6
January 24, 2004
12:17 a.m.
TBI Headquarters
Garrett walked out of the glass-encased entrance of the bureau, trying to shake off the heavy wave of fatigue that had settled over him. The day had worn him out both physically and emotionally. And as if dealing with a serial killer wasn’t enough, Jordan’s appearance back in his life had managed to leave him unsettled and questioning every decision he’d made over the past few years.
The truth was that she wasn’t a part of his life. Not anymore. And no lingering feeling he still held was going to change that.
The rain had started again. He popped open his umbrella, then hurried toward his car, avoiding the puddles that had settled into the crevices of the parking lot.
One of the overhead parking lot lights flickered. He looked back at the looming building, then stopped. She was standing just outside the entrance with no umbrella, as if she was trying to decide what to do. He hesitated, then headed back across the lot.
“Jordan . . .”
He took a few seconds to take in her familiar features. Her dark hair was pulled back neatly, but she hadn’t been able to quite contain the curls, because of the humidity. Skin the color of caramel, dark-brown eyes, and that smile that had captured him from the first day he’d met her back at the academy. She still looked just as beautiful as she had then.
“You okay?” he asked.
“Yeah, I just forgot my umbrella. I was trying to decide if I should make a run for it, but I really don’t want to get soaked.”
“I’ve got mine,” he said.
He stepped up next to her, close enough that his umbrella was covering both of them.
“I thought you’d already left,” she said as they headed to her rental car.
He tried to ignore the fact that her hair smelled like flowers and still made his head spin. How did she do that? “What about you? Are you headed to your parents’ house?”
“Yeah. Though I’m sure they’re already asleep. They have to get up pretty early.”
Halfway across the lot, the heavens opened. He slipped his arm around her waist in an attempt to keep her under the umbrella’s protection as they picked up their pace toward her car.
“This is it.” She shivered and pushed back one of the stubborn curls that refused to stay confined.
He’d always loved her hair despite her protests of how challenging it was to manage. And just like when they were dating, he fought the urge to pull all the curls out of their confinement and let them go free.
“You’re shaking.” Garrett looked down at his keys. “Listen. There’s a restaurant down the street that stays open all night. Why don’t you let me buy you something to eat? I don’t know about you, but even though I’m tired, I’m not sure I can sleep yet. We can warm up, and it would be nice to talk about something other than work for a little while.”
He made the suggestion before taking the time to think about the offer. But the truth was, he’d like to catch up with her away from the shadow of the case. It would be nothing more than two colleagues getting together over something to eat. Although the chance to get reacquainted with the FBI agent wasn’t such a bad thing either.
She hesitated a moment, then nodded. “I’d like that. I’m not sure I could sleep right now either.”
“Great. Do you want to take your car, or do you want me to drive?”
“I’ll follow you, so I can drive from there to my parents’.”
By the time they got to the restaurant, the rain had almost stopped. A waitress led them to a booth near a crackling fire, and Garrett tried to ignore the familiar sense of being out with her.
She rubbed her hands together. “I didn’t think I was hungry, but looking at this menu, I’m suddenly starved.”
A couple minutes later, the waitress made her way toward their table, ready to take their orders.
“I’ll take a Caesar salad and peanut butter milkshake,” Jordan said.
Garrett hid his amusement as he ordered a club sandwich, sweet potato fries, and coffee. He’d almost forgotten her love for sweets, especially milkshakes and pies. But he hadn’t forgotten how much he’d always enjoyed spending time with her. He sat back in his chair, listening to B.B. King playing in the background and wondering how he’d ended up here, tonight, with the only woman who’d ever truly stolen his heart and never returned it.
“I’ve decided I’m impressed with what you do,” she said, taking a sip of the lemon water the waiter had just left.
“Why is that?”
“Working these murder cases. I told you before that I’m used to reviewing crimes, analyzing behavior, and coming up with strategies from behind a desk, but going through that crime scene and talking to our victim’s parents . . . I don’t know. These cases get under your skin and leave you wondering what’s happened to our world. Like society’s falling apart and nothing makes sense anymore.”
