DEEPEST THANKS TO MY beloved wife, Karen Bender, who read and commented with insight and kindness; to my children, Jonah and Maia, who reminded me that art is a form of play; to my parents, Stanley and Frances, and to my siblings, David, Perrin, and Sean—my fellow travelers. On the literary side, thanks to my marvelous agent Geri Thoma, to the intrepid Andrea Morrison, and to Dan Smetanka, editor nonpareil. Finally, appreciation to Abe Dickoff for his help with “Friends,” and to the mysterious author of the blog A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Grave, whoever he may be.
A number of the essays in this volume first appeared in magazines and anthologies, though sometimes in different form: “Criminals” first appeared in The Paris Review; “Gourmets” first appeared in Tin House and was subsequently reprinted in Utne Reader; “Unreliable Tour Guide” first appeared in Ploughshares; “Sean” first appeared in The Harvard Review and was subsequently reprinted in Freud’s Blind Spot: 23 Original Essays on Cherished, Estranged, Lost, Hurtful, Hopeful, Complicated Siblings and The Pushcart Prize Anthology XXXVI: Best of the Small Presses; “Haiku for My Father” first appeared in The Los Angeles Times; “The Heron” first appeared as “Ode to My Backyard” in The Oxford American and was subsequently reprinted in 27 Views of Wilmington: The Port City in Prose and Poetry; “Nothing That Wants to Run Away” first appeared in The Harvard Review; and “My Mother, My Writing Student” first appeared in The New York Times. Gratitude to these publications and to the wonderful editors—Lorin Stein, Michelle Wildgen, Elisa Albert, David Ulin, Bill Henderson, and Christina Thompson in particular—who helped me make sense of my experience on the page.