Transforming a Negative Sense of Self
The Law of Divine Compensation represents the natural working of the universe, but it’s up to each of us to rid our minds of the thoughts that block it. Unloving thoughts deactivate the Law. They sabotage the dynamic by which the universe is programmed to support us.
When we think or say something negative, even if we believe we don’t really mean it, the thought carries creative energy. Every thought is a cause that creates an effect. An undisciplined mind, easily tempted into faithless and unloving thoughts, is a huge deterrent to success.
Negative thoughts that deactivate the Law of Divine Compensation tend to fall into three major categories: (1) negative sense of self, (2) anger, and (3) guilt. We’ll look at these categories in this and the next two chapters, starting with a negative sense of self.
Spiritual growth involves giving up the stories of your past so the universe can write a new one.
Releasing negative self-concepts is important not simply because they hurt you; it’s important because they’re not true. The spiritual journey is a path of surrendering our fear-based thoughts and allowing them to be replaced by God’s. The reason to embrace a positive self-image is that it describes you as God thinks of you.
Contrary to the thoughts of God, however, are the numerous negative self-images we allow to freely wander through our minds:
“I’m not good enough.”
“I’m a loser.”
“I don’t have what it takes.”
“My father [or mother, or teacher, etc.] was right about me. I will never amount to anything.”
“I’m dumb.”
“I’m a failure.”
“I don’t have enough talent.”
“I’m too old.”
“Nobody wants me.”
“Nobody appreciates me.”
“I’m a has-been.”
“All the good jobs have been sent overseas.”
“There’s no job out there for me.”
“It does no good to even try at this point.”
“I’ve been screwed over.”
“The system is f***ed.”
Such painful thoughts arise from over-identification with the material plane. Identifying with your material self rather than with your spiritual self will always leave you vulnerable to self-hating projections, because the mortal self is not who you are. The mortal plane is, at best, an ever-changing parade of individual perceptions that lack a consistent theme. Sometimes you’ll deem yourself worthy of self-regard, and sometimes you won’t—depending on what’s in your bank account, other people’s opinions of you, and so forth. Hardly a great basis for career success . . .
On the mortal plane, none of us are perfect all the time. But on the spiritual plane, all of us are perfect all the time. Who we really are—perfect creations of God, unchangeable and unlimited, none of us more or less brilliant than anyone else—is the most positive self-concept possible. To self-identify according to your spiritual rather than material reality is enlightenment. From this perspective, you see that you are the light. No thought or condition of darkness—that is, lovelessness in your own mind or in anyone else’s—has any bearing whatsoever on the truth of who you are or what the universe has planned for you. Your past, your mistakes, other people’s opinions about you, even your failures do not in any way limit who you are or what is possible for you now.
ONE OF THE most common negative self-concepts we carry—one that underlies many other wrong-minded sentiments—is that we’re simply not good enough; that something about us is defective.
It can be tempting to believe that “some of us have it, and some of us don’t.” Some of us are talented, while others of us aren’t. Some of us are brilliant, while others of us aren’t. Some of us are born to succeed, while others of us aren’t. And we often see ourselves in the latter half of those comparisons.
As long as we think we’re separate from the rest of the universe, we’re bound to compare ourselves to others.
A Course in Miracles teaches us that all of us are special and none of us are special. All of us carry the mark of God, yet we carry that mark as one. No one has any more or less capacity than anyone else to be used as a conduit for the genius that pours forth constantly from the Mind of God. This genius pours into us as one, but is accepted by us separately. God’s greatness is a gift that is offered to all of us, but it’s our choice whether or not to receive it.
We lack faith in what exists within us because we lack faith in Who exists within us.
Each of us has a unique part to play in the healing of the world. Each of us is assigned by God a function that only we can fill. At the level of our divine function, none of us are in competition with each other, for the universe has an infinite number of pieces of pie. My piece doesn’t take away from yours, and yours doesn’t take away from mine. There is space for everyone’s gifts to flower. There is more than enough room for all of us.
When futurist and universally acknowledged genius Buckminster Fuller was asked his definition of a genius, his response was, “Someone who had the right mother.” I assume he meant someone who had the most positive childhood programming, someone who was told when young that he or she was brilliant and would succeed. If told as children that we’re bound to succeed, then we tend to. If told as children that we’re bound to fail, then we tend to do that instead.
