If ye know these things,
happy are ye if ye do them.
John 13:17
The next morning, Grace left Marlene and her mother cooking jam while she wrapped herself in a blanket and set off for Adam’s house to do more chores. All she wanted to do was go back to sleep.
When she reached Adam’s front door, she was half hoping that he would have forgotten to keep the door unlocked so she would have an excuse to go home again. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case – he’d left the door open. She walked through the doorway and saw that he’d left the fire going for her. From the way the fire was raging, Grace could tell that Adam wasn’t long gone.
She stood by the fire to warm herself while she wondered where to start. She decided to finish the stairs and then clean the windows before heading upstairs. On her last visit there when Adam had walked her home, she’d made him agree that she could keep working there until the debt was paid. He’d agreed on the condition that she only do two hours at a time.
When Grace was ready to go home, she swung the blanket back over her shoulders and stepped out onto the porch. She was a little disappointed that she wouldn’t see him that day. On her way home, she remembered that she had to go to the bishop’s house that night for the Bible study. Soon her new life of being a baptized member of her Amish community would begin.
Matthew drove her and stayed with her while she took the Bible study. There were four others doing the three-hour session.
It was ten o’clock before it ended.
As soon as they climbed into the buggy to go home, Matthew said, “Do you know how much it's going to cost to fix Adam’s buggy?”
“Why are you only talking about this now? If you know, you should’ve told me before.”
Matthew clicked his horse forward. “I didn’t know whether I should tell you or not. I’ve been thinking it over this whole time while I was waiting for you.”
“Well, how much?”
“Nine hundred dollars.”
“That is a lot.”
“I can’t imagine how bad it must have been for Adam to see you racing up the street in the buggy. What got into you?”
Grace shrugged her shoulders. “I don't know. Might be the hormones. I must've gone a little crazy.”
“More than a little,” Matthew added. “Anyway, I'm glad you and Marlene are finally starting to get along.”
“We are getting along better. She’s been very kind to me.”
“She was a little upset to hear that you’re having a boppli. I mean, she was happy for you, but a little disappointed for us that we don’t have one yet.”
“Jah. I can imagine how she’d feel. It must be upsetting for her.”
“I told her not to worry about it. If it happens it happens, and if it doesn't it doesn't. We’ve got more than enough nieces and nephews running around to look after.”
“She needs to know that you don't blame her, that you'll love her just as much if she's never able to give you a child.” What she had just said made him think. Grace knew that by the look on her brother’s face. In true male fashion, he swallowed hard and remained silent.
Grace hadn’t seen Adam for over a week when her mother said, “Now, Grace, I've made you a nice meal to take over to Adam.”
“I thought you were cooking far too much,” Grace said. “It's a bit late, isn’t it? He might already have something arranged for dinner.”
Her father put his paper on his lap, and said to his wife, “It's too cold for her to go out now. We’re expecting more snow.”
“Go and hitch the buggy for her, then.”
“You weren’t going to have her walk, were you?”
Her mother put her hands on her hips. “I’ve made this now and I’m not going to have it go to waste.”
“You're really going to send her out in this weather?” he asked.
“I haven't cooked all day for nothing. Either she's walking over there in the snow, or she's going in the buggy. You choose which one.”
Her father stood up and murmured, “I better go and hitch the buggy.”
Marlene and Matthew were up in their room because Marlene was upset about something.
“I'll just go upstairs and put some warmer clothes on,” Grace said to her mother once her father had walked outside. Once in her room, Grace pulled a second pair of black stockings on. Then she changed into her warmest dress, and placed her over-bonnet over the top of her prayer kapp. When she came downstairs, her mother was waiting by the front door.
“Now tell him you cooked it,” she said holding out a basket that contained a large saucepan.
There was no use arguing with her mother when she was in one of those moods. Even her father had backed down about Grace going out in such bad weather.
After wrapping herself in a heavy cape, Grace took the basket from her mother’s hands and waited until she saw her father driving the horse and buggy out of the barn. She felt sorry for the horse leaving his warm stable, and she also felt sorry for herself. Snow was falling lightly.
When Grace was halfway to Adam's house, the snow began to fall more heavily. Looking back in the direction of her house, and then looking toward Adam’s, she decided to keep going.
She pulled her horse up under the cover of Adam's barn. When she stepped down, she saw Adam at his door. He placed something over his head and ran to her.
As soon as he was under cover with her, he lowered the blanket. “What are you doing, Grace?”
“My mudder had a crazy idea that you needed some food,” she said.
“Well, that's not so crazy. Where is it – did you bring it with you?”
“In the back.”
He pulled the food out of the back and covered them both with the blanket. “I hope you’re going to join me.”
“I will. I’m not going home right now in this,” she answered.
“You cover us with the blanket. I’ll hold the food, and we’ll make a run for it.”
Once she had the blanket over the both of them, they made a dash for the house.
He shut the door behind them with a backward flick of his foot. “Just drop the blanket on the floor there, then stand in front of the fire!” he ordered.
She walked over to the fire and warmed her back until she had thawed enough to take her cape off. She threw her cape over a chair and then walked into the kitchen to join Adam. “It’s nice and warm in your haus.”
“I’m just heating up the food.”
“We shouldn’t be together like this, Adam.”
He took his eyes off the stove and studied her face. “What do you mean?”
“Alone, just the two of us.”
