation?
See appendix 2 for a couple of helpful examples of spiritual conversations.
7. How do I find a person’s room in a hospital or nursing home?
You can generally call the hospital and request the patient’s room number. Or, when you get to the hospital or nursing home, go to the information desk. The staff will give you the room number and give you the quickest and easiest route to the room. Hospitals can be overwhelming for some people, especially for those who aren’t in them very often. Don’t be embarrassed to ask for assistance. It is a way to cultivate humility and utilize the hospital’s resources.
8. When is it appropriate to take someone with you?
Another way to ask the question is, “When should we take someone with us?” Here are a few great reasons: you need a second person for accountability reasons; you aren’t comfortable going by yourself; you want to experience fellowship with another person; or you are ready to provide a training experience for another person. If you do take someone with you, take advantage of their observations of you in that environment and ask for feedback after the visit is over. The more intentional you are in evaluating your efforts, the more you will learn how to be effective in serving others.
9. How can I be respectful to the medical team caring for the people I visit?
It is tempting to bypass the nurses’ station when coming to visit, especially if you already have the patient’s updated information and room number or have been there previously. Remember that you reflect the gospel to those you encounter along the way, not just to the patient. Make a habit of stopping by the nurses’ station, if for no other reason than to introduce yourself to the nurses who are caring for the person you have come to see. Ask how the patient is doing and if they have any updated information to share about their condition. Privacy laws typically prevent nurses from sharing much. However, by waiting patiently and speaking kindly to them, we affirm their authority and role in the care of the patient. This communicates respect, affirms them in their labor, and, most importantly, conveys a helpful picture of the gospel when we introduce ourselves as a pastor, deacon, or fellow church member of the patient.
10. How do I approach visiting someone who shares a room with another patient?
Though a semiprivate room is frequently seen as an inconvenience, it can also be seen as a great opportunity. We must remember to be polite, respectful, and sensitive so we do not disturb other patients when we come to visit. Nevertheless, always assume that the person in the other bed is attentive and listening to what you say when you visit. Whatever Scriptures, prayers, kind words, truths of the gospel, and hopeful promises of God you share with those you visit will also be heard by the other patient(s) in the room. The power of the Holy Spirit can reveal the truth of the gospel to him or her in the same way it can to the one you are visiting. As you leave, use pastoral wisdom to discern whether God has opened a door to minister to the other patient.
11. Should a pastor anoint with oil when praying for the sick?
This question is most often raised in light of James’s instruction for “the elders of the church to pray over [the sick] and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord” (James 5:14). Despite the fact that Scripture gives clear instruction on this matter, a debate remains among faithful pastors as to whether this practice should continue in today’s church. Though people take many different positions on this issue, I believe the debate can be narrowed to two positions.
Medicinal Purposes: Some argue that in James’s day anointing with oil was considered a medical means to aid the healing process, one that was to be accompanied by praying with faith for God to heal. Those who argue against anointing with oil today point out that oil is no longer used to treat sickness. A modern equivalent of this position would be to seek medical help while also praying in faith for God to heal according to his will.
Spiritual Purposes: This position argues for a New Testament connection with the Old Testament anointing of oil as a means of setting someone apart for God’s blessing and Spirit to come. Those who adopt this position conclude that we should continue this practice today, anointing with oil as we ask God to show his favor on the sick and bring healing as the elders pray in faith. Proponents of this position may want to take a small bottle of oil with them on their visits for anointing and praying for the sick.
Determine first which position you feel is more accurate and binding to your conscience, and then decide if it would be valuable for you as a pastor to use anointing with oil along with your prayers for the sick.
12. What are some practical tools to use when visiting new parents in the hospital?
Yes, you read that correctly — I wrote “parents.” What does visiting new parents have to do with visiting the sick? Pastors who serve in churches that have a majority of younger people may find there aren’t many members who are dying. Yes, there will always be younger members who get sick, die from cancer, or die suddenly in a tragic accident. Some young children will die as well, but typically when a pastor is caring for the sick and dying in his congregation, it will most commonly be with those who are older.
Because of this, let me briefly address how to care for those you visit in the hospital after the birth of a new child. Pastors of churches with many young couples can stay very busy with fruitful visitation in hospitals if they visit the parents of every baby born into their congregation. In fact, if new babies are being born, I encourage you to celebrate these moments with the new parents. Here are ten practical tools to consider as you engage in ministry to parents of a new baby:
1. Be mindful of the stress and lack of sleep of new parents.
2. Be sensitive to the mother’s recovery.
3. Introduce yourself to family in the room.
4. Wash your hands.
5. Hold the baby (if comfortable doing so).
6. Enjoy it!
7. Read Psalm 139:13 – 16.
8. Pray for the parents.
9. Plead for the soul of that child.
10. Keep an eye on how long you stay (typically less than twenty minutes).
This kind of ministry can be a great way to get your feet wet in going to hospitals, getting comfortable in them, and preparing for the more difficult hospital visits that every pastor is sure to encounter during his ministerial career.