SPIRITUAL CARE FOR THE SICK
Theological Precision
I venture to say that the greatest earthly blessing that God can give to any of us is health, with the exception of sickness.
Charles Spurgeon, An All-Round Ministry
DOCTRINE LAYS THE FOUNDATION for application. The apostle Paul models this pattern in his New Testament letters. Many of the great Christian preachers of history have also borrowed this approach, and it is equally helpful to us in thinking about effective spiritual care of the sick. Though we can be effective in some practical ways and have some measure of wisdom pastorally, if our care is devoid of the hope of the gospel and the promises in God’s word, the hope and encouragement we offer will be nothing more than an illusion.
Ask Leading Questions
You will need to be deliberate about your conversations when you visit the sick, and you should anticipate having to lead the interaction with the person you are seeing. The best way to prepare is to think about the types of questions that might eventually lead to a conversation beyond the day-to-day — to a spiritual conversation about the truth of the gospel and its promises. As you prepare, remember to whom you are talking. Most people who are sick or afflicted are, at the very least, uncomfortable. Some may also be dealing with intense pain, be in and out of consciousness, or be distracted by other family members in the room. Before we begin to ask questions, we should heed the wise counsel of David Dickson: “Don’t let us strain them with anything requiring long or continuous attention, and let our change from one subject to another be natural and easy.”4 Give thoughtful consideration about what you should ask, and then proceed.
Here is a pattern that has been helpful for me to follow. I begin by asking the person about themselves and about their condition and the kind of treatment they are getting. Then I ask about their family, specifically about who has been caring for them during this time. Then in some way I try to turn the conversation to topics of a spiritual nature. A helpful way to do this is to ask how you can pray for them. The Holy Spirit will often open an opportunity through this question and allow you to talk about eternal issues. Ask them how they are struggling. How are they relating to God through all of this? The most important theological question to ask, if appropriate, is, “Are you ready to die and stand before God?”5 We ask questions so we can better learn about their situation and how they are handling it. This helps us to better know how to care for them both physically and spiritually. Good, thoughtful questions should lead us to talk about God and the hope we have — a hope that is only found in Christ. This is a hope we share together, both those who are sick and those who are healthy. Our questions should be sensitive to circumstances, but they should be God honoring and gospel driven in content.
Read Scripture
A young seminary student in my church decided to visit a dying church member in the hospital. He had very little experience with visitation, yet he heard me challenging our congregation to care for one of our longtime, faithful members who had taken a sudden turn for the worse. The student walked into her hospital room and found the woman in a disturbing state. She was semiconscious, gasping for every breath, and having seizures. He also found something quite unusual — there was no family in the room.
What would you have done in this situation?
Knowing there was nothing more to be done for her body and that the family was not around, he simply opened his Bible and began to read to her. As he stood over the bed of this dying woman gasping for breath, he read about the glorious character of God and his faithful promises to his adopted children in Christ. The woman passed away soon after this faithful brother left the room. In that moment, his instincts were sound. He knew that God’s word is alive and active and sharper than any two-edged sword (Hebrews 4:12). Those who care for the sick must be prepared to have the truth of God’s word on their lips to respond well when faced with difficult circumstances.
So how can we better prepare for these situations? I recommend meditating and studying through several Scriptures that may encourage the person you are going to see. It may be helpful to think through these passages in categories. Here are four categories I use, with a few suggested examples:
• Passages of comfort: Psalms 23; 28; 34; 46; 62; 145; Hebrews 4:14 – 16
• Succinct gospel passages: John 11:25 – 26; Romans 5:6 – 11; 2 Corinthians 5:17 – 21; Ephesians 2:1 – 10
• Passages dealing with the purpose of suffering for the believer: 2 Corinthians 12:7 – 9; James 1:2 – 4; 1 Peter 1:6 – 7; 4:12 – 19
• Passages related to the reality and hope of eternity with Christ: John 10:27 – 30; 14:1 – 3; Philippians 1:21 – 23; 1 Peter 1:3 – 5
Having a few passages memorized or on your mind when you visit will allow you to be better equipped for the unexpected. And in case you missed the obvious, make sure you bring your Bible with you!
Pray the Gospel
One morning, I received a call from a nurse at a local hospital asking me to come to the hospital as quickly as possible. The non-Christian spouse of one of our members was moments away from dying. I had no idea what I would find when I arrived. I walked into a room full of family members, with a heartbroken husband motioning me to stand beside his wife’s bed. The husband was also suffering from some medical problems and had a tracheostomy that prevented him from speaking. It didn’t take me long to see why I had been summoned. The man motioned to me to pray over his wife as the doctor removed her ventilator. Twenty minutes earlier, I had been in my office neck-deep in my studies. Now, I was being asked to pray a final prayer over a dying, non-Christian woman in front of her husband and fifteen to twenty non-Christian family members. I didn’t have time to prepare, much less to think about, what I would say.
I decided to pray the gospel for this dying woman, her husband, and this room full of non-Christian family. I did not pray for God to spare her. I did not pray that God would heal her. I did not pray a manipulating request that God would receive her in her unrepentant state (which is what I think they expected me to pray). I prayed that the gospel was her only hope, and I prayed it in such a way that others in the room would leave with the clear understanding that the gospel was their only hope as well.
