Another major category of thoughts that deactivate the Law of Divine Compensation is guilt.
Sometimes we have a pretty good success rate at forgiving others, but we aren’t so good at forgiving ourselves. We think, “Okay, I can believe that the universe was programmed to give me what would make me happy, but then I blew it. And I can’t forgive myself.”
Many of us have some unpleasant and even painful memories tied up with money, and a lot of them fall under the category of “my own damn fault.”
Given the significant impact that financial errors can have on our lives and the lives of our families, the feelings of guilt can be terrible. If one of our children can’t have dance classes this year because of a mistake we made, or can’t go to college or have the wedding of her dreams—and sometimes the consequences are far worse—then the feelings of failure can be intense.
We may have made mistakes in our past, but we’re not bound by those mistakes in the present—as long as we’re willing to think now as we did not think then, act now as we did not act then, clean up in the present what needs to be cleaned up from the past, and be now who we were not then.
The ego is that which both sets you up to do the wrong thing and then punishes you viciously for having done so. It lures you into doing something stupid, and then would have you believe that you’re the dumbest, most irresponsible human being alive for having made such a mistake! Now, it argues, everything is terrible and will only be getting worse!
Yet the ego lies. It lied when it convinced you to do something stupid; and it also lies when it tells you that you’re a terrible person for whom there is no hope, now that you’ve done such a terrible thing.
Guilt is savage, and it never lets you off the hook. It leads to obsession, self-hatred, self-punishment, and a shattered sense of self.
Yet we must always remember: guilt is untrue, for you were created as an innocent child of God, and His reality is changeless. That is why it is built into the nature of the universe that you can compensate for past errors and begin again.
SOMETIMES WHEN WE’VE made a mistake, well-meaning people will try to console us by saying things like, “It happened for a reason,” when we know in our hearts, “Yes, it happened for a reason, and I’ll tell you what it was: I made a dumb mistake!” Sometimes we need to face the harsh reality that we did make a mistake, and look at the fact with open eyes.
This quote from the I Ching speaks powerfully to our need for brutal self-honesty when we have made mistakes: “It is only when we have the courage to face things exactly as they are, without any self-deception or illusion, that a light will develop out of events, by which the path to success may be recognized.”
We might need to feel the shame of knowing that we did something stupid, and burn through the pain of that, but we’ll come out on the other side of it a more humble person, with greater integrity and groundedness. A failure remains a failure only if we refuse to learn from it. Any situation that teaches us greater humility, sobriety, wisdom about self and others, responsibility, forgiveness, depth of reflection, and better decision-making—teaching us what’s truly important—is not an ultimate failure. Sometimes what we deem a failure at the time it happens actually serves to foster a change within us that creates an even greater success down the road.
Great people are not those who have never fallen down. Great people are those who, when they do fall down, dig deep within themselves and find the strength to get back up. Sometimes that dark night of the soul teaches us some very important things about ourselves—about who we’ve been, and who we choose to be now; about where we got it right, and where we got it wrong. Spiritually healthy people are those who take responsibility for their mistakes, atone for their errors, do what they can to make things right, and allow forgiveness and mercy to wash them clean.
If you’re like the rest of us, of course you’ve screwed up royally at one point or another. But it doesn’t serve you, or anyone else, for you to beat up on yourself continually. Have appropriate remorse? Yes. Grow from your mistakes and make things right as best you can? Yes. But stay stuck in the mire of self-hatred? Absolutely not. We may have made mistakes in our past, but we’re not bound by those mistakes in the present—as long as we’re willing to think now as we did not think then, act now as we did not act then, clean up in the present what needs to be cleaned up from the past, and be now who we were not then.
WHEN WE TAKE full responsibility for the places where we know in our hearts we underperformed in the past, or acted without integrity, or failed to respect opportunities and abundance that once were ours, we experience the miracle of the Atonement. Atonement is a mental process through which we correct our perceptions, thus changing the trajectory of probabilities that unfold as a result.
Atonement is like a spiritual reset button. It is a gift from God, providing us the opportunity to clear the karma of past mistakes by owning them, taking responsibility for them, admitting them, making amends for them, and doing whatever is possible to change the patterns of behavior that created the situation that now causes us shame.
