There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh,
but after the Spirit.
Romans 8:1
While Grace helped with dinner, she found it hard to concentrate on what she was doing. All she could think about was how to break the news to her family. It would come as a complete surprise to them.
Later, when everyone sat down at the table to eat, she had second thoughts. Maybe over the dinner table wasn't the right place to tell them. After dinner might be better. Grace looked over at Marlene who gave her a nod telling her to go ahead and tell them. Perhaps if she didn’t say something right now, Marlene would.
Grace cleared her throat. “I have some news to tell everybody.” Everybody fastened their eyes on her waiting for her to continue. There was nothing else for it she closed her eyes for an instant, and said, “I'm having a baby.”
Her mother dropped her fork onto her plate and her mouth fell open in shock. Her father smiled and so did Matthew.
Marlene leaped off her chair and hugged Grace as though this were the first time she’d heard the news. “Grace, that's wonderful news!”
“Denke, Marlene.
Her mother frowned. “And how far are you along?
“Five months.”
“Five months? And you’re just telling us now?”
“I’ve only just found out.”
Her mother’s face broke into a smile. “I’m pleased, of course, I’m pleased. I’m just shocked.”
Her mother, father, and Matthew took turns to hug her.
“We’re going to have a boppli!” her mother said, her hands pressed together.
Matthew put his arm around Marlene, and Grace was pleased that he was being sensitive of Marlene’s feelings, knowing how much she wanted a baby. He knew Marlene might have been a little upset by the news of her sister-in-law being pregnant before she was.
“You don’t look any bigger,” her mother said. “But that's probably because you're so thin anyway.”
“I won’t be like that for much longer.”
Everyone laughed.
The next day, as Grace said she would, she made her way to Adam’s house clutching a packed lunch and a thermos of coffee. The walk over the open fields always reminded her of her childhood. Having no siblings to play with, Adam had always joined her older brothers as they made up games to play after school.
Seeing his regular buggy horse gone from the paddock, she knew that Adam had already left for work. She made her way up his front steps and pushed the door open. She made her way up his front steps, and then pushed his door open. When she walked in, she saw that the place was tidy, but it was covered in a thin layer of dust. Grace got to work right away, starting her cleaning in the kitchen. It was a big home for one person. Grace was certain that Adam’s parents had planned for a much larger family, but Adam had remained their only child. She had been too young at the time to know the details of why they couldn’t have other children, and now it didn’t seem appropriate to ask Adam.
After hours of cleaning downstairs, she started scrubbing the boards of the stairs. She decided that once she finished the stairs, it would be time to go home. She started at the top and by the time she was halfway down, the front door opened.
“You’re still here?”
She looked across to see Adam. “I'm sorry. I thought I’d be gone by the time you got home.”
He placed his hands on his hips and looked around. “The place looks so clean! Denke, Grace, you've done a fine job. I feel horribly guilty about you doing all this. It’s not necessary.”
“It is necessary.”
“Finish up now and I’ll make us a cup of coffee. Do you have time to join me for a cup out on the porch?”
“I do.”
While Adam headed to the kitchen, Grace collected her bucket, scrubbing brush and rags so she could rinse them under the outside tap. Once she’d done that, she left them near the tap to dry and sat on the porch.
Minutes later, Adam returned with two mugs of coffee and handed one to her. “You didn’t bring your own lunch, did you?”
“I did. I wasn’t sure how long I’d be here.”
He shook his head. “Now I feel even worse. I’m taking advantage of you when you should be taking things easy.”
“I’m fine. I have to do something, and besides, it’s nice and peaceful here.”
“Did you tell your parents your news last night?”
“I did, and they’re pleased.”
“Of course. Did you think they wouldn’t be?”
“It’s just that Jeremy was an Englischer and I’d left the community to be with him.”
“And now you're back and you going to get baptized pretty soon, so nothing else matters does it?”
“That's right I guess; nothing else matters.”
“I came home early today because I hoped you would still be here so we could talk.” He looked across at her.
“You did?”
He nodded.
“Do you have something on your mind?”
He looked out across the fields, then he glanced back at her. “I just like your company.”
Grace knew him well enough to know he had something to say to her other than just liking her company. She wondered what it was that he wanted to say.
They stayed and talked on the porch for a while, and then Adam walked Grace home.