What do I mean by “praying the gospel”? Praying the gospel does not have to be complicated. It can be something as simple as this:
Father in heaven, as we are reminded at this moment of the fragility of life and the reality of our own mortality, we thank you that you remain righteous, just, and holy in all your ways as God and our Creator. We confess we have rebelled against your perfect word and character and deserve your just wrath and punishment because of our sins. Yet we thank you that you are rich in mercy and have provided a way for us to escape this judgment and be eternally reconciled to you. This hope is found only through your own Son’s death on the cross in our place and his resurrection from the dead to give us new life. How great is your love that you would allow your perfect Son to die in the place of sinners by absorbing and satisfying your wrath so we could be made righteous before you. O God, thank you that this gracious offer of salvation comes, not by our own works, but by turning from our sins and trusting, by faith, in the person and work of Jesus. Father, may this be the hope and joy of us all, whether healthy or moments from death, so that you and your gospel would be known and glorified. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
God taught me an invaluable lesson that day in the hospital room. When the gospel is prayed, the gospel is heard. Praying in the room that day, I longed for this dying woman to hear and receive Christ. In the moments before she faced judgment, my earnest hope was for her and her lost family members to hear the truth. If we truly believe that faith comes from hearing the message (Romans 10:17), we should never leave a hospital room, nursing home, rehabilitation center, or home of a sick person (or healthy person, for that matter) without praying the hope of God in Christ.
When you visit someone, make an effort to speak about God’s righteousness, man’s sinfulness, and Christ’s death on the cross in our place for our sins. I realize that many circumstances can make this difficult to do. But nothing should prevent you from praying the gospel. Most people you visit will be open to receiving prayer, and it is a wonderful opportunity to speak truth to them before God and others in a way that feels natural. Remember that it is God alone through his Holy Spirit who transforms the darkest heart. Whether through prayer or proclamation, we should see every visit as a divine appointment to make known the saving power of the gospel.
Affirm the Promises and Attributes of God
God’s promises, given to us through his word, expose our false hopes. But it is not merely knowing the promises of God that gives us hope; it is actually knowing and trusting the God who gave us these promises. Before you affirm the promises to someone, point them to the God of the promises. Use Scripture to bring to life the truth that the Lord is “righteous in all his ways and faithful in all he does” (Psalm 145:17). Remind them that God is sovereign over all things, including their affliction. Encourage them to know that God is omniscient (knows all things), omnipotent (all-powerful), omnipresent (everywhere), faithful, loving, and perfectly just, even as they suffer.
After lifting up and calling attention to the faithful, unchanging character of God, read to them the promises God makes to his chosen people in Christ. Read that nothing can separate them from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:39). Remind them that God is their refuge and strength in distress (Psalm 59:16). Encourage them that their soul’s hope is in God alone (Psalm 42:11). As we leave them, we want them to know more of God’s character and promises, with these things on their minds and hearts, rather than leaving them with just our own wisdom and thoughts.
Trust God’s Sovereign Plan
We must be deliberate and intentional in our care. Ultimately, though, we do the work of ministry knowing that we serve a sovereign God who is always working, and our peace must come from resting in that reality. Because God rules and controls all things, this theological consideration should lead to several expectations.
First, we should expect that God is working through these situations, regardless of the visible outcome. God can certainly use sickness and affliction to bring about salvation. God also uses sickness to mold and shape believers toward a heightened faithfulness when their health returns. Richard Baxter offers helpful instruction, suggesting the following as a way of nurturing an awakening: “If they recover, be sure to remind them of their promises and resolutions in time of sickness. Go to them purposely to set these home to their consciences; and whenever, afterwards, you see them remiss, go to them, and put them in mind of what they said when they were stretched on a sick-bed.”6 Often people forget the promises and commitments they make when they are facing sickness or affliction. As one caring for them, take time to remember these conversations and recall them at a later date. Whether sickness leads to salvation, recovery, or sweeter fellowship with Jesus until death, remind them to remember the ways they have seen God at work.
Second, we should expect that God will use us. Even though we can be insensitive, fumble our words, and have glaring weaknesses that can make us painfully ineffective, God is powerful and gracious, and he will use us to fulfill his purposes. One of these purposes is to mold and shape us toward greater trust in and dependence on him. The sovereignty and goodness of God is magnified when our own weakness and failure are made evident and we are ministered to by afflicted and suffering Christians. If God in his infinitely wise plan ministers to us through the sick, surely God can and will use us and our weaknesses to minister to them!
Third, we should expect that, by the power of the Holy Spirit, God will give us the words to say. D. A. Carson captures the common apprehension many feel as we worry about having the right words to say or as we wonder how to best pray for others:
What, precisely, should we be praying for with respect to each member of our family — and why? Someone close to us contracts a terminal disease: what should we pray for, and why? For healing? For freedom from pain? For faith and perseverance? For acceptance of what has befallen? And would it make a difference if the person in question were seventy-five years of age, as opposed to twenty-nine? Why, or why not? Are there some things we may humbly request from God and others we should boldly claim? If so, what kinds of things fall into each category?7
These are certainly good questions to ask. At some point, however, we must trust in God’s word treasured in our hearts (Psalm 119:11), our love for the individual whom we are visiting, and the sufficiency of the Holy Spirit as we depend on him for the words to say and to pray. Don’t let your concern about having just the right words keep you from ministering God’s power and grace to others in dependence on his Spirit.
Finally, we can expect that God will use all these things for the joy of his people and the glory of his name. What hope we have as Christians! Even in sickness and suffering, God will use our simple service for the joy and comfort of both the person who is sick and the one who visits. The driving purpose in all of this is God’s glory. God is honored when the things of God are prayed. God is honored when his great character and ways are made known. God is honored when the sick and those caring for them have an unshakable faith and trust that he is working for their good and for his glory. Our aim must be God’s aim — our joy in God, our love of God’s people, and the glory of God’s great name.