We recognize past errors and pray, “I am willing to be different than I was before. Please show me how.” The universe then corrects all limitations caused by our wrong-minded thinking. Guilt dissolves from our mind as thoughts of mercy and love replace it.
Buddha described the Law of Karma, or Cause and Effect: for every action there is a reaction. Therefore, if we acted without wisdom, suffering is to be expected. Jesus, some five hundred years later, revealed the alchemy of God’s mercy, which posits that in a moment of grace, all karma is burned, and all debts are paid and forgiven. From Catholics at confession, to Jews on the Day of Atonement, to people taking their moral inventory at a twelve-step meeting, the notion of the Atonement is part of the wisdom teachings of all the major religious and spiritual systems of the world.
Atonement can bring a profound level of humbling—as we sit before piles of credit card bills and face the uncomfortable realization that we should have been more responsible, or we think back on what got us fired and know in our hearts that we ourselves were the problem. Perhaps we played into the drunken maelstrom of financial headiness that characterized the last few decades in our society. Perhaps we bought too much, saved too little, or were otherwise cavalier about money or frivolous in how we dealt with it. Atonement gives us the power to forgive ourselves; it gives us back our self-respect. We’ve done whatever we could to right our wrongs, and the tenderness of a merciful universe opens up for us in ways we might never have imagined.
There is no mistake you’ve ever made that can’t be divinely corrected, as long as you acknowledge whatever mistaken thoughts led to the error and surrender them to God.
In A Course in Miracles, we’re told to go back to the moment when the error occurred, admit that we didn’t allow God’s spirit to guide our decision at the time, but remember that we can choose again now. And that is what we do: we place that moment in the hands of God and know that we need not feel guilty, because “He will undo all consequences of our wrong decision if we will let Him.”
Miracles transcend the laws of time and space. In the miraculous present, mistakes of the past are undone.
The time it takes for the material world to reflect our shift from fear-based to miracle-minded thinking is symbolized in the Old Testament by the forty years it took for the Israelites, after fleeing their slave condition, to reach the Promised Land. It is expressed in the New Testament by the three days after the crucifixion before Jesus rose. In the biblical stories of both Moses and Jesus, the mind of one close to God became a conduit for the reconstruction of the mortal world. We, too, through the power of our thinking, can radically shift our experience of the world.
God loves us the same when we do the wise thing as when we make mistakes. His love for us is based not on our behavior but on who we are, and He knows who we are—innocent within—because He made us that way. When we make a mistake, it’s because in the moment we make it we forget who we are, and His response to that is not to punish us but to correct us.
This doesn’t mean you don’t have to do anything to make things right; in fact, any lesson you might have failed to learn before, you will have to learn now. The mercy of the universe lies in the fact that you are given the opportunity to do that. You might not get a bigger paycheck right away; you might have to humble yourself and make do with less for a while. You might not be Mr. or Ms. Big Shot in a new position; you might have to be brought down a few notches before you can make your next big move up. But you will see the handwriting of God in all of it, if you participate in—rather than resist—the balancing of the spiritual scales. You will know in your heart that this is a good thing, and you will be glad to earn your way back into the abundant realm. Once you have reclaimed your inner prosperity, the universe will begin the process of reclaiming it externally.
You are internally programmed to rise to your highest creative possibility. Nothing you do can erase the yearning of your soul to achieve it, or the yearning of the universe to give it to you. No deviation from love—on your part or anyone else’s—can keep the universe from its divine intention that your life be one of fullness and joy.
According to A Course in Miracles, any miracle you might have deflected is “held in trust for you until you are ready to receive it.” The universe has an inbuilt insurance policy. Whatever you have lost is programmed to return—in another form, in another situation, in another town, or with other people, perhaps, but through the power of atonement, it will return.
Dear God,
I feel that I have failed.
I feel that all my efforts have come to naught.
I feel shame at the way my life has turned out.
I do not know what to do or where to go.
Please, dear God, repair my heart,
Heal my mind, and change my life.
Pave a way for me out of darkness into light.
I atone for my errors, and I pray for forgiveness.
Please do for me what I cannot do.
Thank you, God.
Amen.