“I think the snow has other ideas about that. Besides, Aunt Sarah is upstairs asleep. She’s just been awake for two days straight delivering one of the Wilsons’ babies. So, we’re not entirely alone.”
Grace smiled and nodded, wondering whether Adam thought she was silly to be worried about what people might think.
He took the lid off the pot and smelled the chicken casserole. “Mmm, this smells delicious. You are eating, aren’t you?”
Grace pulled a chair out and sat down at the kitchen table. “I am.”
“It shouldn’t take too long to heat up. Did you make it?”
“I didn't, but I’m supposed to tell you that I did.”
Adam laughed. “Did your mudder make it?”
“Jah, she did.” Grace had already lied about the buggy – she didn't want to add to her list of deceptions by lying to him about the food as well. “Does Sarah often stay here?”
“She does when she’s been working nearby and she’s too tired to make the trip home.”
“We should save some food for her.”
“There’s enough for two families – I’m sure we can manage to leave her some.”
When they heard the contents of the saucepan bubbling on the stove, Adam rose from his chair. “Sounds like it’s ready. I hope I haven’t burnt it.” Adam dished out two bowls of food and sat down again.
They both said silent prayers of thanks for the food.
“Have you grown used to the idea that you’re going to be a mudder?”
Grace shook her head. “Not yet.”
“Can I ask you what your husband was like? I’ll understand if you don’t want to talk about it.”
Grace finished chewing her mouthful. “You can ask me anything. It started out okay; I mean, I thought I was in love with him. I don’t know if I was or if I liked all the attention he was giving me. I was upset over what had happened between you and me.”
“And he wasted no time in moving in and taking advantage of you.”
Grace raised her eyebrows.
“I’m sorry. It’s not my business to say such things.”
“It wasn’t a good marriage. We argued all the time, and he tried to control me. He wouldn’t allow me to have friends unless they were his friends. Nothing I did was ever good enough. I can’t tell you more than that. It would make me too upset.”
“I didn’t know it was like that. I had no idea.”
“He treated me badly and the worst thing was, he acted differently to everyone else. Jeremy was so nice to other people that no one would’ve known he treated me so badly. He even tried to strangle me, and only stopped himself at the last minute.” Grace’s fingertips touched her neck. “I had bruises on my neck for weeks.”
“Grace, why did you stay with him for so long?”
“He wasn’t always mean. Sometimes he’d be really nice. After he was horrible to me he’d apologize and say he’d never do it again. I thought sometimes that he was improving. Anyway, when I’d had enough, I told him I was leaving and that’s when he flew into a rage and pressed his hands around my neck until I fell to the floor.”
Adam stared at her in disbelief. He shook his head. “That’s terrible. I wish you’d come to me and told me. You’ve had a hard time of it.”
Grace nodded. “I didn’t want to give up on my marriage. I had it in my mind that marriage was forever. Divorce or even separation was never an option.”
“What had you planned to do, then? After you told him you’d had enough? Come back to the community, and never marry? Because you wouldn’t have been able to marry if you were divorced.”
“I hadn’t thought that far ahead. All I knew was that I couldn’t be with him any more.”
“I can understand that, and with him not being a believer, he’d have no reason to keep working on the marriage.”
Grace nodded. “That’s true. And what about you, have you come close to marriage?”
He shook his head. “I’ve not come close to it. I had thought at one point that you and I might be heading toward it, but then things happened.”
“There are lots of young women in the community. Aren’t any of them suitable?”
Adam laughed. “I don’t think so.”
Grace smiled at him and took another sip of her hot chocolate. “So not one woman has sparked your interest?” She had to find out. Maybe he would say that she’d been the only woman he’d ever been interested in.
“There was one woman after you, if you’re forcing me to be truthful. The year after you left the community; we got along really well and then she suddenly left just like you did.”
“Is she someone I know?”
“Not likely. Her name’s Ida Schwartz. I've learned not to plan too far ahead because sometimes unexpected things happen, and things don’t work out. It leads to disappointment.”
“You mean when things don't turn out how you thought they would?”
“That's right.”
“I guess we never know what’s going to happen, do we? We had the last meeting at the Schwartzes’ house. Mr. and Mrs. Schwartz are Ida’s parents?”
“That’s right.”
Grace nodded and wondered why Marlene hadn’t once made mention of Ida.
Sarah woke up some time after Grace and Adam had eaten and was pleased to have Mrs. Byler’s food to eat. Then the three of them sat and drank hot chocolate in the living room. The snow was still falling heavily, so Grace stayed the night in the room adjacent to the one Sarah was in.
Three weeks later, after a Sunday meeting, Grace was one of three people who were baptized.
“Let's get you home now,” her mother said putting her arm around her shoulders. “It's too cold to be out in this.”
When they started walking to the buggy, Grace stopped and stared at Adam who was some distance away. “Who is that old man Adam’s talking with?”
“That’s Noah Schwartz, Ida’s vadder. They're probably speaking about Ida coming back to the community.”
“Ida’s coming back to the community?”
“Jah, did you know her? Or had you left by the time they moved here?”
“Wasn’t Adam close to Ida before she left the community? That’s what I’ve heard.”
“That’s right. I’m sorry, Grace. I completely forgot that he and Ida were close.”
She knew by her mother’s tone that she thought there was no hope of her and Adam ever being married if Ida came back to the community.
Grace said to her mother, “Okay, we’d better get out of this cold.” They hurried toward the buggy. Grace would just concentrate on her baby and forget about Adam as much as she possibly could.