Grace’s first Sunday meeting since she’d been home was being held at the Schwartzes’ house. The Schwartzes had moved to the community after Grace had left. Grace was anxious to talk to the bishop and tell him she wanted to be baptized as soon as she could. She wanted her commitment to God made as early as possible. She caught sight of him and walked over. He agreed to move the baptism to four weeks away, but she’d have to have instructions two nights a week, rather than one, leading up to the baptism.
Grace entered the house and sat in the back row. All the furniture had been moved out of the main room and the men had moved the long wooden benches in. As usual, the men were on one side and the women on the other. She looked over at Adam who was a few rows in front of her and to the other side. There were only a few minutes to go before the service started. Grace was jolted from her daydreams when someone shoved her arm. She looked up to see Marlene.
“Shove over. I suppose I'll have to sit next to you since no one else is,” Marlene said.
Grace’s mother always sat in the front row next to her best friend, Nellie.
Grace moved along. “Denke, Marlene. It's nice to have someone to sit next to.” Grace looked over at Adam again and saw Matthew was now sitting next to him.
The deacon stood and said a prayer. Grace said a silent prayer of thanks for her baby. Out of her marriage to Jeremy, something good had come. After hymns were sung, the bishop preached. He spoke on love, and putting others first. Grace felt that God was telling her to be nice to Marlene even though Marlene had wronged her.
When the service was over, Grace made sure she was one of the first out the door as she was overcome by nausea. She walked away from the house to stand by the buggy. Marlene had followed close behind.
“Grace, what's wrong?”
“Go back. It's nothing; I'm just feeling a little queasy.”
“Will I get Sarah, the midwife? She's here today. I saw her.”
Being too sick to answer, Grace could only move her head slightly to say no. Grace went behind the buggy and was sick in the Schwartzes’ garden. After she was sick twice more, she felt better.
When Grace stood up straight she saw that Marlene had moved closer.
“I’ll take you home. You can’t stand out here in the cold like this – you’ll catch your death. I'll have Matthew go home with Mamm and Dat and I'll take you home right now.”
“Denke. I could do with some sleep. I’m so tired now.”
“I’ll go tell them what’s happening.”
Grace watched Marlene hurry back to the house. She looked among the crowd coming out of the house, but couldn’t see Adam anywhere.
Grace was thankful to be lying in her own bed. She heard footsteps in her room and opened her eyes slightly to see Marlene approaching with an extra quilt. Without saying anything, Marlene covered her with it and then crept out.
She hoped Marlene would tell Adam what really happened with the buggy. Marlene was being friendly and caring toward her now, so perhaps she would. Otherwise Grace would have to keep cleaning Adam’s house until the debt was paid.
Grace woke feeling much better. She heard a commotion downstairs and wondered what it was. She pulled on her prayer kapp, fixed her apron over her dress and made her way down the stairs. When she walked into the kitchen she saw Marlene rearranging the saucepan cupboard.
She looked up when Grace entered the room. “Wake you, did I?”
Grace yawned, and stretched her hands above her head. “Nee. I had a good sleep. Denke for bringing me home. Mamm and Dat not home yet?” Grace sat down at the table.
“Nee, they’re out visiting.”
“And Matthew?”
“He’s over at Adam's house helping him with something.”
“What's he helping him with?”
Marlene winced. “He’s helping him with the buggy.”
Grace knew that Marlene was feeling bad about things so Grace didn’t say any more about it. Marlene would admit to it when she was ready.
Marlene sat down at the table next to Grace. “Denke for keeping our secret about me crashing the buggy.”
Grace nodded. And had second thoughts about Marlene ever confessing her wrongdoing. “It put me in a really bad light with Adam.”
“Jah. I know, but if I tell everybody I did it, then my husband will be upset with me. No one will be upset with you.”
“But you're already married, and I thought Adam and I might've had a second chance. We liked each other once. That is, until you told him I was sneaking off to see an Englischer.” Marlene had forced her to say more than she’d wanted.
Marlene remained silent and stared back at her with large green eyes.
Grace kept talking, hoping to get through to her. “This could be my last chance with Adam. Can you see how I feel, at all?”
“Don't put it like that, Grace. You’re being so dramatic. I'll heat up some soup for you.”
Grace knew it was no use; Marlene had no intention of ever telling anybody the truth of what had happened. And now Grace would remain a fool in Adam's eyes.