But even if your mother or father didn’t tell you that you were wonderful when you were a child, your divine Father/Mother tells you that now. Spiritual understanding is a corrective to any false programming you might have received as a child. Rather than endlessly analyzing a tape from childhood, you can erase it by recording a new one. A story, no matter how factually true, is still just a story. Spiritual growth involves giving up the stories of your past so the universe can write a new one. You are not denying your childhood; you are simply transcending any of its negative aspects.
You are a child of God, carrying the eternal mark of your perfect Source. You are naturally entitled to miracles because love is what you are. This is not an arrogant appraisal of the ego, but rather a humble acceptance of God’s truth. You just happen to have within you the eternal power of the universe.
Because you are a child of God, made of love, only love has power over you. Your mortal self can be damaged, but your spiritual self cannot. You do not have to identify with the brokenness of the world, for the effects of brokenness are temporary. Every loving thing that ever happened to you was real, and everything else was an illusion. Such illusions have no effect on your future unless you carry them with you into the present. It is entirely up to each of us whether we consider ourselves damaged goods.
Of course things might have gone roughly in the past, but the past is over and cannot touch you unless you hold on to it. Right now, in this moment, the universe is responding not to your past but to the truth of who you are, always were, and always will be.
We’ve all got the “right stuff” because all of us are hosts to God; His voice, and not the fear-based ego’s, is the voice we can listen to and learn to follow. Each of us is meant to channel the spiritual realities of talent, creativity, and intelligence. This is nothing to take personal credit for, but nothing to apologize for either. As a child of God, you just happen to be the recipient of endless power and possibility. Whether or not you’ve always known this, or practiced it, there lies within you in this very moment the latent ability to create and achieve beyond your wildest dreams.
And this never changes. No mortal condition diminishes the power of God. It doesn’t matter what your résumé is, or how many degrees you have. It doesn’t matter what mistakes you’ve made, or how the economy is doing. It matters only where you place your consciousness now. Know who you are and Who lives within you, and moving mountains will seem small compared to what you can do.
THIS RECOGNITION OF God’s infinite power, and infinite love for us, is important in relation to another negative self-concept that weighs heavily on many people: the thought that we’re too old to manifest work or money.
Once again, we are challenged to think as God thinks. The body ages, but the spirit does not. Never at any point does the universe give up on us, consider us not good enough, or consider us has-beens. Only if you think of yourself in such ways can you block the flow of miracles to your door.
Women particularly are tempted to believe that our value declines with our physical beauty. Yet sometimes it’s when our outer beauty begins to fade that our inner beauty shines most brightly. In the words of Ralph Waldo Emerson, “As we grow old, the beauty steals inward.” To the universe, we are never invisible.
It’s true that in youth we have some wonderful things that we lose when we’re older, but it’s also true that when we’re older we have some wonderful things we didn’t have when we were young. The gifts of age aren’t quite as tangible as the gifts of youth, but they are no less real. As we claim them—fully appreciating the nonmaterial gift of wisdom that comes from accumulated life experience—the universe will follow our lead, reflecting back to us the value we first accorded to ourselves. As Emily Dickinson wrote, “We turn not older with years, but newer every day.”
Yes, if you’re older, there might be people who won’t want to hire you because of it; but the miraculous universe doesn’t care about that. The universe is flexible, and if we’re open to infinite possibilities, then possibilities will appear. According to A Course in Miracles, “Miracles are natural. When they do not occur, something has gone wrong.” There are examples in the world today of hot and happening octogenarians! If Betty White can be the hottest mama in Cleveland, then surely anything is possible. I don’t think anyone believes that she can’t find work.
So how do we quit the negative self-talk, the chronic repetition of thoughts and feelings that cause us to emotionally spiral downward? It’s not always as easy as simply saying, “I won’t think that way anymore.” Entrenched thought forms are like a buildup of plaque on our consciousness. But we’re not asked to be our own transformers; we’re asked only to surrender the thoughts and feelings that need transforming.
According to A Course in Miracles, “Through prayer love is received, and through miracles love is expressed.”
Dear God,
I feel myself falling into the hole of self-pity, self-obsession, and negativity.
I know I shouldn’t think this way, but I’m afraid and I cannot stop.
Please replace my thoughts with Yours, dear God.
I am willing to see myself and all things differently.
Please send me the miracle of new eyes and ears, that I might know my greater good.
Amen.