“It’s because we’re supposed to be the good guys. And when the bad guys keep winning, we question if we’re really making a difference. At least that’s what I tend to do.”
“That and spend the day outside in this freezing weather.” Jordan nodded toward the fireplace. “I think I’ve finally almost warmed up.”
She pulled off her gray scarf, then peeled off her jacket, revealing the necklace he’d bought her for her birthday when they were still together. It had been one of those impulse buys he wasn’t sure at the time if he’d regret or not. Their relationship had still been on uneven ground as they both focused on getting through the academy. But one thing he had been sure of: Jordan was someone he could imagine spending the rest of his life with.
“You’re still wearing the necklace I gave you,” he said.
She clasped the small silver medallion and slid it across the chain. “I’d forgotten. It’s not weird that I still wear it, is it?”
“No. Not at all.”
“Because I loved it when you gave it to me, and I still love it. I just . . . I don’t know. I never stopped wearing it.”
A few seconds of awkward silence went by as the past seemed to hang between them.
“I’m glad you’re wearing it,” he said. “It was a gift, and just because we’re not a couple anymore doesn’t mean you should get rid of it. I bought it for you because I knew you’d like it. Not because of any expectations.”
And he knew there wasn’t some deep psychological reason behind her wearing the necklace. She simply liked it. Nothing more.
The waitress put their orders in front of them, made sure they had everything they needed, then scurried off to another table.
Jordan dipped her straw in her shake, then took a sip. “This was a good idea. I needed to unwind, and I really wasn’t in the mood to go sit in my parents’ house alone. And . . .” She smiled up at him. “The company’s not so bad either. It really has been too long.”
“Yes, it has. Tell me more about your family.” He wasn’t ready to make the conversation too personal. Not yet anyway.
“My parents are good. Like I said in the car, they’re still running the store, and managing to keep the doors open.”
“And your dad’s health?”
“Mom makes him watch his cholesterol and his diet.” She let out a soft laugh. “They’ve always been quite a pair.”
She continued talking while he ate. He tried not to notice how the light from the fire brought out the highlights in her dark hair and made her eyes sparkle. She told him about how she and her sister had surprised their parents with a cruise for their fortieth anniversary. Jordan laughed as she explained in detail how her mom had been terrified to get on the boat, almost to the point of refusing to go. He smiled when she told him that in the end she’d loved it so much she’d actually booked another cruise before they even got off the ship.
He’d always loved her family. They were down-to-earth, hard workers who had always treated him like one of their own. His parents, in contrast, had been handed their success on a silver platter and in turn carried certain expectations for Garrett. No matter how many times he’d told them he didn’t care about money and prestige, they’d always made it clear that they expected him to marry someone on his own social and economic level. And while it might not have been stated out loud, they also had implied, someone of his own ethnicity. Not a woman with African American and Brazilian roots.
Those expectations had deepened the wedge between him and his parents, and pushed him closer to Jordan. Because none of those things had ever been important to him. They had at times, though, bothered Jordan, and he’d known that her uneasiness wasn’t ever going to completely go away. Especially if they ended up getting married.
But of course none of that mattered. Not anymore.
“What about your sister?” he asked, as he struggled to rein in his thoughts. “How has she been?”
“It’s hard to believe, but she’s been married almost a year now.”
“I didn’t know you were back in Nashville for a wedding.”
“I wasn’t, actually.” She took another sip of her shake. “They got married in the Caribbean, and I did manage to get away for the wedding. Alex is a great guy and he makes her happy.”
“Clara always had good taste in men.”
“Because she liked you?” Jordan teased.
He laughed. “Why else?” Suddenly it felt as if it hadn’t been that long since he’d seen her. The awkwardness he felt between them when she’d first arrived slipped away, and he began to realize just how much he’d missed her.
“What about your family?” she asked, breaking into his thoughts. “How are they?”
He grabbed a fry and dabbed it in a pool of ketchup. Family had always been a sore spot. “My father’s still working seventy-plus hours a week at the firm, while my mother runs from one charity board to the next.”
“And your brother?” She stabbed a slice of cucumber with her fork. “How many kids does he have now?”
“He and his wife live in Colorado now with their three boys, which makes me a proud uncle. I try to see them at least once a year.”
“How often do you see your parents?”
“Not that often, to be honest, even though they still live in Memphis. My mom will be here in a couple weeks for a charity event if you’re still around. I’m sure she’d love to see you.”
“Right. Your mother was terrified you’d ask me to marry you, and you know it.”
“She wasn’t that bad.”
Jordan tilted her head and widened her eyes.
“Okay, she was—is—that bad.”
“Though she approved of—what was her name—Sabrina?”
“That was only because Sabrina had the right last name and a trust fund. But I decided a long time ago that who I marry will never depend on what my mother thinks. Of course, that doesn’t stop her from reminding me every time I see her of how disappointed she is that I didn’t marry Sabrina.”
“So no girlfriend in your life?” Jordan asked.
“Not presently. It’s hard to find time to date, and if it wasn’t for my mom’s continual attempts to set me up, I’d probably never go out at all. But I’ve decided that I’m happy being single—for now.” He signaled to the waitress for more coffee. “What about you?”
She held up her left hand. “No ring yet, though I have been seeing this guy.”
“Oh?” He hid the disappointment in his voice. Not that it should matter. He didn’t exactly expect her to stay single after all these years.
“Well, we’ve gone out more than once. That makes it a record for me, but it’s nothing serious. And I suppose for the same reasons. I’m too busy to take the time to really work at a relationship. And I have this feeling that my job intimidates most men.”
“Maybe that’s not a bad thing. Any man who can’t handle who you are doesn’t deserve you.” The waitress replenished his coffee cup and Garrett took a sip. “What about your partner?”
“Ryley? I trust him with my life, but that’s it.”
“Just curious. You must spend a lot of time together.”
“He’s got a girlfriend, actually. Her name’s Jill, and she teaches kindergarten.”
Garrett took another sip of his coffee, then leaned back, surprised at how good it felt to be with her. How comfortable. But it had always been that way. The connection between them that he couldn’t explain. And even after all these years, it was still there. He just wasn’t sure he wanted it to be. Because it wasn’t as if anything could come of them spending time together.
“You look like you need to get some sleep,” he said.
“I’ve still got a bunch of files I want to read through before tomorrow.” She shrugged. “Besides, I’ve always thought sleep was overrated. In college I stayed up all night and still managed to go to class.”
“All I know is that one day you won’t be as young as you think you are and those all-nighters aren’t going to come quite so easy.”
He caught her smile, wishing he didn’t have the urge to pull her into his arms and kiss her. He reached for his coffee. It had to be the atmosphere. The music, the crackling fire, and the low-lit chandeliers hanging above them. Maybe this had been a bad idea after all.
“You were good in there with Julia’s mom,” he said, shifting the conversation. “You were able to relate to her on a personal level, which was exactly what she needed. She’ll always remember the moment she heard her daughter was dead, but she’s also going to remember how the news was delivered and how you truly cared about her.”
“I don’t know.” Jordan set her fork down and shook her head. “I kept imagining what it would be like if Julia were my sister and my world had just shattered, but the truth is, I honestly can’t imagine what she’s facing right now.”
“I agree. I can’t either.”
“Thanks for this.” Jordan pushed back her salad bowl. “Going out was a good idea. Not only was it one of the best shakes I’ve had for a long time, the company hasn’t been too bad either.”
“Thanks . . . I think.” He chuckled. “Unless you’re comparing me to your shake.”
“Seriously. I’ve enjoyed tonight. It’s not often that I take the time to just decompress. Life’s gotten too hectic. But I’ve missed seeing you. The academy seems like a lifetime ago.”
“I’ve enjoyed seeing you too,” he said. “A lot. I just wish you were here for other reasons.”
“We’re going to find this guy, Garrett.”
“And if that doesn’t happen before another girl vanishes?”
Jordan set her empty glass on the table and shook her head. “We’re going to find him first. We have to.”